Light, Dark, and Discarded Pieces of Myself

For many pagans, this Thursday marks Mabon, a holiday to celebrate the changing seasons and welcome the second harvest. On this day, also called the Autumn Equinox, day and night are the same amount of time, so for many of us it's a chance to celebrate the necessity of both light and dark, and the joy that the balance of both brings.

This Mabon, I was struggling to figure out what my meditation and ritual should be. My usual celebrations just didn't feel right, and I have had the most confusing few weeks. Finally on a walk along the river, as I admired the leaves starting to turn, I cried out to my gods to cut through my scattered, sad thoughts, and slowly as I meandered it started coming to me. You see, for as long as I can remember, I've almost completely reinvented myself every few years. Often this was out of necessity--when you see the good in everyone, you often overlook the bad so I got my heart trampled on a lot. I've been taken advantage of a lot. And every time I got fed up, I just started over. New friend group, new clothing style, hair chopped off, big steps forward in my career. There were even a few dramatic location changes somewhere in there. In some areas of my life this has served me incredibly well. My multiple careers are streamlined enough to keep me motivated but relatively stable, and I am beyond in love with Minneapolis, my apartment, my cats, my blue and purple hair. Embracing the new--the new day, the new sun, the new light, has always created a multitude of blessings for me.

But with each new version of me, I killed off old parts of myself that I know I was meant to retain, each time losing another piece of my soul and my power until finally, I went through my current evolution--the one where my anxiety went through the roof and I didn't actually evolve so much as got really scared and meek. Of everything. Obviously none of that is working for me, at all and emotionally it has all been hitting a head I didn't understand. I have spent the last few weeks feeling so lost. I have a beautiful apartment, and so many other blessings and I thought when this many things would click into place I'd feel better. Less scared, less sad, less meek. Instead I've spent the last few weeks crying at the drop of a hat and staring off into space, completely unmotivated.

Then a college friend came to see me, and as we regaled my (amazing, not going anywhere) friends with stories of second college me, I felt completely overwhelmed and yet better than I have in months. It felt like I'd been wearing some costume that didn't quite fit and this college friend I haven't even seen in forever somehow made me see how silly I looked without even knowing what she was doing. While I was still reeling from this, I ran into an old rival from a couple of life cycles ago. She has moved on and is stable and content in her life, and was thrilled to see me. Catching up was surprisingly nice even as my stomach filled with butterflies for reasons I didn't understand. I eventually realized that I thought I'd been living in fear of running into her or other people from this phase, but really I've been afraid of running into the version of myself I was then. But I realized during our jovial conversation that this rival wasn't all bad then, and neither was I.

The old, the abandoned, the dark--these are the parts of myself I've kept hidden from all but a few. These are the parts I've kept hidden from myself in spite of glaring evidence that my sass, my cunning, my strength were needed. This Mabon I want to dance in my own darkness and feel it around me. I want to wear it like a shroud and when day breaks I want to keep wearing it still as the sun beats down on my face assuring me that these old versions of me aren't only harmless, but good for me. This Mabon, I want to return from the grey I've been living in and trying to convince myself that this is what light feels like. This Mabon, I want to renegotiate my concepts of light and dark entirely. This Mabon, I want my first spiritual connections to be with the versions of myself I killed off. I want them to know I'm sorry. I want them to come back. And I want the me that willed this apartment, my tarot business, my writing career into being, that fights for my theatre company's success every day, that keeps loving new friends and partners even when it's the scariest thing in the world, to know one thing: she's not going anywhere either.

Literary Magic: Two Must-Reads to Snag ASAP

Originally this was going to be two separate posts. I read a lot and I always do a book recommendation or two from the month in my End of Month wrap-up, but occasionally a book stands out so far above and beyond--AND fits right into what I want to do with my tarot practice and this blog that they deserve their own time. Each of these definitively deserve their own time, but between moving and maintaining everything I just don't have the time each deserves.

Nonetheless, I wanted to say SOMETHING about them and push, push, push you to go buy them as soon as humanly possible. The first will be of interest to ANYONE who found their way here via my Queering the Tarot series or by cross searching "queer" and "tarot".

Jailbreaking the Goddess takes critiques every progressive person has about the traditional Maiden, Mother, Crone Goddess path (ugh, virginity! ugh, wombs!) and offers a much-needed alternative. Larissa Firefox Allen's FIVE-FOLD Goddess path gets us away from woman = body and creates a nuanced, full look at Goddess energy and how it potentially applies to our work with this new understanding. Not only is this line of magick much more welcoming to trans Goddess worshippers, but the additional faces of the Goddess offer a whole new world of opportunity and understanding in our spiritual practice.

Firefox Allen also pulls no punches when discussing appropriation and colonization of spirituality. While those of us who have been doing feminist and anti-racist work for awhile may find a few chapters a little "Radicalism 101", for many picking up this book they are a necessity. For the rest of us--well, having some pages we can merely skim makes it all the easier to process our new understanding of our own dieties. My personal favorite part of the book's unique (and so easy to follow!) structure was the sections highlighting examples of dieties--AND REAL HUMANS--who exhibit the characteristics of the Goddess aspect being discussed. My only real critique of Jailbreaking the Goddess is that the journal prompts are almost too frequent. You may pick it up and decide I'm wrong, but since I tend to highlight, take notes, etc. when reading anyway, an additional prompt after basic material introductions threw me off. I complied in the beginning but by the third face, I just read several sections at a time and then journaled my reactions to the questions that came up either in prompts or other thoughts I had. Even with that distraction, this book significantly deepened my relationship with the Divine, helped me heal emotionally in a lot of places, and completely altered how I think about spiritual energy for the better. And even for someone who wears their queerness, their feminism, their radicalism like a second skin, it definitely opened my eyes to new ways to practice my faith in a more conscientious, decolonized way.

This next one may come as a surprise to some of my readers. I am incredibly skeptical about books bordering on self-help, even when disguised as business or finance books, and I keep my relationship with money pretty separate from everything else I do. However, a few people I really respect on the metaphysical blogosphere were pretty excited about it, so I went ahead and ordered Bari Tessler's The Art of Money. Three pages in, I had to put it down because I was crying. Hysterically. This book is about so much more than money, best practices, and spiritual entrepreneurship. It is part self-help but it actually helps. The first third of Tessler's program focuses on healing your emotional relationship with money, and before you roll your eyes, just check out the book. This section of the book literally changed my life. Tessler has us delve into money memories, and it has completely altered my perception of what is and isn't possible in my life in all the best ways. It has also made me more fearless in my business practices. It is intense emotional therapy, and everyone I've had read it had a similar reaction. Yet just when you think you're totally overwhelmed and aren't sure what your next move should be, Tessler introduces you to some incredibly practical measures that changed my life in a much more mundane but prosperous way. I was shocked when I did my first accounting session with myself; first by how much I was making, then by how much I was spending. One of the money stories that was wrong that I have told myself was "you don't have money"--over and over since childhood. Which made me unaccountable as an adult solo entrepreneur to anyone but my landlord (who I always managed to pull it together for). I'm certainly not dining with the Kardashians anytime soon, but getting my spending in a couple of areas under control is JUST as important to me right now as bringing more in after actually seeing the numbers. (Actually, post-move that's not really true, but in general it absolutely is.)

Tessler also takes care to stress that there are very real societal issues that may prevent you from fully reaching your financial potential, and admits she doesn't have solutions for that--instead the practical tips she does offer and her insistence on values-based bookkeeping will help almost anyone, and certainly anyone who does have steady income. Tessler also stresses that this one book is not the permanent solution. You have to keep healing your relationship with money, and you have to keep letting that relationship evolve and begin to affect your other habits. It may take re-reads and years of consistent journaling, but it beyond a doubt turned my relationship with money completely upside down even on this first go-round.

This is an admittedly abrupt end to this blog, but that's what I've got today! Now go, get all well-read and stuff. Until next time,

Blessed Be.

August is Over--Praise Literally Everyone

Wow this summer was hard for me, holy crap. But you know what? Summer is always my worst season. I don't know what it is. It started in childhood, but almost every bad thing that's ever happened to me has happened in summer (ironically, except for the reasons I actually have PTSD). This was the worst one in quite a while, but it always give way to my favorite season. Autumn is always when I do my best work, plant my best seeds while pulling up from my best harvests at the same time. I know everyone loves autumn, Pagans especially, but it has always been when I get my fresh starts. And sure enough, I got mine this year. I finally found an amazing, affordable apartment for the QPP and I to continue our lives and start this next chapter and be happy and live comfortably indefinitely. The only thing on my wish list that I didn't get was "outdoor space" and we are shy one room--but there is PLENTY of space for my tarot studio in the main space if we ever need that third bedroom for something else. (Plus I have my own bathroom, my first walk-in closet, and the internet company randomly sent us a box that makes the network channels be on my TV at no extra charge?). I'm so grateful and feel like my old self again. (Which you'll note via silly cat pics and me in goofy hats while unpacking if you follow me on Snapchat.) Needless to say, hunting a place to live and then moving into absorbed most of my August, but I managed to squeeze in some work and play.

• My Tarot Practice stayed strong, and the email side of things has already seen a spike since the energy of acquiring a tarot room came into my life. I acquired a few more regulars and my time at The Eye of Horus every week is such a saving grace spiritually as well as providing such a beautiful tarot opportunity.
• Things I Wrote: Still in love with my turn at Little Red Tarot, and over at TheColu.mn I published this spotlight on a documentary some of my IRL friends were featured in. I also got comped into the premiere as a result and it was such a wonderful experience overall. Here on my own blog, I got to interview TWO queer deck creators and squeezed some other things out too.
• Theatre Life: Prep, prep, prep! Cleaning out and rearranging our gallery, rehearsals for our mainstage show, and TWO big September events coming up. Not the most exciting to blog about, but our PlayGround is buzzing with energy and love. I did get to witness two amazing mainstays of the space: OUTSpoken, a queer open mic that meets there monthly, and New Sh!t Show, Minneapolis--a place for artists of all types to try out brand new pieces. I'm so in love with the space and my co-conspirators. To find out more including how to support, head here.
• Other Things I Loved: My new neighborhood in NE Minneapolis, the view from my apartment, my new furniture--just, you know, new apartment life in general. Hitting up the Joke Joint in St. Paul (well, just outside of) with friends I don't get to see very often. Our first Squad birthday of birthday season which took us all over LynLake raising hell (with respect to neighbors of course). Getting to actually see several Fringe Festival shows thanks to generous friends and an unusually good client week right before. (And everything was so good!)

Finally I have to give a huge, huge shout out to my friends and family this summer. I was not easy to love when I couldn't find a place. I was miserable and I wanted everyone to know it and I wavered between needing non-stop attention and wanting to just hide and disappear. Not only was nearly everyone in my life wonderful that whole time, but so many people helped me move and were so happy to see our place. People rearranged their whole weekends super last minute and took me thrift shopping for furniture, gifted me furniture, gifted me money to help with all those last minute moving expenses, and of course came and did the (literal) heavy lifting to get us moved into the new space quickly. Once I settled a little (though I still have so, so much to unpack.) I realized how much love and magick I'd been gifted the whole time. It's not that I wasn't grateful in the moment, I just felt so panicked I couldn't process it. But now I never want to forget how loved I feel after this month, and to put that much love back out in the world moving forward. I know life always has its ups and downs but before I found a place I was so worried I was regressing. Now I'm so elated and really feel like I hit the restart button in all the right ways. So if you're my squad or my fam and you're reading this--thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you--I want to say it forever. I love you all (even those just reading or who just cam here for tarot or queer thoughts and insights) so much. I can't wait to see what this September brings.

Blessed Be,

Cassandra

Dust II Onyx: A Melanated Tarot Deck

While I adore tarot and my life in it, I have so many decks and work with so many beautiful witches and artists in all aspects of my life, so it takes a lot to really get me going at this point. However, when I received an email from a self-described fat/black/queer woman that had their artistic vision come to them in a dream, I had to find more. I'm so thrilled I got to chat more with Courtney Alexander about the upcoming Dust II Onyx, a deck created for people struggling with the same lack of representation in a world of #tarotsowhite that Alexander chose to address.

First, I just want to know more about YOU! Tell me everything!
Well, my mom-given name is Courtney Alexander. I'm an artist and recently graduated (December 2015) with my degree in Studio Art from the University of South Florida. I'm fairly new to tarot. I've been learning a little under 2 years. I began with apps and this year I finally purchased a physical deck. I grew up Christian, and in my early 20s began my shift away from it. But I always had an aversion to tarot because of what I had been told. I was comfortable going to a clairvoyant healer, but she didn't use cards so it felt "safe". Then as I progressed in my personal journey I allowed myself to experience tarot. I realized there wasn't anything overly scary about them and recognized the tools they could be to tap into our higher consciousness. Using apps was convenient for me to try out different styles and just learn about the cards. Looking for a physical deck was a bit more difficult. Finding that one that really called to me was not easy. I settled on Aquarian Tarot by David Pallidini for my first deck and I really love it. I've always liked the Art Deco style. Plus I find his deck to be great for deeper work than the traditional Rider-Waite. I use it more for deep emotional and spiritual probing. I also have the Crystal Tarot by Lo Scarabeo. However I was unaware it was Pip-based and so I don't use it as much. But it's still beautiful and I bring it out every now and then to experiment. I have the traditional RW gifted to me by a friend for external issues and mini Angel Cards. I'm not really drawn to angel themes/imagery but these little one word cards have been invaluable in clarifying my readings. especially as a newbie reader.

Aside from tarot, I also loveee crystals. I've amassed a nice collection. I use them to grid and pair it with candle burning. I have an Aunt who has always been into the occult so she helped me learn more about the power of candle reading. I also enjoy making my own auric sprays, spiritually cleansing bath products, and creating altars. I have mini altars around my home that I construct from random items around my home. The process of putting together things with what I have (and just a few purchased small items) really helps me connect with my intentions. It's been a very effective focus tool for me. 

You mentioned to me struggling for awhile to see yourself in the cards, even when you decided to make your own deck. Can you say more about that, and go ahead and go into how your vision for Dust II Onyx came to be?
I'm at this point in my spiritual journey where I've shed a lot of misconceptions about ritual practices. Most of my exposure has been in "new age" spaces, so of course meditation, crystals, and energy healing is where I started. Then through my art I began to explore West African cultures. Art is intricately weaved into their culture and spiritual practices that you can't separate the two when learning about the various belief systems. African-based spiritual practices are somehow seen as darker and more dangerous than even Wiccan and Pagan practices. There's this inherent fear of the deep spirituality of African people that had created such a block in me but I had to break it down. I'm still not to the place where I work with Orishas or anything, but I realize now the importance of that energy being bought into my practices. Most spiritual spaces I occupied on and offline were very white-dominated. Although it doesn't bother me in regards to my ability to build one-on-one relationships, these spaces never made me feel completely safe and open. I couldn't talk about real issues I experience at the intersections of racism/sexism/fatphobia without being dismissed. Especially as a Black American, we have definitely been taught to distance ourselves from our spiritual roots.  

I say this to say essentially representation matters. Having spaces for POC and LGBTQ is vital. We also need to see it in the art and tools we use such as tarot.

That's part of the reason why Dust II Onyx came to be. I wanted to create the kind of deck I wish I had. There are several decks with POC, but I found I wasnt drawn to some of the art or themes. Many decks seemed to references common themes like Orishas, Egypt, or the art was purposely drawn in this basic "primitive" (I shutter at the word) fashion to make it seem more indigenous inspired. None of it appealed to me. I wanted to see melanated people just be beautiful and powerful without limitation. I wanted a deck that other POC could relate too that didn't rely upon any cliches or typical themes because we are so much broader than that.

As for the art, I wasn't sure up until very recently what the cards would look like. I had two dreams about black portraits. In the dream the figures were completely black. The figures were matte with these high gloss highlights that brought the figure forth. It was gorgeous. The black on black made the figures barely noticeable, but intense. The clothing was so lusciously painted with what I’d guess was oil paint, in these deep jewel tones. I plan on doing some separate paintings more in the exact style of what was in my dream. Either way it still was a great inspiration for this deck and not far from what I had been moving into already in regards to my artistic process.

What's the process of building a deck been like?
It's been quite a journey so far. I produced 18 of the cards in a very short amount of time, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I'd do and plan out details but that didn't work. I had a deadline set for myself since I wanted to premiere them at a local art event. Once I began working they all just came to me intuitively. I didn't spend too much time researching in regards to symbolism or anything. I had enough knowledge from my own tarot use to understand the energy of the cards and some common references. Aside from that, I just decided to work with what I had; my pastels, acrylic and piles of fashion magazines. The cards I struggled with the most were the cards that I also struggled with in my spiritual life (for example, the Magician). Creating these has deepened my personal understanding of the cards so much. What comes forth is as new to me as it is to everyone else. So I have to go back and interpret my own creation. Using the Magician card for example, I wasn't sure what the hell I was doing. It looked like some weird man child. But as I meditated on it I realized the Magician is like a child. Children have no sense of limitation until we put it on them. They use what's at their disposal to create their world. There's also a connection between the scales texture of the clothing and the infinity signs throughout. It reminds me of Ouroboros, the snake that eats its own tail. It references alchemy, the infinite and wholeness. All of these details were not thought of or planned. It's cool to go back and see how the work is being created from a space beyond my own consciousness.

What else do you want us to know about this deck that you haven't gotten to say yet?
That it is something that I feel is seriously being birthed from me. Not just a baby in terms of my ownership of this project. But more-so in this way where events in my life have brought me to what feels like a fated point. Before this deck was created I had been going through a lot of stress. I was dealing with anxiety and depression on a level I hadn't for a long time. Then I noticed my dreams and card readings all pointing towards birth and I honestly thought I was pregnant, LOL. I was afraid it was a real baby. Looking back I believe it was Dust II Onyx. If the chain of events never transpired in my life the work would not be what it is. So I'm dedicated to bringing it forth. It wants to be out there and it's informing me of what it wants to be every step of the way.

A personal goal I have is to bring the artwork for this deck into the contemporary gallery space. As an artist I love creating experiences. I've had the desire to fulfill a particular solo exhibition project for awhile now and this deck art will definitely be a part of it. I want to transform the modern gallery space into an immersive and spiritual experience, as well as use it as a platform to introduce more people to the beauty of tarot.

How can we best support this deck and your tarot efforts?
Share with anyone you know would appreciate the work. Talk about it in your communities. Reach out to me with resources or suggestions. Preorder, preorder, preorder. Kickstarter is my way of being accountable to everyone who wants to support this project. There's a risk of not meeting the KS goal and therefore receiving nothing. But that is also the exciting part. It's not just a push to sell. When the public is excited about what you have to offer they want to see you succeed, so it's a bit more than just dropping money in the bucket. It's all of us pooling together to make this project a reality. Teamwork makes the dream work.

Kickstarter funds will go towards production, print, shipping, campaign fees, and limited first edition run of the deck. Any leftover funds will be seed money for a 2nd edition of the deck and a companion book. I look forward to this project opening doors to other opportunities to not only share my work in general, but to also offer more to the tarot community. I've already had visions for another deck to come once this project is complete so this is only the beginning. I'm so grateful for the love and support I've received so far. There is so much more amazing work to come and I'm super excited about it!

• Sign up for email updates at http://dust2onyx.launchrock.com
• www.dustonyx.com
• facebook.com/dust2onyx
• instagram.com/dust2onyxtarot

Thanks so much to Courtney for letting us know about this deck and sharing her important vision and art with the the world. I'm so excited to see how things develop. And don't forget:
 

Blessed be, all.

Basic Witchery for When Life Is SO Bad (or Busy) You Just Can't

I am beyond stressed right now. Beyond. I need an apartment confirmed last week and I am still searching. I have spent so much money on housing applications that I'm questioning how necessary eating is (very important, don't follow my path on this). I am exhausted. I run a theatre company, I write actually professionally, and I run a tarot business. On top of that I am chronically ill, and now I am spending hours a week house hunting.

Suffice it to say, my daily spiritual care has taken a bit of a backseat. BUT never fear, I'm here to talk about the things I DO remember to do every day (and you can too!) to stay as grounded, focused, and feeling like my witchy, whimsical, overly ambitious self.

• Carry your stones around. It sounds obvious, but I leave them on my altar most of the time...but I don't really have an altar right now, so they are in a box and my favorites/the most necessary ones get pocketed every day. I have a peacock ore I got in LA that I feel almost paternal towards, and a small jet palm stone. Both of those help me find and center myself when the anxiety seems overwhelming. And when that doesn't work, tourmilated quartz specifically works to turn overwhelm to joy, and unakite is sometimes thought to pull negativity right out of you. Those are MY favorites for trying or hectic times, but you may have some of your own. Find some time to sit with them in your hands, or just give them a QUICK charge of your energy in the morning.
• Essential oil! (or oil mixes) A lot of them can not be applied directly onto your skin without some problems, so ask your friendly metaphysical store clerk before assuming. Once you have one that is, keep a small vial near you for whatever purposes you need. I like Dragon's Blood for urgency, and have some Rosemary and Peppermint I mixed myself to cry out to Hestia right now. I also have prosperity and protection mixes that I like. I bring this up, because a lot of times we get them for aromatherapy diffusers or to dress candles or do other extensive work with, but if you have a skin-safe oil, you can just slap it on your pulse points and under your nose, say a (QUICK!) incantation, and be on your way.
• Incantations: for focus, for calm, and for anything else you need in the moment. My meditative practice is really more of a theory right now, but I still take a few seconds every few hours to fondle my amethyst and moonstone pendants, and restate my intentions for the day. It takes maybe 10 minutes total throughout the whole day.
• Light a candle while you're doing other stuff. Enough said. Sprinkle herbs on your windowsill. Pet an animal. Get your feet in the dirt or natural water for even one minute. Shower more consciously, with more attention to the water and your body.

These are a few of the things I trade off when daily meditations and nightly candle lightings can't happen, and no, it's not perfect and I still feel like I'm falling apart throughout much of my day--but I can calm my panic and meet most of my goals, magickal or otherwise, with keeping up my efforts but changing what they look like. Hope this is helpful to you too, and I'd love to hear how you stay witchy when life is wicked.

Blessed be!

A Linestrider Tarot Review!

My tastes can run pretty exclusively queer, feminist, and indie so when I noticed a new deck at the metaphysical store where I have a (wonderful) steady gig that didn't fit into that at all, I was extra enchanted by it for the sheer fact that I normally pass a lot of decks like that by. I kept coming back and playing with the demo, even doing a couple of personal readings with it. Finally I broke down, bought it, and brought it home. I'm officially grounded from buying decks, having also bought the new version of the Wild Unknown this month, but I feel genuinely blessed to have this deck in my life.

The deck is Siolo Thompson's Linestrider Tarot, and Thompson's mission was to add her own touch to a classic divination system. The deck's most important feature and why I think it called out so loudly to me was because the accompanying box and book confirm that part of the artist's "own touch" is adding whimsy to a divination system that goes deep to bring you to a place of healing and intuition. Tarot can get very heavy and very real, so adding a whimsical touch to remind us that whimsy exists is really inspired. I talk a lot about my PTSD and the fact that fun, lightness (as opposed to heaviness), and humor are crucial to my day to day existence. I'm a huge stand-up fan, and bubbles are on my "basic needs" tier when I'm stocking up my house, but I also work hard towards my goals and my own healing and recovery. This deck almost seems tailor-made for me--but I ran a discount using my new decks for private clients throughout July and it quickly became a favorite of my clients' as well.

I've already talked about overall inspiration and connection to this deck, so I'll dive right into how that manifests in the Artwork.Thompson created a deck that is deeply inspired by more traditional decks, but very successfully reinvents those images. The pictures seem simple--animals and people alike have firmer, darker lines creating their shape and watercolor to fill it out. Many of the images include a basic splash of watercolor for interest and mood. It's absolutely beautiful, and pictures never do it justice. It's definitely one I recommend getting in your hands. It is truly lovely, and the promise to stay true to tarot's depth while also bringing in some silliness and joy comes through in nearly every spread I've laid out. The card quality is not my favorite, and that does bring me down slightly. This is certainly not Thompson's fault and even though it's gotten pretty heavy use since I got it, nothing has cracked or worn down, and it's become more pleasant to touch as it's gotten shuffled more. They are a little stiff and just not as smooth or seamless as I had hoped.

The Queerness Quotient is really interesting in this deck. I want to be clear that I in no way think decks have to be queer, though I do think in 2016 they should be inclusive overall and a little more progressive in terms of gender roles. In the negative, the Linestrider does stick pretty rigidly to men as knights and kings, women as queens and pages as well as the presumptions that can accompany the Majors. However, Thompson (very likely not accidentally) uses a lot of animals in the deck, including in cards of romantic love or where a lot of gendered assumptions about relationships would normally be. Additionally, there are a few human characters that don't have a clear gender for us to make assumptions about, and that's done really well and in completely appropriate positions. Most of my Queering the Tarot work is using decks like this that someone might love or be really drawn to for personal reasons but that some cards may be hard to relate to on first glance. If you're good at thinking outside of the box or familiar with any of Queering the Tarot, this deck is relatively easy to work with.

Overally inclusivity however is slightly lacking. It's easy for me to believe that not all of the humans are intended to default to being white (it's a lot of lines and shadows that intentionally don't seem detailed or finished), but many going into a deck will assume that characters not explicitly POC are not. Decks shouldn't fall into the #tarotsowhite gap in 2016, but I do think that this blow is softened by the fact that many of the humans are just suggestions of humans and many of the cards are just animals. I definitely think that is this deck's weak spot.

Guidebook and Ease of Learning is stellar. This is probably the best deck for total beginner's that I've picked up in awhile, and definitely the best deck for intermediate to advanced readers who don't want to put a ton of effort into learning a new deck that I've picked up in a really long time. The animal symbolism is fun to read into, but knowing a ton isn't necessary as Thompson doesn't necessarily stick to that. The accompanying book is really easy to read, and Thompson doesn't unnecessarily throw you for a loop, though it is really fun to see her spin and interpretation of the cards she did get more creative with. While the cards seem really simple they do each of a few other details thrown in for symbolism and that's really fun to play with and add layers to your current understanding.

I am still very taken with this deck. I absolutely love it, and next month it is getting added to my general repertoire for sure. If you're looking for something different but not difficult to learn, this is a really solid option. The use of color and simple symbols is so smart and often so fun. I can't say enough good things about it, so I'll cut off here. It's produced by Llewellyn, so it should be really easy to find. They even have it on Amazon, but I can't suggest going to your local metaphysical shop or a private bookstore instead enough.

Until next time, Blessed Be.

A Spread for Helping a Loved One

Love languages are tricky. While I think the writings about them are important, I'm always a little skeptical when we try to box in or quantify people. Usually what I need from the people I love is quality time, a few snuggles, and support for my dreams. Still, when I'm dumped or feeling hopeless I need words of encouragement. When I'm not able to take care of myself properly because of financial or illness constraint I need acts of service or gifts. No one is one way and no one loves one way. This is complicated by the fact that while I receive love in those ways, I most often express it in encouraging words or gifts, so people assume that's all I need or what I want in return. Then there are times I truly believe no one knows what they want or need, so expressing it or asking for it becomes impossible. My queerplatonic partner right now is going through every bit the hard time I am. We can't find housing and it's really dampening both of our inner lights to not be out on our own (together) right now. Coupled with some job crises on their end, it's been really rough and my normal loved-one's intuition was severely hampered. As always when things are dark, I turned to the tarot for a simple, straightforward spread to see what they needed from me right now.

I know when creating spreads most readers start with overarching themes or ideas, but I nearly always put them last. This is because of how my anxiety works. I usually need the answers when I need them, and then I'm able to take a breathe and see the big picture. If my order of the card placements doesn't work for you, feel free to move them around. Tarot is fluid, and it's best when hyper-personalized.

Deck is Wild Unkown; the new version.

For this spread, I just did three cards. Card 1 is What do they need me to do right now? The Sun lets me know that in remaining optimistic, family-oriented and confident their own mood will alter. As someone who prides herself on her whimsy who is dealing with a very Earthy Earth sign, this is likely also a note to get us not only having fun, but outside in the summer heat so we're not just sitting around fretting. This was an easy message to take though I haven't felt very optimistic lately. I do think that being compassionate to yourself is the most important thing except in extreme circumstances, but I can definitely get us outside and having fun, and I can definitely share my optimism when it does trickle in. 

Card 2 is What do they need me to say right now? The three of cups is all about celebrating love and accomplishments, so my words of encouragement right now can be anything from affirming that I love them no matter what to reminding them of the good they're doing in the world in our lives. I was actually not super off track here, so that was affirming but does help me focus my "helper" energy to this stream.

Card 3 is the bigger picture card I mentioned that you may want to put first. It's What is my role in the things? The Seven of Cups assures me that they are still making decisions with our weird chosen family in mind. This is a card of choices and decisions, so helping make those as well as keeping that cups love flowing is part of my role right now. Knowing my steadfast qpp's heart and chosen relationship roles, it may even be guiding me to fulfill the role of being the primary decision-maker since they have SO much on their plate. The seven of cups is also a card of imagination that coupled with the sun reminds me to not stop dreaming and putting new ideas on the table for consideration.

A lot of times I sit down and work to create a spread I actively engage my imagination and toy with a few different ideas. This one came to me more intuitively and has helped ease the would-be burden beautifully. I also recommend recalibrating this spell for self-love and nurturing the sides of yourself that are feeling angsty.

Until next time, Blessed be.

Welcoming August (and Lammas) with Open Arms

Lammas (which is tomorrow) is generally a time to welcome a harvest with open arms, celebrating the growth and fruition of all the seeds you planted. The reality of this year is that a lot of planted seeds that sprouted only to wither or die or never got off the ground in the first place. This too is a gift, it's just one that takes awhile to process the lessons and gifts off. My preferred method of this is to count my blessings of what DID harvest, or what blew in in lieu of one while I journal through my darker feelings. I do not expect anyone to be able to match me in this--we are allowed to grieve when our dreams die and if wallowing is what you need then wallow like no one ever has before. For me personally, it helps with the grieving to honor the good in that time. SO with that in mind, here's my blessings list/July wrap-up.

• Outdoor Tarot is consistently a high point in my life, and while me and my favorite decks didn't have any huge adventures, we did go out to a hippie farm up north, out to my yard on countless days, and to a beautiful cabin (that one of my best friends owns) in the cutest small town in Wisconsin.
• Things I Wrote: Still in love with my turn at Little Red Tarot, and over at TheColu.mn I published this huge write-up of Queer Fringe pieces. I was thrilled to hop over to Abbie's blog to talk about my favorite writer and what tarot IS to me. I also talked about the importance of taking a break, how to support Black Lives Matter, and a relationship check-in and advice spread on this very blog.
• Theatre Life: Gadfly is moving into an art gallery! I'm sure I'll post more about this, as creating and changing an environment is a spiritual and creative endeavor in and of itself. As such we are genuinely elated for this opportunity, as well as the opportunity to offer low cost space to other queer and marginalized artists. I also took part in the One Minute Play Festival which really reignited my love and joy of theatre outside of Gadfly again.
• Other Things I Loved: playtime with my cat babies (even if they are a suburb over from me right now :( ); boat rides in new lakes, game nights (so many game nights!), the most fun night ever at my new favorite bar/old school arcade, an all POC version of my favorite monthly show, OutSpoken, and too, too many trips to my favorite dive queer bar and corresponding diner across the street.
• Recommendations: The Art of Money by Bari Tesler which I will have MUCH more about coming soon. Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera. All of the Saga and all of the Lumberjanes. Season 3 of Bojack Horseman and Stranger Things, both on Netflix. Pokemon Go, obviously. The card game Gloom (so silly-macabre and fun). The Linestrider tarot (official review coming soon!).

I hope those of you celebrating harvests this Lammas get to keep on rocking and those of you grieving missown or bum seeds have a better fall. Blessed be. XO.

Heart and Hands Tarot--Support Now!

Good Afternoon all! I once again feel myself compelled to apologize for a lack of posts but I'm excited to be back, and SO excited to be writing a tarot deck in the works. Liz Blackbird contacted me about her upcoming Heart and Hands Tarot and the IndieGoGo making it all possible. I'm always happy to support queer creators, and I was additionally intrigued by the black and white art. As I watched the video on the campaign's page, I was moved by the unspoken but strong healing energy that went into the deck. I responded and told Liz I was eager to learn more. Here's our Q&A and some info about how you can support this great deck:

Tell us about yourself, first!
My name is Liz Blackbird (she/her/hers). I’m a visual artist, fiction writer, and poet currently based in Brooklyn, but I’m about to move to Ohio to pursue an MFA in creative writing. I’m originally from Michigan, so this will be a bit of a homecoming!

Prior to printing this deck, what was your relationship to tarot?
I’ve been interested in tarot since I was a teenager. I grew up in the suburbs of Flint in the 90s and generally felt a little unsatisfied with the environment around me, like it was kind of a bad fit, like there had to be something better out there. So I think I was predisposed to be attracted to all things magical. I was not raised religious, but my mother’s family was Catholic and evangelical Christianity was a strong (and often oppressive) force many of my friends’ lives, so I’ve also always been resistant to organized religion. A lot of my friends at that time felt similarly and were exploring wicca, neopaganism, and other more open-ended spiritual practices, and I initially learned about tarot through them. Many of us would ultimately come out as queer, and I think that had a lot to do with those initial feelings of discomfort with the status quo and the “bad fit” it seemed to be for us that led us to seek alternative spiritual paths in the first place.

The tarot attracted me as an artist, because I love the way its meanings are conveyed visually through mysterious and evocative images. It also nested nicely with my general agnosticism – whether or not I believe that I am being guided by supernatural forces, I can still trust that what I “read” in the tarot represents my truth on some level, even if it’s just tapping into something I already know about a situation but have been afraid to admit to myself, or giving me a framework to think about a situation in a different way. I generally only read for myself or close friends, so I’m usually pretty intimately acquainted with the lives of people I read for.

What stands out about the Heart and Hands deck? Why did you want to create this deck specifically?
The genesis of this deck was different than most, because it initially began not as a commercial endeavor, but as a personal project that I undertook to help me develop a new artistic direction at a time when I was feeling a little blocked. I had decided not to focus on studio art in college, and was regretting that decision a little bit. I had a really inspiring art professor at the time, Jyung Mee Park at the Maryland Institute College of Art, who essentially told me not to force it, that your art should stem from something you do naturally. In my sketchbooks, I had been doing a lot of casual black-and-white free-associative drawing, so I decided to try to take on a project in that style to see where I could go with it. I was already interested in tarot but didn’t feel that my knowledge of the cards’ meanings was very strong, so I decided to try designing my own deck to both stimulate my creativity and get to know the cards better. This, of course, turned out to be a much bigger project than I expected! It took me ten years to complete the illustrations. Though I had initially expected the project to remain private, as the years went by, so many of my friends saw my drawings and asked about how to get a copy of the deck that I decided I had to print it. I named it the Heart & Hands Tarot as a reminder of the power of our hearts to dream new possibilities and our hands to put those dreams into practice.

Ultimately, I think the black-and-white illustration style I developed is very unique and makes the deck stand out. I also think that my intention to enact a kind of creative “rebirth” through creating these cards really permeates the deck and comes through in the lushness and exuberance of the drawings. I also tried to create images that communicate the meanings of the cards in a direct and relatable way without requiring prior knowledge of other fields, like astrology and Kabbalah. But in general, I think my slow and meditative composition process—the fact that I didn’t force it—is what makes this deck special.

How does your deck speak to marginalized and queer audiences?
Because I identify as queer, and because queerness was so bound up in the way I first became interested in tarot, I tried to design this deck in a way that that avoided presuming heterosexuality or a male perspective, and that included people of color. Many of my figures, especially my Lovers, are very androgynous, and my number cards are all zoomed in to depict only the figures’ hands to avoid ascribing them a fixed identity. For my court cards, I chose to use a Prince and Princess rather than a Knight and Page to have gender equity within the court. There are also two major arcana cards that depict genderqueer figures – Justice and the World. In general, I wanted to create space in the designs for readers to be able to ascribe their own gender and sexuality interpretations to the cards.

Another big element of my work is in helping people heal so they can get to the part where they can be inspired and empowered. How does your deck speak to the healing process?
I think that in a lot of ways, creating this deck was a form of shadow work. Being a visual artist was a strong part of my identity as a teen, but because I did not focus on studio art in college, I found it harder and harder to maintain a creative practice in my 20s. Working on this deck was a big part of what kept me connected to that creative part of myself even as I was trying to make a living in other fields. Also, because the tarot is, among other things, a compendium of archetypal personalities, situations, concepts, and developmental states that we might experience throughout the life cycle, I found that working on parts of the deck that corresponded to issues I was dealing with in my life at the time was a great way to think through those issues in a broader, more distanced, more insightful way. 

Thank you so much for taking time to tell me more about this wonderful new addition to the tarot canon. How can we find out more or support you?
I’m currently running an Indiegogo campaign to raise funds to print the deck, so please visit my campaign page to support the project and to check out the "perks" (including copies of the deck) available for donating. https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/heart-hands-tarot-deck/x/14290775#/ The campaign will be live until August 14th! I'm also launching an Etsy shop, ThirteenWaysToLook, so that I can make the deck available there after the campaign ends. It should be active by the winter of this year.

Thanks so much to all of you, especially Liz. Now, go support indie decks!

Blessed Be.

Take A Break. Take a Breathe.

The Southern Theater During One Minute Play Festival

I love theater. I love it with a passion and intensity that sometimes keeps me up at night reading script after script or watching illegally downloaded scenes (shhh!) online. This is in addition to throwing a substantial amount of my money, time, and spoons into seeing it live. I produce at least three events a year, and that's a slow year and a conservative estimate. I am a renaissance soul, and I am as passionate about spirituality and the career it has provided me, about literature and my dreams of contributing to the literary world, and social justice activism--but nonetheless, theatre is a driving force in my life.

Three years I did five shows back to back, with no break whatsoever, and in fact, prep for 2-4 at a time overlapped significantly. By the end of that final event, which I loved and was so proud of, I was crying almost every day. Everything set me off. I was at max capacity stress level. I was barely scraping myself together for tarot clients and my day job (which I have since quit but that's a different story for a different day), and I wasn't writing at all because I was spent. I was also the second sickest I have ever been. My arthritis wasn't flaring up so much as I was living in the first flare-up that happened in that time for months on end. My PCOS was out of control and there were days I could not keep water down. Yet I was up, working at least 15 hour days between theatre and my other obligations EVERY SINGLE DAY. It was absurd.

So I stopped doing anything but Gadfly. For a really long time. And this past year, Gadfly didn't do any mainstage work until last month, so after this much time not directing, getting back into two projects in a row (that, then One Minute Play Festival) felt exhilarating. It felt like I was me again. I cried Sunday night after 1MPF ended because I was so happy. I even went out with afterwards, had an amazing time and felt almost no social anxiety.

So what changed? First of all, 10/10 recommend taking a break when you need one. If you're making connections, doing good work, and pleasant to be around, contrary to what you think in the heat of it, no one will blame you from stepping away from your field for health, mental health, or any other reason. (Family! Travel! Because!) Your field is probably not steeped in totally unreasonable assholes, and if it is--well, maybe you need to talk to yourself about that. It is so important to take care of yourself and your work, regardless of your field, will suffer if you are crying every day and driving yourself to literal sickness. So take a break. Get some distance. When you start missing it--go back! As SOON as I told people I was interested in both performing storytelling and directing theatre again, things started to trickle in. It takes time to rebuild, but you are not rebuilding from nothing. You unfortunately also will not be building QUITE from where you left off, but somewhere in between is not the worst thing to happen, and if it's gonna save you your sanity or physical health you HAVE to do it.

Time and space were not the only difference though. Unrelated--or so I thought, I went on a big self-care, physical and mental health...quest, I guess? In theatre, and I am not slamming anyone personally because it runs so deep in that culture, it is considered bragging rights to have had the least sleep, to have not had time to eat in three days, to not have friends outside of the show because you don't have time. Everyone goes out and gets drunk together every night, and cures their hangovers with coffee and jumps right into it again. While I know people who navigate this successfully, I did not. Many close to me did not. After some time away and learning to listen to my body, I didn't run into these problems this go.

Of course I ran on less sleep during tech and shows the past month. But I supplemented with water, getting to bed as soon as I could, eating when I was hungry, and finding even five minutes every few hours to sit and do something unrelated--read an article, read a book, journal a fun quote someone said, play Pokemon Go. You need breaks in your day when you're working that hard. I'm no self-care expert though I've come a long way, but what this past month made me realize is this:

You can have your passions and your health.

There's no life hack, magic trick, or prescription to provide both to you though, as both are journeys and take work. There isn't a secret metaphysical ritual we're holding out on you about. But you can listen to your body and your soul and adhere to their requests--and that's pretty much all most spellwork is anyway.

Take a break. Take a breathe. Take your life back. You'll still meet your goals.

Until next time, Blessed be.

I Stand With Black Lives Matter

I live in Minneapolis, MN which most of you reading know. This is close to where Philando Castile was murdered by cops. This happens way too often in this country and while the events in Dallas are tragic, that sniper was in no way connected to the Black Lives Matter movement and does not change the fact that black people and other POC live in constant fear for their lives in our country. The protests and solidarity marches happening nationwide are largely peaceful, with violence breaking out usually either due to police action or because of outside agitators with their own agenda (usually white anarchists who end up fleeing the scene, leaving POC and actual allies to clean up their messes and take the brunt of the blame). Black Lives Matter has but one agenda: for the police forces, court systems, and wider government at large to start treating black people like people. I am heartbroken and devastated that no matter how many black lives we lose nothing changes and so many will still chalk it up to something not racist or blame the victims themselves. Castile was revered in the school district he worked. People trusted their own families with him, he had no record, he had a hero of a partner who stayed brave in the face of his murder and her own bullshit arrest. But those facts shouldn't matter. No one deserves to die for busted taillights, for selling CDs or cigarettes, for holding a toy gun. No one. I am angry. I am heartbroken. I am praying to every diety that will listen for change (though I am taking action and supporting protesters as well) for Castile to be a tipping point. But it isn't about me, and I don't want to center my voice. So please check out these links-this very special edition link round-up.

From Black and POC Writers:
Where does a healer's anger go? A must-read for fellow witchy types.

How to Process Your Emotions but Skip the White Tears.

Fact based articles and livestreams.

28 Racist Reactions and Behavior (and how to overcome them)

A QTPOC roundtable over at Autostraddle.

Poetry. Because art is important.

From Allies:
Girl Boss Woo puts so plainly into words what I've been trying to express to other solopreneurs.

Important to understanding how infrastructure helps white people at the expense of black people and what we mean when we say that.

Actual facts and stats on actual disparities.

For Donating:
As a white ally, the number one thing you can besides getting out and putting your body and yourself on the line is donating either supplies or money for bail and protest needs or to help victim's families get or stay on their feet. To donate supplies, see where a protest is happening near you. Ask what they need. I know in the Twin Cities bug spray, blankets, and extension cords so the revolution can continue to be broadcast from someone other than mainstream media, so start there if you have no ideas. Otherwise, here are the funds for bail or victim's families:

Minneapolis/St. Paul bail, legal fees, etc. fund for activists.

Amo Mohamed's bail fund. A very important organizer and voice in the movement.

Lavish Reynold's (Castile's partner) Go Fund Me.

Baton Rouge Bail Fund.

And finally, a (respectful, non-dismissive) giggle:
?????????

Until next, Blessed Be. Oh, also this.

Quickie Relationship/Crush/Friendship Check In

Relationships are tough, but so much of the advice I give ends up advising people AGAINST overanalyzing and thinking things to death. There are several spreads to check in with various relationships that are 7-10 cards (or more), but often what "solves" the problem is a quick, sudden insight, so I designed a simple, four card spread instead. This way if the issue is a simple one of communication, insecurity, or decision-making, we trust our intuition and cut to the heart of the matter. It looks like this:

Lay down the spread in this order: 1) Your left, 2) your right, 3)center top, 4)center bottom

The spread is so simple, as promised. The two on the sides represent where each party is in general in their lives. The one on your left is YOU and where you are right now in life. The one on your right is where the other party you're inquiring about is. This placement is important even when dealing with a soul mate, twin sister, or someone you're building a life with, you are still dealing with two individuals, and advising as if you are one entity can do more harm than good and open the doors to co-dependence and a host of other not-helpful behaviors. In addition to showing where each party is, the sides also show what aspects of yourself, your identity, and your individuality you are bringing into the relationship the strongest, for better or worse.

The card on top is where the relationship is currently headed. This is the outcome if nothing changes. If it's a positive outcome, then sometimes knowing things are ending up well is enough to pull us through the slump. If not, then we use our final card, which is our card of advice, to turn the energy back to the way it's supposed to be, or to cope and communicate effectively to stay on track. If the current outcome is NOT desirable, then that advice card is obviously about how to turn it around to get a different result, or how to cope if the reading shows the relationship really shouldn't continue.

It should go without saying, but just in case, this spread can be used in ANY kind of relationship--if you're fighting with a parent, a boss, or a friend, it is every bit as effective. I've done several test runs, and it works out as often as my other favorites.

Enjoy, and please report back if you have any feedback or ideas.

Blessed be!

June 2016--Halfway Through Another Rollercoaster Year

My Northeast Night Market setup. (Ignore the rope--we had to tie the tent down!)

For someone who strives for balance and serenity, the past few years have had me all over the place in terms of the earthly events and external energies I was working with. This June was particularly tumultuous, and I am ready for a break! My queerplatonic partner lost their job through no fault of their own, all while we're house hunting to no avail (which is stressful in it's own right), and my rheumatologist put me back on two of my most loathed arthritis drugs at the same time. Certainly tumultuousness does not imply all negative things though, and for that I am grateful. I have three really exciting things to report soon, but in the meantime, here are some of my other June highlights.

• Theatre Life: Gadfly Theatre Productions, my heart and soul, put up a really wonderful geeky one-act festival on the theme "Heroes and Villains." Everything we do is through a queer and feminist lens, and I was particularly proud of how envelope pushing this year's was. If you missed it and want to relive it, here's some reviews I have mixed feels about but give you a sense of what both Set A and Set B where like. And check out these super cute photos from Set B rehearsals and outtakes.

Alyssa Perau & Cayla Marie Wolpers backstage of Set B/Armando Ronconi rehearsing on stage.

• Tarot Teamwork! Northern Lights Witch and I worked two events together this month to drum up new clients and get her name out there as a reader and reconnect with some "event" clients of mine. One we worked with another reader I adore, and unfortunately the event itself kind of flopped. Northeast Night Market however was a blast--and NLW and I had a hilarious beer-fueled night attempting to hand make signs for it even though we are NOT artists. Laughter + connection are so key when doing spiritual or social justice work though, so even if our signs didn't last the night was definitely necessary. I was also thrilled to work with two soloprenuer friends of mine for a fundraiser at one of my favorite bars. Finally, in case you missed my post, I rounded out the month by organizing a Metaphysical Pride booth with many of my favorite LGBTQ+ metaphysical practicioners reading with us or selling goods. I normally only do one to two events a month, often private ones I wouldn't blog about, but this month I really felt inspired to connect with other readers and new clients, so I got my butt moving and did so! I forgot how exhausting event life is, so I'm happy to retreat back now that the June event frenzy is past, but I have no regrets about putting so much of time and energy there this month.
• Taught my Queering the Tarot workshop at Eye of Horus--I had a small but good crowd, and fall more in love with sharing my material with others every time.
• Things I Wrote: Nothing substantial to report beyond my Queering the Tarot and it's reprints, but I was pretty fond of this spotlight on a local improv group I love too, especially since I got to see them live right before I sat down and wrote it.
• Other Things I Loved:
  • My friend anniversary with some dear friends took me to Northern Spark, an all nights art festival of lights that always has a bunch of really cool movement work.
  • Lake weather! Lake shores are where I basically live, weather and mosquito infestations pending, and it took Minnesota awhile to get there, but finally I can have my water, earth and strange critter assortment all at once whenever I have a free hour or seven.
  • The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats) was my favorite thing I read this month. I can take reading really seriously but this one let me goof off and just enjoy an hour of my day. On the flip side, Harvey Pekar and Joyce Brabner's Our Cancer Year broke my heart in all the best ways.
  • Arts and crafts night afternoon with a dear friend and her teen daughters, lazy days with my cats, Pssy Ctrl, and my temporary giant king bed all made my month even better.

One of my favorite pieces at Northern Spark.

In addition to all of this hectic but amazing (and the aforementioned less amazing, uber stressful stuff) I am also dealing with a ton of emotional stuff. It's mostly good--growth, change, blah blah blah, but it's been a wild 30 days. However, it's been a really great time to test myself, whether I intended it to be that or not, so I am excited to see where we head next. Hopefully I'll be reporting a wonderful new duplex and some major growth in several of my careers, and I know I'll have some grand or silly adventures to report on. In the mean time, feel free to snag some email readings or schedule and in person session, and until then,

Blessed be, my loves!

Pride Gets Witchy in Minneapolis

 Checking out Pride from the back, on a break from reading.

Around January I realized that I wanted a witchy, weird, whimsical presence at this year's pride, and if I couldn't find one, well, then, I'd spearhead one! So I reached out to some of my favorite LGBTQ+ metaphysical practitioners, and we all chipped in on a booth and took different shifts so no one missed all of Pride or was glued to our booth the whole time.

For those not from Minneapolis/St. Paul, our Pride is the last weekend of June and takes place in Loring Park. I have a few issues with it, including the price of a booth and how prohibitive that is to a lot of local businesses. We were really blessed to all be able to fill out a schedule and chip in accordingly, but not every queer solopreneur or genuinely allied goods maker can, so it's a little frustrating. Our booth went over pretty well though. We all met a few people who took business cards or signed up for mailing lists in addition to getting readings/buying crystals/etc. My favorite part was this fancy new sign my dear friend Kate made me! 

It was a really wonderful weekend, and below are the kindred souls who worked on my booth and have websites. I wanted to keep that cooperative loving feel going via shout outs! If you like my tarot or writing about it these are some great people to know of and buy from.

Intuitive Readers:
Chuck Kausalik-Boe is a fabulous Reiki healer, and gave me a Lenormand reading a long time ago that still helps me focus my dating pool down to only the people I know will make me the happiest. While I don't know this first hand, he's also rumored to be an amazing mentor and teacher--including by some of my own students.

Susan Lynx was actually a student of Chuck's when it comes to tarot, and I am definitely hitting her up for one of these magickal massages once I have some extra cash in my pocket.

Heather Roan Robbins couldn't actually make the event but she's really the best of the best, astrology and palm wise. Honestly.

Finally, of those with websites or Facebook pages, we have a blogger I really love who came in from WI to do my event. We'd never actually met but have been following for awhile and I'm so glad I finally linked up with Queer Street Tarot.

Jane Hawkner and Sweet D show off their goods!

Metaphysical Goods
The incomparable Eye of Horus proprietor, Jane Hawkner, came by both days to sell some of her meticulously wire wrapped crystals and some bonus goods from the store. I legitimately love where I read regularly and think the products created in house are absolutely stellar in our field.

New to the events and Etsy game but already pushing out top notch wire wraps and handmade leather goods is Sweet D. She also does a really rad candle and other such folk magick, so just reach out!

One of my very favorite herbalists joined us on Sunday--Sassafras Healing and Arts makes one of my very favorite joint and muscle salves, and I was thrilled they had such a blast. As a side, they also chased away some gross evangelisers that were trying to convert some of our readers while I was away, so now they are extra rad in my book.

AND FINALLY, shout out to Northern Lights Witch who's partnered with me on a few projects now--first Grand Old Days' Beer Dabbler, and the we both had a VERY successful turn at Northeast Night Market. She's gonna be in Norway for a bit but DEFINITELY keep an eye on her blog and especially the book club, which will feature yours truly later in July!

Thanks so much to these fine people, and thanks so much to you, sweet blog readers. Until next time,

Blessed Be,

Cassandra

Tarot For Anyone! A Quick Learning Trick

While I've been reading tarot for over a decade (weeps about aging forever) I still employ this trick every time I pick up a new deck, before I even look at the book or anything. Most readers do this, but lately I've been talking to a few super new on or still just considering a tarot path who get super caught up in "how am I ever gonna memorize this book?" The short answer is it takes time, but you will. Just dilligently work on it nearly every day for awhile.

BUT the great news is you can still find a lot of use in your cards by just looking at the picture, and gleaning what there is to glean artistically from them. This is particularly true for advice questions. "What should I do" is quickly answered by seeing what the figure in the picture is doing. "What's my next step" can be answered by looking at the picture overall--again, likely what the figure is doing, but there can be some other giveaways too. If you know symbols really well, animals featured could be giving you a sign based on your interpretation of those animals. Colors, runes, various constellations, etc. etc. could all be doing the same thing. Questions of "Who" can also be answered by going directly off the traits, attitude, or energy of the figure on the card.

For example, in the photo above, it's fine if you have no clue what the (fabulous) book from this Book of Shadows: As Above deck says about this card. It's easy to assess that you have some crystals poking out of the corner, some bright purple flowers, a gnome relaxing in their element. The instrument might stand out to you if you're a creative or especially musical person, and that beam of sunlight across the card has always struck me.

So if I had asked "What should I do about my financial situation?" I would assess based on the relaxed gnome and all the Earthly things blooming around them that I should just relax, because I had already put myself in a good position and news was coming. Or if I saw the instrument first, I would think that utilizing my creative talents for money was my next strategy. If I had asked a more spiritual question such as "What is my soul needing", some time around music, in sunlight, or possible some crystal or plant healing would come to me as the answers.

Another example so you can see how cards work together, is based off the above. (In reality the odds of this pair showing up together in a well shuffled deck is a little slim, but hey.) A question I've been grappling with lately is "What keeps holding me back?" and "Where do I go from here?" If I needed some basic guidance to these questions and pulled these two cards from my Prisma Visions tarot I would see that Skull, the word Emperor, and the cacophony of color around it. I would discern based on the animal that my own stubbornness was killing me, and from the colors that my mind was too scattered to make much sense of the things going on. Meanwhile the "Where do I go from here?" card shows a woman embracing the light, elevating herself, almost above the solid ground she's built. She is bright against a dark background. While with a seeker other than myself I might have trouble putting it into words, I think the image does speak for itself--look towards the positive, the light. Look ahead. The gold and yellow give us a strong sense of newness and freshness, and this would be about embracing and accepting the new.

Tarot is so frequently seen as this big, scary huge 78-things-to-learn process, but you can utilize the art and the keywords to provide yourself the guidance you need as you work on memorizing in more traditional ways. I'd love to hear more beginner's tips and tricks, and will for sure have more unfold over the course of this blog.

Until next time,
Blessed Be

My May Wrap Up! (A week late, but...)

Hello beautiful readers! Thank you so much for continuing to bear with me as my schedule and health make my posting schedule a little erratic. I'm really happy about those of you who have sought me out or have been keeping up here. SO here is a little bit about where I've been:

• I'm still watching this little guy (Parker) in this cute little yard and am for June too, which means...(UGH) house hunting time is upon me since the man who's house and dog this is will want his life back when he's back from Italy.
• I put together a one-act festival (with my business partner and our managing director, of course)! Which meant many silly prop adventures, rehearsal, tech, and now we are happily situated in performance mode. Check us out this weekend if you haven't!

Postcard image for my one act festival! Image by Edie Berry.

• Remembered "me time" and "QPP time" are essential to my well being. Game nights, afternoons reading in the yard, and many adventures in my favorite neighborhoods of the city abounded.
• Read at the Eye of Horus a couple times a week still. I love this store and my "work family" so much. A lot of us are having a really hard time and instead of being annoyed or getting crappy at our jobs like a lot of places I've worked or had steady gigs, everyone's looking out for each other. Plus my clients there are some of the smartest, realistically idealistic, life-affirming people I know. I've left more than one shift feeling as touched by my clients as I hope they are by me.
• This one adventure in particular where my friend Paul had a really bad day so we ended up getting kicked out of a bar (it's not as cool as it sounds--it was a stolen wallet/therefore no ID issue) that was really hilarious and reminded me how crucial belly laughs are for healing from crappy days.
• WTF Comics Club meant I officially stopped putting off Neil Gaiman's Sandman. This was a nice primer and I'm so ready to jump in now.
• I learned to etch glass and made glasses for Gadfly! They turned out so cute and I'm so excited about learning a new thing.
• GADFLY SOLD OUT A SHOW! This has only happened twice before, in smaller venues than this. But we filled Bryant Lake Bowl and even had to turn people away! (Including some good friends of mine, which I still feel bad about). It was our sporadic Drunk Queer History event where a drunk storyteller tries to teach about important moments in queer history, and then improv artists have to act it out based solely on the storyteller's take. It's the most fun and it keeps succeeding, so we're going to keep doing it.
• I SAW HEART AND JOAN JETT LIVE. IT WAS AMAZING. The concert was in Hinckley, and two of my very best friends (this super cute vegan married couple who run their own farm) and I made the trek and had a blast. I always adore Joan Jett, but Heart shocked me with how amazing the were live.

Me waiting for Heart in Hinckley. SO WORTH THE WAIT.

• THEN came tech week, which bleeds over into June a little, and is also why this is late. In addition to tech-ing FIVE shows, we also did a fundraiser at one of my favorite pizza places. To theme it to the shop and our festival, our managing directors brought little Batman mask cut outs and things. AND My dear friend Taylor let me play with these glasses, which gave us some much needed giggles.

That's basically it! I had some adventures, some quiet nights in (they were necessary), and I kicked two bucket list concerts and one "to read/to start reading" off my list in addition to my client docket, promoting a festival, putting together a festival, running a fundraiser, writing about arts and tarot and such, and taking care of three animals who do NOT get along. WHEW. I am so unbelievably grateful for the love people shared with me this month though. With my health the way it is, I honestly wondered if I could pull all of this off--then my friends started dropping off food, my company members started excusing me from rehearsals I didn't need to be at, and my queerplatonic life partner bought me a couple cute dresses and pulled more than the necessary weight to make sure it all worked out since it was my health on the fritz this time. I am dumbfounded by how blessed and loved I feel, and so, so, so grateful that the feeling overwhelms me and brings me near tears constantly. THANK you if you were a part of my super chaotic May, and if not--wishing you all the blessings I have found.

Finally, my additional reading recommendations are: any of Anna Bongiovanni's printed 'zines or collections, The Fairyland Series by Catherynne Valente (Finally finished the final one and literally cried for an hour because it was over. And because it was beautiful), and How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accent by Julia Alvarez.

Watching Recommendations: I literally only care about Orphan Black right now.

Until next time!

Blessed Be,

Cassandra Snow

Queering The Tarot: IRL Workshop

I'm so excited, y'all! On June 19th from 12-2:30 P.M. I am doing my "Queering the Tarot" workshop AND I'm doing it at my steady tarot gig, Eye of Horus. While I've done this workshop several times, I'm so pumped to be doing it in such a renowned environment that I love so much. If you're interested, here are the deets:

"This is a beginner-to-intermediate tarot workshop about reading for LGBTQQIAP+ querents (or as an LGBTQQIAP+ person.) The workshop examines how card interpretations and applications are different for queer seekers and encourages participants to think critically about how life circumstances, spirituality, and the institutions of our society that are present in the tarot are challenged by and challenging to people who are not both straight and cisgender. The workshop is part lecture, but also requires participation and critical thought among attendees. Queering the Tarot welcomes readers at all levels, but experience or basic knowledge of the cards provides a stronger platform for challenging tarot standards. "Queer" in this class is body and sex-positive, poly-inclusive, embraces non-binary identities and thinking, and is anti-patriarchy, and as such addresses the tarot's guidance on these ideas. Allies and queer tarot lovers alike are encouraged to come learn an alternative approach to tarot. Participants should bring a tarot deck they feel comfortable with, paper and pen/pencil, and an open mind."

Facebook event is here, and You can sign up here! Unfortunately, this class is only for people who live or can get to Minneapolis, MN. While traveling with this workshop or doing a telecast/webcast are dreams of mine, this one is in person, in Minneapolis.

Until next time,

Blessed be.

Your Magical Forecast For the Week + Where to Find Me

Hey Friends! I'm trying out something new this week, which is kind of the name of the game on this blog. I love doing deck and book reviews, as well as just general musing and blogging, but I want to offer some further insight into what the week has in store astrologically/magickally/etc. This way if you don't know what to get a reading about OR just want to know how to make the most of your days, you'll have some extra input.

As a reminder, we start this week with our five planets still in retrograde: Mercury, (the doozy), Saturn (pretty common--most of us effected minimally), Mars, Jupiter, and Pluto--which is still a planet astrologically, even if science has abandoned it :P This means communication could be difficult or even miserable at this time, so certainly readings about interpersonal communications and/or how to communicate most effectively are a marvelous idea. Another great idea is spending some time figuring out how to use this energy to your benefit. It's a great time for introverts to answer some bigger picture questions, and depending on your how astrological chart it could be a positive time for soothing old feuds or finishing projects that you've been postponing.

The biggest thing though, is spring in general. Even with the planets being a little wonky, this is always a good time to clean out your closet/purse/friends list, and that in and of itself can be an act of self-care or magick. Additionally, "Spring Fever" hits many of us pretty hard, making it a prime time to connect with Mother Nature and exercise our bodies, which again, can be an act of self-care or magick in and of itself. It's also a prime time for carnal and sensual connections, so sex magick and relationship readings are aspected well.

The Moon starts the week in Cancer, so if you feel a little emotional or your inner knight-in-shining-armor starts screaming to save and take care of everyone, take a breathe and assess if these are genuine feelings rooted in something real or if it's likely just the moon. This does make these next couple of days great for those who are caretakers, starting relationships, or craving bonding moments with others. The Moon moves into Leo on Thursday, so get ready to attack some of those unfinished projects with vigor, and spend some extra self-care time on your appearance. Any haircuts, makeovers, or fitness goals are aspected well at this time. The END of the week sees the Moon in Virgo, assuring all that caretaking and throwing yourself into finishing projects is doubly well aspected for you over the weekend.

AND if you're all pumped and ready for readings in ANY line, you can find me:

At Eye of Horus Monday and Wednesday 3-9
By email on a 48 hour turnaround all week.
By appointment private appointment Thurs-Sunday.

Blessed Be,
Cassandra

No End of Month Wrap-Up for April

Hey All,

Just wanted to drop a quick note about the slight blogging hiatus. I've been really sluggish lately, and at first it was easy to chalk up to my depression, until I noticed I didn't feel depressed. I felt tired. Really, really tired. Then some other weird things happened, and long story short my thyroid is out of control right now. I love this blog, tarot, witchery, writing about it all--but I need the rest of this week and some of next to recover, and by then April will be long gone. Suffice it to say, things did turn around for me, and I love where things are headed.

You can read about queer tarot by me here and here. You can read some writing from a new friend I made here. You can support my tarot biz by ordering an email reading, making an appointment, or visiting me here. You can support my theatre biz by grabbing tickets to this, this, or marking your calendar for this.

Until next time, Blessed be.

Please send healing energy in the meantime! Much love to you all. Enjoy this gratuitous photo of my cat.

Magick Doesn't Have To Be Candles and Chanting

Last Full Moon, not this one, I was preparing a bath for physical healing and gearing up my playlist for emotional healing, my intended spellwork a simple deep breath and succumbing to the water and music. As I let the steam rise and Cher belted out "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" it occurred to me that when people starting an alternative spiritual path tell me they don't know where to start, they're likely already doing so many amazing things that already are "magick", "spellwork", or even "prayer." So this is a completely non-comprehensive list for mystical newbies of all the ways you can "start practicing" by simply noting or more purposely intending the things you already do. It's mostly meant to get your brain jogging.

• I already mentioned music--if there are songs in any genre that get you in a clear headspace, amp you up for your next project, or make you feel confident, or sexy, or grateful, sit and actually listen and take them in when you need to conjure that.
• Food! I am 99% sure that most of you reading eat at least a couple of times a day. Try planning a few meals a week super intentionally. I'm not talking about super advanced kitchen witchery which can feel intimidating, but try thinking about what food makes you feel healthy, confident, or connected to others and plan your meals around that.
• Dress more intentionally. Most people do dress somewhat intentionally for the day, but you can go something extra and mystical to your morning routine just by taking a couple of minutes to think about what you're putting on. If you're trying to attract wealth, are you allowing yourself to wear your "nicer" clothes with any regularity? Because you probably should be. If you're trying to attract love, are you wearing clothes that make you feel sexy and confident? If you're trying to heal your body are you wearing clothes that are comfortable, airy, and allow for movement? You can amp this practice up if you know color coordinates, too. Red not only helps with love and sex, but may make you feel confident and passionate about your presentation at work, for example.
• Home decor! Feng Shui gets a bad rap, in part because no one in the Western world really knows what they're doing. However, the ideas are solid and it stands to reason that the colors, shapes, and memories attached to the objects in your home make you feel a certain way when you see them. So much of my own Paganism is rooted in stone work but you don't have to keep crystals around--any tokens that make you feel confident, healing, and inspire you to manifest the things you want out of life should be visibly placed in your living space.

Those are just a couple of ways you can dip your toes into the endless pools of mysticism (and a few examples of how). Feel free to add your own below!

Blessed be, y'all.