theatre

A Real Witch In The Rehearsal Room: On Setting Intention and Deep Breathing

It’s 6:00 PM and actors are arriving from terrible traffic, plodding through snow banks and the stress of their day jobs. I am asking them to come in after the sun has already set in Minnesota. I am asking them do more work, learn lines, work their bodies, and connect with other humans in the three hours that stretch over what would normally be dinner time for a lot of us. As people trickle in, we start laughing and chatting. If someone seems particularly on edge someone else pulls them aside to check in. It’s often me but after a couple of weeks together, it’s often not. Once we start working actual pieces from the play, there are expected setbacks but nothing catastrophic. People are having fun & enjoying this.

It isn’t always like this. Magick & theatre are both dependent on a solid cast of collaborators and sometimes all of your best intentions fly out the window if other people don’t get along or if you’ve overlooked a problematic element of the show or even a cast member due to your own privilege. The best laid plans slip away sometimes because of weather, illness, or a slew of other uncontrollable factors. Sometimes you as a project leader will cling too tightly to your vision even if it doesn’t best serve the show because that’s what you were taught to do by bad directors before you.

Not all, but so many of these things can be mitigated by bringing your spirituality into your creative space. My spirituality is eclectic though largely Pagan. In my cast are a Christian, a Satanist, another Pagan, and some people who haven’t disclosed their spiritual beliefs. That means you’re not exactly going to set ups specific spells, rituals or prayers before each rehearsal because you want the whole team to feel apart of it. These are some of the things that help me set a healing space before rehearsals:

  • Like in Magick, Intention matters a whole hecking lot in art. I always have:

    • An artistic intention for the show

    • A healing or spiritual intention for the show

    • An artistic intention for rehearsal that day

    • A healing or spiritual intention for that day

  • In addition to having my own intentions, during warm-ups for rehearsal I always have everyone close their eyes for a second and set their own intention for our time at rehearsal that night. I also close each rehearsal with a question for everyone to ponder that, ideally, will help them set their intention for the next day.

  • While everyone is setting their intentions, I ask those who are physically able to take a few deep breaths. Deep breathing is crucial to resetting your body, clearing your mind, and generally BEING IN THE MOMENT. At the start of a rehearsal process it allows people space to feel and clear out anything that would get in the way of a good rehearsal.

  • Being in the moment. I don’t ask my actors to leave their anxiety, trauma or stress at the door the way a lot of directors do. (Though I do ask artists with white privilege, cisgender privilege, able-bodied privilege, etc to think how their emotional reactions might hurt people with less privilege.) I DO ask that artists bring that stress into the scene and use it if they don’t want to/can’t check it at the door. I ask that they work with those emotions and that energy, and I work to make sure we’re all living in that moment. This means that sometimes that outside stress of traffic jams and snow plows DOES melt away. Sometimes it means that a scene is fueled by an actor’s rage at white supremacy or patriarchy. The play comes out beautifully either way.

    My experience as a witch has taught me that control of my breathe (when possible), setting intentions and doing the work to manifest my spellwork ultimately get me where I want/need to go. Those same principles apply wonderfully to theatre or any artistic practice—especially when you’re working in a group. I used to work incredibly hard to seperate my art life from my witch life. One day I realized that was cutting myself short in both worlds and since allowing the two to blend, my work has never been the same.

    Blessed be y’all!

Where I Am Now: January 2018

Hello all!

If you missed the social media announcements, you probably still figured out that I gave/am giving the blog a little hiatus. Some of it was because I really am not happy with the quality of work I was putting out. I really love the Multi-Passionate Diaries and I really love when I get personal about tarot and spirituality (IE my Reclaiming Hestia post). It's important to me to share links that say things I wish I'd said or are just neat, and important to keep myself accountable with end of month check ins. Everything else I just felt meh about. No inspiration, no drive to complete anything. So I am still on a little bit of a hiatus, but wanted to do a beginning of the year/big news/where to find me check in since there is a lot of buzz happening in my hive.

For starters...I got a book deal!

I'm so ecstatic to turn my Queering the Tarot series into a book, but that does mean things like blogging take a bit of a backburner. I suspect I will be much more present on my own blog once my draft is turned in. I have LOVED finishing up this series and working through re-writes. My book won't be out until early 2019, and I will certainly keep you posted about specific dates and other important info. In the meantime, you can always catch the latest article in the series here or here

I also just agreed to be the in house reader at my friend and client Dominique's website about managing bipolar disorder, Take Your Pills! I'll be doing a monthly reading to help you anticipate and handle any mental health quandries that come up throughout the year. There will be a mini interview and bio about me going up in the next couple of weeks, and then right around the first of every month, the reading will drop. I'm sooooo excited to give this series to those who need it. As someone with a laundry list of mental illnesses, this is an area I'm very well-versed in reading cards for and about, and I'm thrilled to share that side of my work with you all. Furthermore, Dominique's writing about self-care and her honesty about her own bipolar disorder are groundbreaking, and I'm THRILLED to be part of it.

That's my BIG news but there's some other cool stuff going on too. As you can see, I updated this website to show off some of the teaching and coaching adventures I've been getting into, as well as encourage other businesses, organizations, and individuals to bring me in to teach tarot or small business/solo entrepreneur/freelance skills. If you want to catch classes already slated, you can head down to The Future tonight for a Sex & Tarot class at 7 or sign up for Tarot 101 for Creatives in February. I LOVE these classes and I love this space, so 10/10 would recommend. You can also catch rare short readings from me at this beautiful, healing event (for queer women and non-binary people only) on the 20th. I adore reading for GirlPond events, and Northern Lights Witch will be reading also if you want ALL the queer readings. 

I am, of course, still reading tarot cards and witching it up all over the Twin Cities. I have in-person appointments available if you e-mail me or go through this website's contact form, or e-mail readings available here. I'm excited to start another year reading at The Eye of Horus too, where you can make even in-person appointments online. I'm also doing some really fulfilling arts journalism over at The Column still. I was so excited to talk about Bi-Lesque, a burlesque show of all bi+ performers most recently, and you'll see a piece about the Minneapolis Art Shanty Project soon too. 

My theatre company is working hard too--our March mainstage play is about trans identity and mental illness and how they overlap. I'm "just" producing and so happy to see my genderqueer business partner work with an all trans and genderqueer cast for this. To raise money for it, Sober Queer History is happening at Steamship Coffee in Minneapolis on January 28th, so if you love queer art, come on down. If you want to support queer art but don't live here or that date doesn't work, check out our GiveMN which allows your donation to be tax deductible. 

Things I'm still looking for this year:

  • A regular tarot or witchcraft column at a major publication (online or in print).
  • More teaching opportunities!
  • Storytelling, other big writing gigs, and miscellaneous arts, writing, and witchy gigs. 
  • Cheap adventures! (Or enough money to do regular adventures!) 
  • Obviously more Gadfly Theatre donors and audience.

If you've got any idea or thoughts about any of that or have a gig to offer, let me know. I set a lot of big intentions for the year PLUS I already know I have a book getting ready for publication so I'm in for an exciting year and a half no matter what. I'd love to amplify that with more of the work that makes my heart sing though, so here's my open call to speak with me about any appropriate opportunities.

Before I go, here's some quick recommendations of things I've read/seen/gotten into lately:

  • Books: My Favorite Thing is Monsters by Emily Ferris. Modern Tarot by Michelle Tea. We Are Never Meeting in Real Life by Samantha Irby. 
  • Movies: The Shape of Water. Ladybird (Yes, I'm among the millions who loved it)Coco. And of course The Last Jedi. This is actually one of my favorite Star Wars movies of all times. 
  • Decks: My Next World Tarot by Christy C. Road is one of the only things in the world I really, truly care about at this moment in time. 
  • Miscellaneous: I got a SodaStream for secular Christmas and honestly it's such a game changer. I like putting lemonade (which is usually WAY too sweet AND too sour for me) into it with just a small splash of simple syrup. I'm obsessed. It's one of the only other things I care about in the world, truly. Other things that have delighted me lately include the card game Bears Vs. Babies and watching House Hunters International on Hulu and daydreaming about other lives I could live if I really wanted to. 

That's basically it, y'all! This is where I've been and what I've been working on. I'm so grateful you all came along with me in 2017, and am even happier to have a great 2018 full of whimsy, witchcraft, and art with you. To keep up while the blog is on semi-hiatus, check out my Instagram for (almost) daily promotional readings, my Facebook or Twitter for real time updates on where to find me, and my newsletter which sometimes has exclusive offerings and free monthly readings. To support this blog or any of the other tarot or writing I do for free, here's my PayPal.me link.

Until next time then, Blessed be!

A Staircase to Nowhere + A VERY Cute Lab Puppy (September Check In)

Autumn along the Mississippi River. <3 

Autumn along the Mississippi River. <3 

Happy October Everybody!

This is my absolute favorite month of the year, as it is for many witches, and I am ecstatic that fall weather has finally fallen upon my large mid-sized city. I went for a walk along the river starring crunchy leaves yesterday, and I comfortably drank a hot coffee outside today. Bliss.

It is incredibly strange to be writing a “September in review” post when I actually can't talk about a lot of what's going on in my life yet, but rest assured, in the upcoming months I will have beautiful news to share! In the meantime, I have a big announcement post about a series of classes I'm doing at Eye of Horus hitting next week. I can also let all you Pagan art lovers know that my next theatre project includes you! It's a queer, feminist retelling of the Holly King & Oak King myths. We go up in December. Head over to Gadfly's website for more! Other than that...welll...here's the abbreviated info on what I can share about how my September went!

  • Tarot Life: My Sex & Tarot class wasn't such a big hit on a Saturday night, but I did get to spend an evening at The Future helping a tarot lover unblock her energy where cards were concerned. I still taught her some spreads on improving her sex life, so it was all around a successful evening. I have been working hard on “fall semester” classes coming up. You can still catch me on Instagram with a nearly daily tarot reading to cut through the muck of your day too. I read for LOTS of really beautiful people this month, especially at the Eye of Horus, where I'm still slinging cards Sundays & Wednesdays.

  • Theatre Life: In addition to gearing up for & casting the aforementioned The Crown of the Holly Queen by Eli Effinger-Weintraub, I produced one of my favorite Drunk Queer History events to date. Lisa Marie Brimmer is a beautiful, wonderful soul & storyteller who was more than happy to get on the far end of tipsy and teach us about ball culture, growing up in the Wisconsin Dells, and Bayard Rustin. This was one of my favorite theatre months in recent history. I deeply loved everything I was working on and feel sufficiently amped up about the rest of the year too.

  • Writer Life: I wrote some stuff I really love this month, namely this piece on Reclaiming Hestia and this review of local play Ex-Gays. I'm going to be completely honest though. This was a really hard month for someone with Avoidant Personality Disorder to be a writer. I had countless pitches rejected and to be perfectly honest I'm used to shooting and scoring where writing is concerned. I feel really defeated in this moment. I have to remind myself that I have a steady writing gig and big things are on the horizon though, because all of that is true and I am so blessed. Stay tuned for more on that, and know this: it is all worth it. I absolutely love everything I do, even when it feels really, really hard.

Keep reading if you want this photo to make sense

Keep reading if you want this photo to make sense

  • Non-Work Life: What a fun month otherwise! Since my Two Harbors trip last month I've been intentionally making space for fun and for peace. The outcome has been unbelievable. I planned one hell of a birthday for my favorite person in the world. This was also the month where I decided a fun Instagram game was “How much fast food can I eat on the beach?” and it's been a blast. I generally eat healthy but when I have a craving for junk food, I purposely end up on the beach. I honestly crack myself up about it. My queerplatonic partner and I love empty playgrounds almost as much as beaches and riverfronts, so we ended up at a few of those goofing off. I saw some really awestriking art this month, including two shows by Patrick's Cabaret that took my breathe away. If you are in the Twin Cities, really, really check something out by them if you haven't. I'll end this section on this: Target has the weirdest line of masks this Halloween season. They look and feel like very low budget Furry masks and I am kind of living for it. We acquired this Unicorn one as part of the QPP's birthday, but honestly, the whole line is hilarious and absurd. Go check it out.

Recommendations: I finally read AJ Jacobs The Year of Living Biblically and Allie Brosh's Hyperbole and a Half. I was so surprised by how compassionate and spiritual TYOLB turned out to be. HAAH was what I expected, but what I expected was absolute hilarity. I couldn't stop laughing, and as a mentally ill person a lot of that came from what I related to. I also recommend late night walks with your favorite people, the new It (such good scare moments!) and helping your best friend paint their restaurant. All of these things filled me with immense joy this month. Finally, while everyone is talking about it, I cannot recommend The Good Place enough for sit-com lovers. I've always loved Kristin Bell and Ted Danson, but this “What is good? What is heaven? Oh wait, what is hell?” is brilliant and dark in ways I didn't expect.

I promised you a very cute puppy. This is Vanna. She came to my apartment to meet cats and be in an apartment. She is a service dog in training that a friend is fostering. I. Love. Her.

I promised you a very cute puppy. This is Vanna. She came to my apartment to meet cats and be in an apartment. She is a service dog in training that a friend is fostering. I. Love. Her.

That's a wrap on September! Hope you are all enjoying the bona fide sweater weather & scary movies we've been waiting for all year.

Blessed be, y'all.


 

 

I am the Leslie Knope of Friendship + Here's a bunch of rad links for you!

Hello tarot lovers, witches, and other friends reading!

Yesterday was my queerplatonic partner's birthday. The party is on Saturday and their preferred restaurants had NO dinner reservations available. If you know Parks and Recreation at all, you'll recognize my friendship tendencies if we ever become close. While when it comes to business I relate much more to ambitious, confident yet well-balanced Donna Meagle, when it comes to friendship I get a littttttle too eager when I love you. So I called the restaurant. Twice. Begged to be put on a waiting list. Thought of six different ways we could approach this without reservations. Then managed to find reservations at another one of their favorite restaurants that we haven't been to in awhile, which they are just as happy about. So crisis averted, but this plus present-wrangling is why my link round-up is two days late (because of course there was a bag full of thoughtful presents, a dinner, + we haven't even gotten to "party day" yet). Also I didn't do one last month and I'm sure I had my reasons. I just don't remember them. The good news is that means this one is nice and fat for you!

For Tarot Lovers, Witches, And Other Spiritual Types

  • Little Red Tarot posted this "Ring of Fire" spread back in July, and while summer is OFFICIALLY over (WOO HOO!) this spread is still wonderful. 
  • Tarot has been around for a loooong time, and this is a really fun piece about the evolution of its' artwork with some funky pictures thrown in. 
  • I'm always fascinated by people who create witchy, spiritual lives somewhere totally unexpected, so I was all about this profile of a witchy hairdresser!
  • I feel personally called about by this article from Cosmo, actually. How your Sun sign acts as a romantic partner. 
  • I love this from headline to final exclamation point: A Thinking Person's Guide to Going With Your Gut. 
  • An oil diffuser blend for whatever Mabon wonderfulness you have going on tonight. 
  • Now that she's covered the basics of the Celtic Cross spread, Theresa Reed's already amazing "Breaking Down the Celtic Cross" series has really gotten amazing. These are really thrilling things she's talking about if you're a total tarot geek like me. 
  • Another amazing spread--this one from Worts and Cunning Apothecary, zeroing in on business success for ya. 
  • "In order for full, meaningful healing to take place, we cannot turn a blind eye to the injustices that live in the fabric of our human society. Sure, in the eyes of the universe, all spirits are equal in their love, light, and importance. But we don’t live in the realm of spirit." Such a good post from Bitchy and Witchy about Calling in the New Age on issues of oppression. 
  • I was researching for my Sex & Tarot class when I found this gem of a human and article about Sex and Eroticism in Tarot. 

For The Resistance

  • Because publicly screening queer porn is resistance in and of itself.
  • Have I mentioned how much I love The Bold Type? (Yes, I have. Because I do.) Here's eight great responses to one of the show's most loved characters from queer Muslim women. 
  • Oh, in case you didn't know, "history" is incredibly straightwashed in addition to being totally whitewashed. 
  • A simple, easy to follow guide to not drawing sexist nonsense in comic books. 
  • I Can't Be Your Gay Friend
  • Bitter Gertrude's take on the Charlottesville rally as a Jewish person well-versed in intersectionality was really well done. 
  • New Hero Alert! This wonderful man runs a queer film festival in Uganda, where homosexuality is illegal. 

For Your Business

  • Empathy is actually very, very good for your business. Red Slice has more.
  • Also thought to be harmful but maybe not? Procrastination
  • You're probably working way too hard. I generally agree with anything Susan Hyatt tells me, but this one hit me way too hard. 
  • VERY useful article about maximinzing your Patreon, friends. 
  • SO somehow I had never heard of the 70% rule, y'all. If you struggle with delegation because it seems easier or better to do it yourself, this one's for you. 
  • Relevant to my life right now: Seth Godin on the difference between having fear and being afraid. 

For Theatre Fans and Art Lovers

  • Really good work by American Theatre Magazine here, examining an impending leadership vaccuum and what that means for theatre.
  • Julia Cameron doubles down on why we should write every day, and y'all. She's not wrong. 
  • Not quite theatre but a little too nerdy for casual film and television fans. Here's Ava DuVernay discussing Netflix, artists, and diversity. 
  • Antigone in Ferguson examines the divide between law enforcement and the communities they SHOULD be serving. Would absolutely LOVE to see this piece.
  • A hecking free book on building arts audiences. I'm only halfway through and have SO MANY IDEAS already. A must read for all producers/creators/etc. 
  • There are so many conversations about what type of protests work and which don't. Some of those conversations are crucial. Some are garbage, tone-policing nonsense. Playwright MJ Kauffman's commitment to boycotting certain theatre companies and being willing to talk about why are crucial. 

Just Because

  • "I Talked to 1400 Strangers About Their Sex Lives. Here's What I Learned." 
  • These Guidelines for a Kinder Life are not what I expected, and are some of the best I've seen:  "Being emotionally uncomfortable won’t kill you.
    It just feels that way sometimes. Like any state of being it will pass. Honor your discomfort. You’re being changed by what you are witnessing. That’s one reason we keep dipping ourselves in the salty experience that is a human life."
  • An important reminder from Alexandra Franzen: Hearts Can Change.
  • How To Break Up Like A Poet is life guidance, literature, and so much more from Edna St. Vincent Millay.
  • Inside the Death Positive Movement. Super great read. 
  • A beautiful piece on food, manners, and culture. 
  • A CARMILLA MOVIE TRAILER OKAY. 
  • A very succint piece for those of us who love self-help books, but, like, not all self-help books. 
  • Messy Nessy Chic is always such a fun blog with unique stories--like this one on Women, Warriors, and Wine or this one on trans soldiers during the American Civil War. 
  • I absolutely adored this article on Viking culture and living like the women of Viking literature. 
  • Do you know that I am both obsessed with high profile unsolved crimes AND a giant Tupac fan? So this article on the upcoming Who Killed Tupac? was perfect!

I'm gonna end on this really moving piece from Danielle LaPorte: The First Step to Take When You're In Hell. 

Blessed be, y'all!

Multipassion Diaries: The Incredibly Boring Secrets To My Success

In which I take pictures on the river on a day off.&nbsp;

In which I take pictures on the river on a day off. 

I am writing this blog at 3:37 PM. By 3:37 PM today I have already seen actors auditioning for my December play, queued up social media for my tarot and theatre business, and pitched three articles. I've e-mailed clients, and now I'm writing this. I'm also seeing a show tonight that I'll wake up in the morning and review. On paper, I pass as fairly productive and successful. Yet I stay relatively chill, which causes a lot of people to ask me how I manage three careers so easily. To which I respond: I don't manage them easily. Ha! I'm stressed out all the time! I have like four different anxiety disorders! Only two are work related but still!

I digress. Easily or not, I do manage those careers and have fun in between. So I do understand why people ask me how I do it or what my secret is. Unfortunately though, when most people ask me that they seem to be looking for magick and wisdom, some miracle or pearl they can hold to. My answers are...um...not the most satisfactory.

  • I sleep as close to eight hours a night as my body will let me.

  • I don't let myself get distracted during a work session by fun social media or my cats wanting attention, but I do take breaks to nurture those things. I cut my work day down by over 90 minutes a day when I stopped checking Facebook every ten minutes. That's 90 minutes of good cat cuddling time I was wasting every day, y'all.

  • I take my meds and drink lots of water.

  • I do something for every career every day.

  • I also do something fun and something for self-care that isn't just “food and meds” every single day. Every. Single. Day.

  • I eat when I'm hungry.

  • I keep my apartment fairly orderly for focus reasons.

  • I keep a paper planner with to-do lists at my side when working. It's old-fashioned and boring. It also works.

  • I take days off. Wild and innovative, I know. But this stack of comic books isn't going to read itself, and what am I supposed to do—NOT go to the beach when it's super nice out?! Psssh.

I can't believe I was losing 90 mins a day with these guys to Facebook. Which, hilariously, is also featured in this photo.

I can't believe I was losing 90 mins a day with these guys to Facebook. Which, hilariously, is also featured in this photo.

Look, the reality is I don't have kids. I do lose entire days to sickness, but still manage to get a bare minimum done on those days. Not everyone can do that. I also have an incredibly supportive group of friends and family. They are all also part dreamer, part doer who own restaurants, run Reiki businesses, and make lots of of art--so they get it. All of that means that in the grand scheme of things, I'm incredibly blessed in flexible time and having support. My life is probably not manageable with kids, and it certainly was not manageable before I was on proper meds for my 9,000 chronic illnesses. Certainly I have had bad family relationships and incredibly toxic social groups, and you know what? I didn't realize it then but my careers suffered greatly in those times. By sheer stroke of luck, my circumstances allow my careers to flourish and that's the harsh reality of success sometimes. Don't beat yourself up if things take you longer because of other dreams you had, mistakes you made, lack of support in your life, or really anything else.

Regardless of those extenuating factors though, the way I manage multiple careers is by taking care of myself first, my loved ones second, and my careers third. It's not easy and anyone slinging you expensive, magickal surefire tracks to success online is probably lying to you. The path to loving your life, including and especially your work life, isn't easy but it is doable. (Please note: Placing career third doesn't mean you don't do stuff. I work anywhere from a six to a fourteen hour day most days, with my average being around a standard “eight.” Taking care of career third means taking care of it.)

To summarize: If you're juggling multiple careers and a whole life outside of that, how do you ensure success? Allow for it to happen over time. Don't rush. Oh, and take care of yourself first, your loved ones second, and your careers third. You'll get where you need to go.

Happy August, Kittens!

An example Lammas/Lughnasadh altar

An example Lammas/Lughnasadh altar

Hey All!

Just a friendly witchcraft reminder: today/tomorrow (it varies per person who celebrates) is Lughnasadh or Lammas, the first of three harvest festivals this year. This sabbat is best used for: showing gratitude for the intentions you set for the year that ARE harvesting, and cutting/breaking old bad habits. With that in mind, I'm especially grateful for my adventures and shenanigans this year, an increased client docket + writing gig docket, an upcoming Gadfly event at one of my fave venues in town, and the two classes I'm teaching this month. What do I want to cut out or break? IMPOSTER SYNDROME. It's been 32 years. It's time to end that shit. I do cool things all the time, and the years I lost where due to PTSD and untreated chronic illness so why am I beating myself up for not hitting my stride at 25?! I've been trying to manifest confidence without ridding myself of the reasons it's blocked, so what a great way to focus my energy this Lammas!

In truth it still feels like it has been a rough year. That is a different post for a different day. Today, as we enter Lammas though, I am grateful for you, your support, and my life in general.

Now, here's where a solid work ethic, a deep lust for life and need for adventure, and witchcraft took me in July (and what they brought back to me!)

Me &amp; my cards at Minnehaha Falls. Photo cred to Taylor Dobson.

Me & my cards at Minnehaha Falls. Photo cred to Taylor Dobson.

TAROT LIFE

  • I'm still SO excited in gearing up for my Queering the Tarot class at The Future and my Sex & Tarot class at The Smitten Kitten. Solidifying and prepping for that has been a big chunk of my July but it's so, so worth it.

  • I saw a necessary and wonderful spike in e-mail readings in July. I'd love to keep that going, so I'll just politely leave this link here.

  • I'm still at the Eye of Horus from 11:30-6 on Sundays and 3-9 on Wednesdays. I've been so happy (and busy) the past couple of months, so I'm strongly suggesting appointments if that's where you prefer to see me. If you prefer coming through just my business, that's great too! I'm reading Thurs-Saturday & Monday 1-6 P.M.

STUFF I WROTE

  • The big scary thing was that I once again edited my storytelling piece about getting my period at a fancy, sterile-clean dinner party and performed it at The Big Fat Comedy Hour at Lush! This is one of my favorite shows and venues so I was terrified. I let my Avoidant Personality Disorder “win” a lot, and I'm glad I told it to shove it for this gig.

  • New Queering the Tarot stuff as per usual! Here and here.

  • I stepped back into my Multi-Passion Diary this month, talking about endings instead of beginnings. A lot of the focus of that Diary is what I'm working on NOW, what's happening NOW, and that's great. Closing an art gallery somewhat unexpectedly left me fairly introspective though.

THEATRE LIFE

  • I was a little tired from closing the gallery, so I mostly just answered e-mail and stuff...but in reality that means Gadfly is SO SO close to announcing our fall shows (and maybe already did if you're on our newsletter. Muahaha.)

  • I've also been doing this Queer Improv Jam at Huge Theater. It's such a welcoming group of people to play with. I love it so, so much. I definitely recommend a jam in your area or this one if you're queer and in the Twin Cities. No experience necessary, only participation. 

A still from Freeform's "The Bold Type," recommended below.

A still from Freeform's "The Bold Type," recommended below.

RECOMMENDATIONS

  • My favorite writer is probably Catherynne Valente, and I acquired and gobbled up her Refrigerator Monologues so fast. It combined the prose and general brilliance of Valente with underrated and de-powered female characters from comic books. It's a quick read and holy wowza, it's a good one if you're into comics or fighting tropes like, at all.

  • I really thought I would hate the board game Secret Hitler. I don't know why. I love board games. I love secrets. I love dark humor in my fight against fascism. Luckily those things won out--it's really fun if you're a board game person.

  • I have The Bold Type fever--it's on Freeform or Hulu, and I'm completely hooked! If you love magazine industry, girl squads, or good old-fashioned relationship and career drama, this one's great. Part of the reason I love Supergirl so much is because it's an optimistic antidote to everything "edgy" right now, and as of now The Bold Type falls into that too.

Beautiful new secret spot near my house that I discovered with my sister.

Beautiful new secret spot near my house that I discovered with my sister.

OTHER SHENANIGANS

  • I've always known one of my best friends in Minneapolis has a pool for use at his apartment building, but I don't think I really UNDERSTOOD how beautiful that makes summer until the past couple of weeks.

  • Nothing makes you appreciate the large mid-sized city you navigate every day like having someone come from out of town. My siblings are my favorite people on the planet other than my queerplatonic partner. Hands down. Some people identify as a mom or a dad or a loner. I am, and have always been, and will probably always be a Big Sis. Still, life is life and I don't get to see them nearly as often as I'd like. So the best nights of my 18 year old sister and I's week long adventure were her curled up on my couch geeking out about Harry Potter and bonding over deeper stuff with me. Yet the kid got me up hiking, sight seeing, going to the beach, shopping, and eating out every day and I was exhausted by the end but wouldn't trade a second of it. We also went to Milkjam and ordered the “All of Them” so that was pretty great too.

  • TINY GOAT ADVENTURE. A farmer's market in Minneapolis had baby goats we could snuggle, so I called up squad and we snuggled SO MANY BABY GOATS. FOR SO LONG. It was the best evening.

Yeah, like I would talk about tiny goats and not show you one.

Yeah, like I would talk about tiny goats and not show you one.

That's it for me this month friends! I hope your July was sunny and wonderful, and I hope your August is even better. I've got an action packed one that includes press credentials for a major theatre festival, the birthday of one of my dearest friends, another dog-sitting adventure, annoucing half of a theatre season, finishing my next e-book (come hell or high water!), teaching two classes, and a trip to Duluth to sit in or near the lake and actually breathe. I'm hoping and praying it also includes ordering this tarot deck and seeing Stevie Nicks in concert, but we'll see how things play out. Send good vibes for me though, and you'll get lotsa great Instagram pics of both! 

Blessed be y'all!

 

Better Late Than Never!

Hello all,

I am back for this blog's monthly Link Roundup; admittedly I'm about a week late but it's for a very good reason. My 18 year old sister came into visit from Ohio! She is the cutest, sweetest little human and I cut my workload down to "need this money now" work. I missed doing my other stuff though, so next time I'll get it all queued up before I have a visitor. 

Out adventuring with my Sister. Had to show her my river :)

Out adventuring with my Sister. Had to show her my river :)

Before we dive in, TWO quick announcements! People are getting excited about both of the workshops I'm doing in August which is getting me all kinds of excited (but also nervous). The first is a revamp and remount of my Queering the Tarot workshop at The Future on August 17th. The other JUST officially announces is a brand-new (but still totally in my wheelhouse) Sex & Tarot course at The Smitten Kitten! Luckily for you, Queering the Tarot is sliding scale starting at just $15, and Sex & Tarot is FREE to you! Which means you could potentially take two radical tarot classes that weekend for just $15, and that actually seems like a pretty sweet deal to me!

Now, on to radical things OTHER people are writing and doing! 

Politics & Resistance

  • If you want a quick breakdown on what's going on with that BS Department of Justice statement that LGB people aren't covered under Title VII, Autostraddle has you covered.
  • There's some pretty important legislation being discussed about the non-profit sector too. It's easy to be overwhelmed right now, so this was easy to miss. 
  • A Lithub personal essay/book review about being torn between queer and Southern identity, plus the books he covers sound like important reads too.
  • Why IS Hyperfemininity Expected of Fat Girls? This one practically garnered applause from me.
  • I should probably just have a permalink list somewhere to all of Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha's writing, and her Bitch articles have been on point lately. I especially loved "A Modest Proposal For a Fair Trade Emotional Labor Economy (Centered By Disabled, Femme of Color, Working Class/Poor Genius)". 
  • On Black Lives Matter, Queer Identity, and Appalachia. 
  • Lisa Frank Body Positivity is not as cool as it sounds. This is a good read though.
  • Prison Reform is one of the most important issues to me that never gets talked about. The way our society dehumanizes and traumatizes inmates, many of whom are in for minor crimes or no real reason at all, physically makes me ill. This piece talks about the juvenile system and why it's reform is a necessary queer issue. 

Tarot & Witchery

  • This has been shared around a bit in metaphysical circles, but just in case you missed it: "Astrology of the Stonewall Riots" is as cool as it sounds. 
  • Asali Earthwork regularly blows me away with her writing and witchery. This month I bookmarked both her review of The Personal Space Tarot and this so-necessary piece about mental health and witchcraft. The review is a really great example of a review and discusses tarot and the deck in depth. The personal piece spoke to me so deeply and is every bit as brave and beautiful as the title suggests. As a bonus, head over to her shop and snag some tea because it is delicious.
  • Dior is making Motherpeace Tarot inspired clothes now, and Vogue has the scoop! I completely nerded out when I saw this. 
  • "See the cripple dance" is ALWAYS one of my favorite Little Red Tarot columns, but this one on the Seven of Cups hit really deeply for this PTSD-trodden, chronically ill queer.
  • Also from Little Red: a super easy, informative guide to snagging the best crystals for spiritual fatigue.
  • I'm never going to stop posting about representation in the spiritual community and why it matters. I'm also never gonna stop linking back to radical writers of color highlighting the issues better than I ever could. 

Writing & Business

  • I love peering into people's personal work processes, and Benebell Wen's look at promotional tactics, what worked, and what didn't was great insight with useful information AND things that won't work for everyone but were still fun to read.
  • In Minneapolis everyone has a Prince AND a Bob Dylan story; in any case Seth Godin went somewhere I didn't quite expect with this one
  • This really applies to all types of writing and made me laugh a lot. Here's "How Not To Write A Play."
  • Y'all know by now how much I adore Theresa Reed, especially her "Soul Propietor" series. This one on how you want to feel in your business is especially good. 
  • A cute cartoon about job and gig hunting that everyone should see. It'll take you four seconds but it's good!
  • I talk about "Money Dates" a lot and how they've changed my life and both of my businesses, but it never occurred to me to share this primer from Bari Tessler herself with you. So...here you go!
A picture of Sir Didymus to break up the monotony of text.&nbsp;

A picture of Sir Didymus to break up the monotony of text. 

Theatre & Art

  • "A Collective Call Against Critical Bias" is a wonderful start to important conversations about arts criticism and where we drawn the line, and features goodies like: "As female artists and academics…we have dedicated our careers…to dismantling discriminatory structures and practices in theater, and the criticism this year is so blatantly prejudicial that we felt compelled to collectively author an editorial that both documents the problem and puts it in an historical context."
  • There's a new series at the Twin Cities Arts Reader entitled "The Curmudgeon" about all the ways arts organizations are NOT actually helping the press help them. It sounds heady but it's actually really easy to access information about how to market shows better. 
  • I was so happy and surprised when I saw my friend Shannon on one of my favorite blogs today. Shannon runs Uprising Theatre Company, is a fantastic writer in his own right, and oh yeah, is a transgender Priest
  • Sometimes the title does the talking for us, like in "The Necessity of Diverse Voices in Theatre Regarding Disability and Difference."

All The Other Things I Love and Thought You Might Too

  • I was obsessed with Poison Ivy as a child. No, not the Batman character I'm still in love with, the other one. The movie starring Drew Barrymore. I guess I wasn't alone and this revisit from Dazed was written wonderfully. 
  • Andi Grace gets real at Little Red Tarot about what she's been through lately, and tells us what she's learned living in a van about boundaries and letting go. This one was truly beautiful.
  • One of my biggest flaws is that I'm a jealous friend. I will love you deeply and unconditionally. I will want nothing but the best for you. I will also be unbelievably jealous and feel incredibly stupid voicing that to you. So I was relieved to find an actual good article addressing this jealousy and it's roots.
  • An oldie but a goodie came back up in my feed the other day--an absolutely side-splitting teardown of Goodnight Moon. 

That's it for me y'all! Blessed be.

Multi-Passion Diary: Well, I RAN An Art Gallery

Hello all!

I'm still working and hammering out what I want this column to be, but I think for now it's both a good place to find out about other solo entrepreneurs and the balls they're juggling while exploring some personal blogging too. Today felt like a more personal day for one big reason: I just closed an art gallery.

Now, for those just tuning into my blog perhaps for the first time, in addition to doing tarot and writing I run a theatre company called Gadfly Theatre Productions that does queer and feminist work. Sometime last year we started aching for our own space, and it turns out, a good friend of mine decided to buy a restaurant, which means she needed someone to take over her lease at a popular small art gallery. The space was ideal for rehearsals, staged readings, and open mics. It was a wonderful creative found space for our mainstage shows. We got to rent out the space for low cost to other marginalized artist and I always felt so good and aligned handing out the door code to renters. Gadfly made four really stellar events of our own in the space, and we partnered with other creators to make their dreams come true too. Longtime Gadfly fans had an amazing time knowing where to find our provocative work.  Gadfly is meant to be a theatre company that has four walls. (I tried to make a pun here about the fourth wall. It didn't work.) My business partner and I are meant to run a space. 

My cutie pie business partner and favorite human goofing off as we cleaned up the space one day.

My cutie pie business partner and favorite human goofing off as we cleaned up the space one day.

So no one was more surprised than us when we decided to shutter it suddenly in late June, with a move out date only two weeks later. The "what happened" isn't important for the purposes of this blog, but the whole sudden move out process moved around a bunch of stuff in my soul, and these are the reminders and lessons I felt fit to share. 

  • Holy wow, stop and take stock of your growth once in awhile. Manny (my business partner) and I just kind of decided to get a space, and then one fell into our laps. There's a whole bunch of spiritual sentiment wrapped up in that too (manifesting works y'all), but the main takeaway was this: For eight years Manny and I have worked almost every day creating work for this company. We have worked hard, and we have rarely complained about how hard we work at this for as little money as we do. We don't even really get that exhausted doing it. We love this company. We love theatre itself. We love the love and community our work creates, and we loved moving that into a space. So it never occurred to us that paying bills in the space might be hard (we had one hiccup but it was otherwise totally fine.) It never occurred to us that scheduling snafus, managing events we didn't produce, and a whole list of other things might drag us down (it didn't). We worked hard and steadily, and when it felt right we moved into a space. As I was moving physical objects out of the gallery I realized how silly it was that we never took a moment to be proud of ourselves for such a huge step forward.

    It's a big deal to successfully run a space and create the relationships we did. I don't think I ever would have realized that without such a sudden move out, and it's an incredible reminder to look at how I've grown in the other areas of my life. I have two steady writing gigs, a steady tarot gig, and my writing and readings get better every day. I'm teaching tarot now. I mostly buy food I have to cook at the grocery store. I listen when my chronically ill body is screaming for a break. I have open, painful but real conversations with friends and family when they hurt me or I hurt them. There are so, so many ways I have grown exponentially in the past couple of years. Yet I have never fully stopped, looked around, and said "Wow, good job me" until after the gallery move out. Everyone reading--once you're done, think through where you were a year ago and where you are now. I promise you've moved forward. Congratulate yourself on growing. 
     
  • Know when an experiment is over. A year ago I was SURE I wanted a space for Gadfly to call their own in. I didn't. What I wanted was to find out if we were capable of running an arts space. I wanted to know what that would look like artistically and fiscally. I wanted an experiment. I figured that out pretty quickly upon moving in after a couple of fiascos with keys and doors being unlocked. Now? I am 1,000% positive that I want a space for Gadfly to call their own--but it took realizing it was time to step away from THIS space at THIS moment in time to realize that A) this experiment was successful, but it's over, and B) I was absolutely right about us needing a space to run. There are lots of reasons to do big, audacious things with your life. Do not convince yourself that each bold step is THE step or is meant to last forever. Sometimes an experiment is just an experiment. Your job is to know when it's done. 
     
  • Know when something is and is not for you. I can not stress this enough. While it seems like Manny and I act fast sometimes, we never do anything without at least three in depth conversations and a night or two of sleep between each one. We think through every detail, every pro and con, every possible outcome to our so-called hasty decisions. The biggest thing we weigh is "what about this are we meant to work with, and what are we meant to let go of?" A lot of letting go of the gallery came down to this example (which was one of many factors in the decision): we are a wildly inclusive company, but the bathroom in this building was down a flight of stairs. There were days my arthritis was so bad I would buy a $6 coffee next door so that I could use their bathroom and avoid stairs. If the artistic director of a company can not use it's restroom, that is not acceptible, accessibility-wise. This means people in wheelchairs, with mobility issues, or have to use a restroom urgently and suddenly could not comfortably come to our shows. This was a huge problem, and my guilt over the situation increased as our popularity in the space grew. So running a space is definitely for us. Running a space without easy restroom access is not. 

    This lesson can and has been applied over other areas of my life even since shutting down the space. Certain kind of client questions are not for me, and I can refer them to someone else when they come up. That doesn't mean I'm not a superb reader, it just means I know I'm not best suited to some questions. As much as we hate to admit it, a lot of our happiness does come down to the choices we are making. I am in no way shutting down how hard mental and physical illness, societal oppression, or actually toxic situations make our life. Please note I said A LOT of our happiness comes from our decisions, not all of it. My advice for ANY choice is to get super clear on what works for you and what doesn't first.
     
  • I would also add to the above note, especially since I did mention external pressures and pain: know when you're making a choice. Full disclosure? We did have some expected funding fall through, and that was a factor in making the decision to close the gallery. It was not, however, THE decision making factor.  Shutting down the space was 100% our choice. We had enough resources and renters to keep going, and it was an incredibly hard decision to reach. One message that keeps coming to me spiritually is one to own my choices, and acknowledge when I am able to make one. In all of my careers it is sometimes easy to feel like things have been thrust upon me, but that isn't the reality nearly as often as I would like it to be. Usually I am given a choice. Figure out what the choice or decision is, and be aware you are making it.
     
  • Be grateful. Be grateful. Be grateful. This gallery, started by a dear, dear friend of mine was incredibly special. I met my current group of friends that I see the most and consider the closest there, long before it was mine. I fell desperately in love, and then harshly, quickly, angrily out of love in this space. It has been an unendingly vocal space about shaping my art and my life. I created really magical artwork there, and so did so many other fabulous people. I am sentimental to a fault and I had a three day sadness spiral about the space dissipating. But now I'm just so ecstaticly happy that I got to be a part of it and a curator for it, even for the small space in time that it was. There is a not an area of my life where I can slack off on gratitude right now--and that alone, is more than enough reason for the gratitude itself.
     
  • Look ahead. There is so much New Age philosophy about staying present, and it's not wrong. Until you can look around and enjoy where you are, you probably aren't going to move forward in leaps and bounds. However, the way you close an experiment is by looking into your actual future. Gadfly is building a proper, working board of directors and otherwise taking it easy for the year outside of producing events. In approximately one year we'll start looking for a semi-permanent space. If those plans weren't in place before we made this decision, who knows how long we would have waffled or if we would even have made the right decision. There is no use staring into the future and hoping for better without enjoying the work you're doing to get there. There's also no use in pretending the future doesn't exist. 

That's it for me and the Multi-Passion Diary today y'all! Sending so much love and light until next time.

Blessed be.

Peace Out, April!

Easter cookies received as a gift to help usher in a new season and era!

Easter cookies received as a gift to help usher in a new season and era!

A month is not inherently bad, nor does it cause pain on it's own or without provocation. In fact, April has brought me a number of highlights and joys we'll break into in a minute. But it also brought me these things:

  • A phone so broken it wouldn't even turn on and a phone company insisting on a pretty high payout to do anything about it or turn a new one on.
  • My queerplatonic partner getting extorted for money without any evidence or proof over something that happened over a year ago and getting verbally abused in the process.
  • A tax bill I wasn't quite ready for. (This one is, admittedly, on me. Lesson learned.)
  • AND A mystery illness that is forcing me to get a neck/throat ultrasound this week and sending me to specialists. I can barely eat. It's....awful.

I spent the entire month near breakdown point in spite of friends and family helping out every time they could and things otherwise going swimmingly. Things thawed out towards the end, but I had to catch up putting together a community garage sale & one act festival, running a tarot business, and writing deadlines. It's been...a lot. Even so, I'm very proud of what I've accomplished in my career and the adventures I did squeeze in. Such as:

  • Tarot Hits: I acquired a Mystical Spiral from Lo Scarebo that is not my normal hyperqueer, feminist fare but is so delightfully absurd that I adore it. In actual tarot business life I'm working on TWO tarot e-books at the moment. It is my fondest, greatest wish to get a quick, popcorn take on Queering the Tarot out this April. I've got a bigger project that's more of a workbook on learning tarot the storytelling & art theory way that I'm slowly chipping away at. In the meantime, I LOVE the Sunday shifts I've picked up at Eye of Horus, the clients I've seen at my studio, and seeing my student pool grow so much this month. I'll have a couple of classes to announce soon which is VERY exciting. I also had the very distinct honor of being featured on one of my utmost tarot hero's blog as well.
  • Stuff I Wrote: I had a wonderful time at my steady writing gig, including this review that breaks down why casting cisgender people in transgender roles is stupid and goes into ways NOT write a trans character in the first place. I've officially queered all the wands of the tarot too. Right now the King is only available at The Column, but will be dropping into Little Red this coming month.
  • Theatre Kid Chronicles: Not a ton to report, but I'll be blogging about June one act festival a lot over the next couple of months, I'm sure. My company is running a huge community garage sale tomorrow from 8-2, so if you're in the Twin Cities, come on down to the Fox Egg Gallery!
Rocking this theatre kid life with my biz &amp; queerplatonic partner.

Rocking this theatre kid life with my biz & queerplatonic partner.

  • Reading & Watching Recommendations: I think this was technically May, but there's a recent episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine that seriously addresses the intersection of being black and a cop. It is so so good. I read much more than I zoned out to the TV for this month. I devoured the most recent Saga graphic novel. I also maybe cried or something over it. I dunno. I read Unholy Night, a semi-horror retelling of the three wise men tale, and it was really silly but weirdly gripping.
  • Other Adventures: MAYBE my best friend's oldest kid hid a bunch of bananas around her house and I went to help her find them, only to have my queerplatonic partner turn around and re-hide them all. Maybe. I also went to a bunch of really great live shows: a comedy show at Lush run by my friend Sarah, a flash theatre project at Patrick's Cabaret, and a modern retelling of Prometheus Bound were all super exceptional.  My favorite was a night featuring Venus DeMars and a slew of A-List Minneapolis performers raise money for The Aliveness Project called Last Call. It was beautiful from start to finish. I ended the month with my best adventure for it--checking out the new Lotus restaurant in Uptown and ending up walking around a Thai New Year's Festival where I got blessed by monks (the bracelet they gave me went right on my altar) and got to hear some great Thai music.
Lanterns for luck at the Thai New Year Festival I ran into.

Lanterns for luck at the Thai New Year Festival I ran into.

That's pretty much it for my April. I had some beautiful moments, but am not sorry to be into May which has already been amazing so far. Wishing you and yours a month of laughter and brightness.

Blessed be y'all!

On Lizzo, River Walks, and Gearing Up for April

The river is rushing, wildflowers are starting to bud, and my eyes won't stop watering. It must actually be full-on not-a-joke-this-time Spring! Normally autumn is MY season. Fall is when I come alive, when I feel my dieties working with me, and when I get excited about the year's transformations in my life. That's still very true—nothing like an October chill to reinvigorate me—but this Spring feels really fresh and exciting to me too. As we jump into warmer weather, here's how I spent my March when I wasn't here:

A beautiful Spring day driving past a beautiful spot in Minneapolis.

A beautiful Spring day driving past a beautiful spot in Minneapolis.

 

  • Tarot Stuff: As some of you reading have already discovered, I have picked up Sunday day time shifts at my beloved steady gig, The Eye of Horus! I'll be there from 11:30-6 on Sundays in addition to evenings on Wednesdays. In more mundane news, I've started using my Modern Spellcaster's deck in readings, and I've gotten into a lovely e-mail reading groove with a few of you too! You can find out more about my e-mail readings here.

  • Writing Round-Up! I did a major big kid writer thing this month—I applied to not one but TWO emerging writer's grants to finish a manuscript for a memoir about finding laughter in traumatic circumstances. There's also some Queering the Tarot action here and here, and a profile I got to capture on a poet I just adore here. I'm also working on a second e-book for y'all. This one is a little more substantial but I hope to finish up this month. You can grab my first, a mini e-book about using tarot for healing here.

  • Theatre (and beyond): Oh, you know, just performed improv and front of people for the first time, thus finishing my improv class with a bang. Plus a Drunk Queer History my company organized, a mainstage show I directed, and I dunno, something about us getting a grant for our summer one-act festival. Keep up to date by signing up for Gadfly's mailing list!

  • Life Outside of Work! (That's a thing, sort of?): I managed to have a really spectacular month in spite of having three careers, two of which required grants due and one which I produced multiple major events. Most notably, I ended the month at a Lizzo concert with three of my very best friends, brought to tears at a hip-hop show for (I think) the first time. The show has me mulling over self-love and what loving your body truly means. I adore my mind, and I'm a genuinely kind, sweet person and love that deeply about myself. I'm also incredibly fun. Yet for all of my body and fat positiviy and attraction to women and genderqueer people of ALL sizes actually loving my body the way Lizzo raps about is so hard for me. She has completely re-inspired me to take on self- love exercises to help me get there though

    • Favorite things I read: I started the month by breezing through Neil Gaiman's accessible, fun take on Norse Mythology. I got super sucked in to Murakami's weird world again with The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. I devoured Fisher's Princess Diarist and Mara Wilson's Where Am I Now in approximately a day and a half each. That's a lot, I know but it was a really good book month!

    • Favorite Things I Watched: I went to see King Lear at the Guthrie, not for research or review but just to go. This was the first time I'd gotten to do something like that in a very, very long time and the show was wonderful. The eye gouging piece of the play was SO well executed, and the rest of the show was pretty great too. Alternatively, Manny and I also binged Season 1 of Supergirl in about a week. I am completely obsessed and dying to get my hands on Season 2 even though it's still happening. I saw Get Out in the movie theater and OH. MY. GOD. Even with all the rave reviews I was surprised by how good it was, because it's that good. I don't even like scary movies but I'm raving about this one still. As just a guilty pleasure thing, I've also been watching Trial and Error on NBC. I love John Lithgow and this one is really silly and fun.

    • Other Things I Loved: Manny and I have spent several afternoons or evenings walking along the Mississippi River just chatting about ourselves, art, and the river itself. I'm so overjoyed that we're back in “hanging out near water” season and these escapes have helped my mental health so, so much. Now that it's warming up, if you're physically capable and live near a large body of water—go! What are you doing reading the internet right now?!

One more view of the river before we head out for today!

One more view of the river before we head out for today!

That's it for me and my theatreific, booktastic, Supergirl-swamped March! Please tweet or Facebook me about your own adventures!

Blessed Be, y'all!

Theatre + Internet = My Entire March So Far!

Hello all!

I've been on a bit of an accidental blogging hiatus lately--tech week last week really took it out of me, and the only breaks I had were spent tiredly staring at my computer catching up on Autostraddle and other faves (and watching Penny Dreadful. I'm so in love with Eva Green.)

The good news is twofold! One) And Then They Fell by Tira Palmquist is up, running, and wonderful so far. You can grab your tickets here! Two) THIS IS THE MOTHER OF ALL LINK ROUND-UPS. SO much internet the past few weeks, y'all. Get ready.

Just Because: My friend Anne says smart things about women, theatres, and museums here. ~I love reading about Diane Arbus, and this article goes pretty deep. ~8 Female Surrealists Who Aren't Frida Kahlo ~ Sometimes I forget PostSecret exists, and remembering is always the best present to myself. ~ Nerdy fan theories about Steven Universe ~ A really in-depth piece about the soundtrack to My So-Called Life. It's worth the length, I promise. ~ A very cute, informative comic about puppy play (NSFW!) ~ I fell pretty deep into this article about Kudzu. ~ Women who changed science forever ~ Some stuff about Pluto as a planet (or not) ~ Daria turned 20 Y'all. ~ Sex ed falls short sometimes ~

How to Life Better: Something every chronically ill, anxious, or exhausted person needs: an At the Very Least List ~ Being Relatable Online ~ Some solid sales advice ~ I love Seth Godin. A lot. ~ Making a perfect speech ~ Please don't cancel ~Some deeper self-care options ~ Wasting money on your business? Whoops. ~ Someone in your life toxic? The solution might be waaay different than you think. ~ I love this!

Notes for the Intersectional Queer Feminist Revolution: Sex Workers and Activism <3 ~The Trash Heap Has Spoken is one of my favorite things I've read in probably a couple of years. ~ A photo essay of femmes and genderqueer POC. It's SO good. ~ Africa's First Female President! ~ On Britain and queer immigrants ~ Decolonize Your Science Reading List (so much added to my "to read" list!) ~ An interesting read on being gay in Colonial America ~ Raising a trans child in Texas ~ Unprecedented change requires unprecendeted self-love. ~ Teen Vogue, Moonlight, and Queer Black Men ~ ~ A tech boost if you need help with an eating disorder ~ Making peace with food (even when you hate your body) ~ Eight Native Women That Are Badass (a paraphrased title) ~ Jeanna Kadlec's Must-Read on Allyship ~ Sexism and Sickness ~ Keep having those hard convos in small towns, y'all. It's working. ~

Tarot, Witchcraft, Etc.: When Spirituality Sucks ~ The Tarot Lady gets so beautifully personal here ~ I LOVE this series at Briana Saussy's site and this one really made me dig deeper into The Emperor. ~ Anarchy, Feminism, and Goddess Energy with the writer of one of my very favorite books ~ So, um, Venus is in retrograde for a bit yet. ~ More on Venus moving backwards here ~ You should be following this short, easy but rad tarot series ~

Theatre Nerdery: Gender Parity in Theatre (An Overview) ~ Don't Write Checks You Can't Cash ~ Moonlight got it's start on the stage, and this piece about that is wonderful. ~Eleven Tropes I (and Bitter Gertrude) Could Not Be More Over

 

That's all, y'all! Blessed be!

Multi-Passion Diaries: What a Life in Theatre Has Taught Me About Running a Tarot Business

Welcome to what will hopefully be an ongoing series here at the blog! I think effective blogging has to come from a place of sincerity and vulnerability, and in the spirit of that, this series honestly came to me one night when I was having a rough go of trying to figure out where (if anywhere) I fit in and what communities I felt rooted in. That's the true challenge, in my opinion, of being someone with multiple careers or even one career and really significant passions or hobbies outside of that. Time management for things like deadlines and getting things done has always come easily to me. I run on pure passion for the things I love to do. I can't imagine not running Gadfly. I can't imagine not occasionally performing, directing, or otherwise working on productions outside of Gadfly. I have no idea what my life would look like without tarot and I don't want to know. Then there's my writing—while I'm often able to tie that side of my life into my work in art or with the metaphysical, I have so much more as a writer to offer and my dream life looks like hilarious yet PTSD fueled memoirs and novels as well as tarot series and books and regular art reviews and syndicated columns. By all accounts, I'm making the build to that all work and finding spurts of success along the way.

As this series moves forward though, I'll send those who want to write for a guest spot some questions to write around. One of those questions is: “What is the biggest challenge that comes from running your metaphysical business while also creating something else huge in your life?” For me that answer is that this multi-passion life is actually a little bit lonely. I have my hands in several different fields, so I never feel fully connected in any. Furthermore, because of ongoing self-esteem issues I deal with as well as social anxiety, I perceive a lot of pushback when I try to dig into the social side of any of the communities at hand because I'm only there half the time. I'm not theatre enough, or witch enough, and often I don't feel queer enough even for that community which is ridiculous because I'm gay and non-binary and who knows what else. I am probably imagining this pushback, but that is the challenge for me: the networking and figuring out the social side while also being so deeply in love with the work itself. I want most of my work time to be focused on work--and as a result, I end up feeling a little isolated or not present where I should.

*Deck featured is the Night Vale Tarot

*Deck featured is the Night Vale Tarot

Life with your hands in multiple pots certainly has it's benefits though, and that's the meat of this series. Here's a brief list of what a life and training in theatre has taught me about running my tarot business:

How to compartmentalize. My theatre motto is and has always been “keep the drama on the stage.” If you want the show to be good, nothing else matters in rehearsal expect rehearsing, and certainly nothing else matters during a performance. While I haven't found the metaphysical community to be overly drama-laden, that core idea of compartmentalizing has allowed me to give overwhelmingly deep, emotional readings to close friends, theatre colleagues, and neighbors without a hint of concern about what happens when they leave my studio. Just like I am ONLY a director when I'm in a rehearsal room, I'm ONLY your tarot reader or spiritual guide when you come in for a reading. The second we leave, you're my friend, my friend's partner, my co-worker, and it's like the hour of intimacy between us never happened. On your end, practice makes perfect here. Take on even one client at a time that you know or are close with, and really push yourself to keep the confidentiality you promise, be open in your session with them, and then just forget the whole thing when you're done. Energy cleanses are good practice too for this.

Trust your gut. This seems like something a professional tarot reader wouldn't need to learn from a different format, but trust me, when I started Tarot by Cassandra nearly a decade ago, I would see deep, earth-shattering epiphanies in the cards, and if I wasn't sure how the person would react I didn't read them. Not only does this not make sense as a professional psychic, but it strikes a deep contrast to my theatre training which tells me to make a choice and stick to it. Over time as my dual passions each took their own shape, I had to take bigger chances and leaps of faith with Gadfly—reaching out to scary donors, pulling in playwrights I idolize to work with us, and aiming for that dream cast every time. This definitively leaked over to my tarot life, and now I read what I see, no matter how poorly I'm worried it may be received. And you know what? I can count on one hand the number of times someone has gotten upset with me or been combative in response to my frankness. Always trust your gut—even if you had to learn to in a totally different way.

How to memorize quickly! While now I'm primarily a producer and director, for years I wanted to be the next Broadway actress. Reality kind of penned me down my senior year of college, but nonetheless, years of getting off book by the assigned date has given me a special skill when it comes to learning new decks or spreads quickly. Unfortunately there's no “real life” tie-in here—just a humble brag about my memorization skills and a shout out to a plucky, eager baby me who was always off book before the due date.

Social Media Savvy is key for both my tarot business and my theatre life, but I started Gadfly first. I've always been the default marketing whiz on our team, so I was the one researching Facebook algorithms in my free time and who developed our online campaigns. When it came time to start my own business then, figuring out which social media I was using and how was a breeze. I still get the bulk of my product buys from Twitter, social networking on Instagram, and in-person readings from Facebook, and I wouldn't know what fit best where without my start in Gadfly. The real life takeaway here? Learn your social media if you're using it to market. It will save your business' life. (Not into the internet at all? Check this out for other options.)

The show must go on. I read a lot of articles about reading no matter what you've been through—break-ups, family emergencies, health stuff within reason, but it's mostly a curiosity. I can't even list a cute or fun story about when I learned that come time to perform/read tarot/get an article done, you just do it. In theatre, opening night is no joke, and it doesn't matter if someone dropped out a week ago. You fill it in, and you go. In tarot, that means even when my chronic illness is a hot mess or my PTSD is acting up, it's weirdly easy for me to get in the zone. The best way to give that serenity to other is often with a mantra right before—it takes you out of the heartache/anger/anxiety clouding your vision and preps you for the session.

Overall, life in theatre has left me with one key life lesson that comes in handy when it comes to running my tarot business, my writing career, and my personal life all in one: breathe. While it was tarot that taught me to give up on the cult of busy (more on that at a later date), it was still theatre that taught me that if literal set pieces are falling down around you, you take a step out of the way and take a breath. If your scene partner doesn't show up on time, you take a breath. That breath is solace and comfort, and it refreshes your brain so you know how to improvise and forge ahead. A show has never been ruined because someone DIDN'T take a moment to release some pent up air and clear their head. A director has never fired an entire cast because they remembered to breathe. That lesson, learned early on, has stayed with me in all areas. If a client is arguing with me or my cards are legitimately cloudy, I take a breath and then see how I feel. If an editor accepts my proposal but has issues with my actual writing piece, I take a breath and then carry on a conversation about edits. I rarely will continue a fight with someone in my personal life without deep breathes and a clear mind. So no matter what passions in your life you're balancing or thinking on remember: breathe.

Blessed be, y'all!

Spring is Here--Sort of? Maybe? But March Definitely is!

While February is hands down my favorite month, I am elated every time March hits as well. My oldest younger sister was born in March, the mainstage work I do for Gadfly Theatre is usually in March, and while I like winter, the seasons changing in general tends to help me hit a reset button. Granted, this year the latter hasn't been quite the steady rise I had hoped, but everything else stands!

 

February was wonderful, busy and hectic, but wonderful. I'm still in the middle of putting together a mainstage show about queer homeless youth and victims of sexual abuse. It was my birthday month which took me out for Mexican food and my favorite drag show with so many of my favorite people. That Pisces energy is hitting me pretty hard though, especially in light of the New Moon and eclipse and everything else. My PTSD is having some issues, but I'm also working through some emotions positively too. I'm a lot more in touch with my sensitive Pisces soul than I have been in a long time. I don't feel the need to play tough anymore, and I'm ready for real again--real feelings, real relationships, real, deep love of all types. I find myself welling up out of joy and gratitude AND fear and sadness at least a few times a day, but I'm letting myself have and experience that even though I've been trying to shove it down for the past couple of years.

Other things I've been up too:

  • Tarot Stuff: I've got this really short but powerful mini e-book for sale. It hasn't quite gotten the attention I'd hoped for, but everyone who has snagged one has loved it--so maybe you want to be one of those people? I'm still down at Eye of Horus on Wednesdays, and come April I'll be picking up Sundays too! After letting a good friend crash with us for a few months because of some work hubbub, I have my at home tarot studio back! I also got to read for some of the absolute cutest, sweetest people this month, saw a small boom in my e-mail business, and am talking to a few potential students for my newly revamped coaching package. See my services page to grab your own slot in any of that! I also had new headshots taken! Wheee!
  • Writing Round-Up! I really love some of what I did on the blog this month--plus the aforementioned e-book. My favorites beyond that are here and here. Additionally, some Queering the Tarot goodness--the Ten of Wands and Knight of Wands on different sites showed up, as usual. I also got to highlight one of my very favorite artists and get more insight from what drives her. I also got to research, write, and explore the beginning and growth of ball culture in the U.S. for Gadfly's latest Drunk Queer History. Even though a drunk storyteller doesn't quite get word perfect, I was really pleased with how it came out.
  • Theatre (and beyond): In addition to the hinted at work above with Gadfly (see our site for more), I'm in a WTF improv class at Huge Theater right now. I was absolutely terrified and super caught up in "OH MY GODS WHAT AM I DOING?" But I wanted a foundation to improve my storytelling, the quick one-minute play style of theater I love doing so much, and even just to learn some new tricks as an instructor and director. All of that happened and is happening, but I, um, think I've been bitten by this improv bug I was warned about...
  • Life Outside of Work! (That's a thing, sort of?): Because this has been a pretty emotional month, I'm a little all over the place in terms of goals like "reading a book a week" and doing things like squad hangs, but I had a few fun adventures. My birthday party at Lush was one of the most fun nights I've had in months, and I'm so grateful for the people in my life and that Lush like, exists and does such wonderful LGBTQ+ nightlife.
    • Favorite things I readTell My Horse: Voodoo and Life in Haiti and Jamaica by Zora Neale Hurston has lots of rich myth and culture about the oft misaligned voodoo. It reads as easily as any of her other work too. I also devoured Octavia's Brood, a speculative fiction collection inspired by Octavia Butler, mostly writers from marginalized communities. 
    • Favorite Things I Watched: Moonlight winning the Oscar for Best Picture was SO SO important to me. And that's the part I choose to focus on. Swiss Army Man was even weirder than I anticipated. I loved it.
    • Other Things I Loved: My hair went even bolder in it's purple, blue, and teal glory this time and I loooove it. Two of my best friends are obsessed with these tiny hands and overly large hands and any time they get broken out to play it's a good time. I finally tried Glam Doll NE thanks to some birthday fun, and they have some unique to that branch flavors and this ridiculous couch (pictured below) that I'm in love with. My brother sent me this deck for my birthday. It's stunning. I also worked some pretty hardcore magick this month (hence the first photo).

I have big goals for March: one event is down, but I have And Then They Fell opening. I want to get a second e-book, this one a little more substantial up. I have a couple of new regular series that will hit. And I'm determined to make it to a few shows I'm not directly involved with, in spite of the time crunch. And I can't wait to officially add a few decks to my repertoire, mostly this week or next: the Fairy Lights, Modern Spellcaster's, and eventually the Slow Holler (right now I feel really personally connected to the deck and using it elsewhere feels weird, but I do know it well enough by now), to be specific. I'm also pretty interested in a web overhaul but not promising that within the month.

Until then, blessed be! Feel free to share your own adventures. Love y'all.

In Comes November

Unless you're here for the first time and know nothing about witches, you know by now that October is my absolute favorite month. This one was a little rougher than most, but in true October fashion it all came together and created a stunning bigger picture for the season and I am so happy with how it all came together. Here's some snapshots for the month as we move into November. I often forgot how lovely November can be too. This year I might have some fun semi-surprises going on in my personal life, and will have some events/press/etc. going on that I'll probably talk about here. Here's where October took me:

  • My Tarot Practice: took a bit of a hit this month, and after a real rollercoaster year in my creative life, I struggled to find spiritual and emotional centeredness, eventually getting there by the end of the month. I've decided to shelve my push to work events for awhile (inspired in part by this post), if not forever. I was shocked when that decision resulted in a new burst of individual client work, potential writing and collaborative opportunities, and a few exact ideal events (but not an overwhelming amount) cropping up. Sometimes you have to kill something that's been stressing you or bringing you down to achieve the greatness you know you deserve, and that's a core tenant of my life, yet I am always surprised by how quick that turnaround was.

    My tarot highlight of the month was reading at the anniversary party for the Eye of Horus--I had such a lovely time and got to read for a store regular dressed as Rose Quartz from Steven Universe! I love my work family so much. They have been so supportive of my tarot career inside and outside of the store and I really feel I've grown as a reader and a witch in ways I never anticipated when I nervously went in for my audition gig. I'm so grateful and so happy for such a celebration of their 13th year.
  • Things I Wrote: While I kept up with my steady writing gigs and am happy with the (sparse, few, but lovely) things I posted here, one of my best memories for the month (and year!) was featuring at Story Club, a local storytelling event in which I talked about one of my worst and least talked about trauma sources. The crowd was perfect and I feel such an intense relief--and an intense eagerness for more storytelling opportunities!
  • Theatre Life: GADFLY KILLED IT THIS MONTH. I am beside myself. Our first mainstage show at the Gallery sold out it's entire closing weekend, and in fact oversold one night (which was stressful in its own right, but the right kind of stress). In addition to that, we welcomed long-time queer art icon company Patrick's Cabaret into the space for regular events, and got to see some of our all time favorite performers at Outspoken queer open mic's third anniversary.
  • Other Things I Loved: Manny and I's queerplatonic partnership turned 13! Exciting stuff. We met right around Halloween--we didn't get to celebrate until just barely into November, but it was marvelous nonetheless. Our Samhain ritual with another friend was very special and really magick (and unexpectedly invigorating). Other fun things from the month:
    • All of my friends' Halloween costumes were so cute! Manny went as Tina Belcher, and I spent time with a Ghostbuster. Those were my faves, but everyone rocked it this year. You can see some on my personal instagram. I also do a (mostly daily) free promotional reading to help guide your day there.
    • I saw Chastity Brown in concert again, this time on her own! Her voice alone brings me to tears, and the intimacy of the space we were at made everything extra evocative.
    • I guess I live here now? A couple of my favorite nights of the month were spent with a fancy overpriced OR really crappy beer, long intense games of oversized Jenga, and some very hostile (on my end) pinball. They have them in more places than just Minneapolis, so see if one's near you if you aren't living here!
    • Walks along the Mississippi never get old, and Pokemon giving us extra candy and ghosts made that extra true. I also love just sitting by the dam and listening though, and there's usually a busker I really love right nearby.
    • I did try to go to the Luke's Diner pop-up because I am an unabashed Gilmore Girls fangirl, but the place I was at ran out of everything! I was so disappointed but consoled myself with Tiny Diner because it's also amazing.
    • Book recommendations! Even This Page Is White by Vivek Shraya left me unable to move or even blink in multiple places. One of the hands down best poetry books I have ever read in my entire life. Buy it right here. Just do it. In lighter news, Spider-Gwen took me awhile to get to. It was on my comics list, just not high priority. I'm glad I delved in though, it's pretty rad. I've also been plowing my way through 11/22/63 by Stephen King. I'm not finished, but I'm super into it. King is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me--I don't love his protagonists most of the time, and plotholes exist pretty plentifully in his world, but this one is really absorbing and a great offset to a hectic, tumultous, but ultimately good month.
    • TV & Music Recommendations: This season of How to Get Away With Murder is seriously heart attack inducing. I just want my big dumb babies to be okay. I also hopped on the Steven Universe bandwagon late in the game but I'm ridiculously here for it. I already talked to you about Chastity Brown but WOW. Her CD and EP will cut to your core. It didn't get much notice, but Rufus Wainwright has a CD of Shakespeare's sonnets set to music. It's not for everyone--but it is amazing if you're into that sort of thing.

That was my month! I hope you all had a marvelous month of spoop and celebration and witchery. Feel free to tweet at me, leave comments, etc. to tell me about your own month or chime in about my recommendations. Until next time,

Blessed Be.

Embracing October

Oh wow, what a difference a month makes--as I knew it would be, September was VERY kind to me (in spite of some major health concerns over the past few weeks, but that's nothing I'm not used to). So many things leveled off and look normal now, which me at 22 would have run screaming from, but the me who's almost 32 could not be happier about. Managing chronic illness requires instituting a little more stability than my boho nature would nurture on it's own, and what a gift to be balancing what seems to be the best of both worlds finally. My magickal duty now is to nurture growth, integration, and protect what's already been gained. So much easier than so much of the "starting from scratch" the summer stuck me with, and now we're in my favorite month. October is when I met my queerplatonic partner. October is when I bonded with my current squad. October is Halloween/Samhain/my favorite temperatures/leaves falling/new shoes/the no-longer-useful dying off. October is when I breathe best, but before we fully embrace, and homage to this September, which was so gracious in it's own right.

On a walk along the river practically right beside my new place.

On a walk along the river practically right beside my new place.

  • My Tarot Practice finally has a studio of it's own! I adore having an in-home studio. I know a lot of readers don't love or trust working this way, but for me it really does make my life make so much more sense. I also got to read at Pagan Pride at Minnehaha Falls, which was wonderful. I'm also head over heels in love with coaching tarot newbies. I am soon rolling out a package for in person coaching sessions, but the tl;dr version will have two offerings: one that is a total coaching package, 3.5 month commitment. The other is one of sessions for those who just need to meet up once or twice to ask my opinion on a few things they're confused about, get some guided practice, or learn some new viewpoints. Both will be $50 a session and you can email me to get started now!
  • Things I Wrote: Still in love with my turn at Little Red Tarot, and over at TheColu.mn I'm still rocking that arts beat. No new gigs but that should be changing before the end of the year.
  • Theatre Life: Uh, I guess I open a show next weekend? It's REAL good and I'm so proud to have produced it. Also if you're Twin Cities located and looking for a spot for a poetry slam, workshop, rehearsal, or seminar, check out Gadfly's rental packages! AND I had a blast being the point person on our latest Drunk Queer History event. This series has been so wonderful for all involved so far. Gadfly also featured at OutSpoken, which was a lovely way to fully embrace the Fox Egg being ours.
Rehearsal shots from the upcoming She Kills Monsters.

Rehearsal shots from the upcoming She Kills Monsters.

  • Other Things I Loved: The queerplatonic partner turned 30 which meant Nepalese food, drinks at Lush, dessert at the Lowry, and drag queen brunch (also at Lush). I got to squeeze in a LOT of other random fun, magick, and art this month too. Highlights include:
    • Asali pulled some oracle cards for me, and it was beautiful and perfect.
    • Going to Sassafras Healing Arts for regular herbal treatments is the best self-care I've introduced myself to in awhile.
    • The play The Children which is running at Pillsbury through the 16th was creepy and captivating.
    • I SAW TEGAN AND SARA LIVE FINALLY! I've been a huge fan forever, and was always broke or out of town whenever they were here. I'm still beside myself at the memories of being there.
    • I adventured to the Renaissance Fair (even if it was a final hurrah with one of my fave adventure buddies who is leaving for Atlanta) down in Shakopee.
    • AND I finally made it to the 318 Club, owned by a good friend. It was adorable and the food was delicious.
    • I know I usually stick some book recommendations here too, but my reading was either dissatisfying or warranted a bigger review. I will say that if "creepy but romantic" is your jam, Alice Hoffman's Museum of Extraordinary Things is not mind-blowing but it does hit the spot for that niche.
An oracle pull from Asali Earthwork.

An oracle pull from Asali Earthwork.

That was pretty much it! September was a lot of fun side adventures in the overall theatre/tarot/wordsmith adventure that is my life--but October sees me producing a mainstage show and tends to require I buckle down in my tarot business so it was good to get roaming when I had time to. I'm so excited to watch Eye of Horus have a birthday this month, as well as see what else the universe has in store for me.

In the meantime, Blessed Be.

Welcoming August (and Lammas) with Open Arms

Lammas (which is tomorrow) is generally a time to welcome a harvest with open arms, celebrating the growth and fruition of all the seeds you planted. The reality of this year is that a lot of planted seeds that sprouted only to wither or die or never got off the ground in the first place. This too is a gift, it's just one that takes awhile to process the lessons and gifts off. My preferred method of this is to count my blessings of what DID harvest, or what blew in in lieu of one while I journal through my darker feelings. I do not expect anyone to be able to match me in this--we are allowed to grieve when our dreams die and if wallowing is what you need then wallow like no one ever has before. For me personally, it helps with the grieving to honor the good in that time. SO with that in mind, here's my blessings list/July wrap-up.

  • Outdoor Tarot is consistently a high point in my life, and while me and my favorite decks didn't have any huge adventures, we did go out to a hippie farm up north, out to my yard on countless days, and to a beautiful cabin (that one of my best friends owns) in the cutest small town in Wisconsin.
  • Things I Wrote: Still in love with my turn at Little Red Tarot, and over at TheColu.mn I published this huge write-up of Queer Fringe pieces. I was thrilled to hop over to Abbie's blog to talk about my favorite writer and what tarot IS to me. I also talked about the importance of taking a break, how to support Black Lives Matter, and a relationship check-in and advice spread on this very blog.
  • Theatre Life: Gadfly is moving into an art gallery! I'm sure I'll post more about this, as creating and changing an environment is a spiritual and creative endeavor in and of itself. As such we are genuinely elated for this opportunity, as well as the opportunity to offer low cost space to other queer and marginalized artists. I also took part in the One Minute Play Festival which really reignited my love and joy of theatre outside of Gadfly again.
  • Other Things I Loved: playtime with my cat babies (even if they are a suburb over from me right now :( ); boat rides in new lakes, game nights (so many game nights!), the most fun night ever at my new favorite bar/old school arcade, an all POC version of my favorite monthly show, OutSpoken, and too, too many trips to my favorite dive queer bar and corresponding diner across the street.
  • Recommendations: The Art of Money by Bari Tesler which I will have MUCH more about coming soon. Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera. All of the Saga and all of the Lumberjanes. Season 3 of Bojack Horseman and Stranger Things, both on Netflix. Pokemon Go, obviously. The card game Gloom (so silly-macabre and fun). The Linestrider tarot (official review coming soon!).

I hope those of you celebrating harvests this Lammas get to keep on rocking and those of you grieving missown or bum seeds have a better fall. Blessed be. XO.

Take A Break. Take a Breathe.

The Southern Theater During One Minute Play Festival

The Southern Theater During One Minute Play Festival

I love theater. I love it with a passion and intensity that sometimes keeps me up at night reading script after script or watching illegally downloaded scenes (shhh!) online. This is in addition to throwing a substantial amount of my money, time, and spoons into seeing it live. I produce at least three events a year, and that's a slow year and a conservative estimate. I am a renaissance soul, and I am as passionate about spirituality and the career it has provided me, about literature and my dreams of contributing to the literary world, and social justice activism--but nonetheless, theatre is a driving force in my life.

Three years I did five shows back to back, with no break whatsoever, and in fact, prep for 2-4 at a time overlapped significantly. By the end of that final event, which I loved and was so proud of, I was crying almost every day. Everything set me off. I was at max capacity stress level. I was barely scraping myself together for tarot clients and my day job (which I have since quit but that's a different story for a different day), and I wasn't writing at all because I was spent. I was also the second sickest I have ever been. My arthritis wasn't flaring up so much as I was living in the first flare-up that happened in that time for months on end. My PCOS was out of control and there were days I could not keep water down. Yet I was up, working at least 15 hour days between theatre and my other obligations EVERY SINGLE DAY. It was absurd.

So I stopped doing anything but Gadfly. For a really long time. And this past year, Gadfly didn't do any mainstage work until last month, so after this much time not directing, getting back into two projects in a row (that, then One Minute Play Festival) felt exhilarating. It felt like I was me again. I cried Sunday night after 1MPF ended because I was so happy. I even went out with afterwards, had an amazing time and felt almost no social anxiety.

So what changed? First of all, 10/10 recommend taking a break when you need one. If you're making connections, doing good work, and pleasant to be around, contrary to what you think in the heat of it, no one will blame you from stepping away from your field for health, mental health, or any other reason. (Family! Travel! Because!) Your field is probably not steeped in totally unreasonable assholes, and if it is--well, maybe you need to talk to yourself about that. It is so important to take care of yourself and your work, regardless of your field, will suffer if you are crying every day and driving yourself to literal sickness. So take a break. Get some distance. When you start missing it--go back! As SOON as I told people I was interested in both performing storytelling and directing theatre again, things started to trickle in. It takes time to rebuild, but you are not rebuilding from nothing. You unfortunately also will not be building QUITE from where you left off, but somewhere in between is not the worst thing to happen, and if it's gonna save you your sanity or physical health you HAVE to do it.

Time and space were not the only difference though. Unrelated--or so I thought, I went on a big self-care, physical and mental health...quest, I guess? In theatre, and I am not slamming anyone personally because it runs so deep in that culture, it is considered bragging rights to have had the least sleep, to have not had time to eat in three days, to not have friends outside of the show because you don't have time. Everyone goes out and gets drunk together every night, and cures their hangovers with coffee and jumps right into it again. While I know people who navigate this successfully, I did not. Many close to me did not. After some time away and learning to listen to my body, I didn't run into these problems this go.

Of course I ran on less sleep during tech and shows the past month. But I supplemented with water, getting to bed as soon as I could, eating when I was hungry, and finding even five minutes every few hours to sit and do something unrelated--read an article, read a book, journal a fun quote someone said, play Pokemon Go. You need breaks in your day when you're working that hard. I'm no self-care expert though I've come a long way, but what this past month made me realize is this:

You can have your passions and your health.

There's no life hack, magic trick, or prescription to provide both to you though, as both are journeys and take work. There isn't a secret metaphysical ritual we're holding out on you about. But you can listen to your body and your soul and adhere to their requests--and that's pretty much all most spellwork is anyway.

Take a break. Take a breathe. Take your life back. You'll still meet your goals.

Until next time, Blessed be.

June 2016--Halfway Through Another Rollercoaster Year

My Northeast Night Market setup. (Ignore the rope--we had to tie the tent down!)

My Northeast Night Market setup. (Ignore the rope--we had to tie the tent down!)

For someone who strives for balance and serenity, the past few years have had me all over the place in terms of the earthly events and external energies I was working with. This June was particularly tumultuous, and I am ready for a break! My queerplatonic partner lost their job through no fault of their own, all while we're house hunting to no avail (which is stressful in it's own right), and my rheumatologist put me back on two of my most loathed arthritis drugs at the same time. Certainly tumultuousness does not imply all negative things though, and for that I am grateful. I have three really exciting things to report soon, but in the meantime, here are some of my other June highlights.

  • Theatre Life: Gadfly Theatre Productions, my heart and soul, put up a really wonderful geeky one-act festival on the theme "Heroes and Villains." Everything we do is through a queer and feminist lens, and I was particularly proud of how envelope pushing this year's was. If you missed it and want to relive it, here's some reviews I have mixed feels about but give you a sense of what both Set A and Set B where like. And check out these super cute photos from Set B rehearsals and outtakes.
Alyssa Perau &amp; Cayla Marie Wolpers backstage of Set B/Armando Ronconi rehearsing on stage.

Alyssa Perau & Cayla Marie Wolpers backstage of Set B/Armando Ronconi rehearsing on stage.

  • Tarot Teamwork! Northern Lights Witch and I worked two events together this month to drum up new clients and get her name out there as a reader and reconnect with some "event" clients of mine. One we worked with another reader I adore, and unfortunately the event itself kind of flopped. Northeast Night Market however was a blast--and NLW and I had a hilarious beer-fueled night attempting to hand make signs for it even though we are NOT artists. Laughter + connection are so key when doing spiritual or social justice work though, so even if our signs didn't last the night was definitely necessary. I was also thrilled to work with two soloprenuer friends of mine for a fundraiser at one of my favorite bars. Finally, in case you missed my post, I rounded out the month by organizing a Metaphysical Pride booth with many of my favorite LGBTQ+ metaphysical practicioners reading with us or selling goods. I normally only do one to two events a month, often private ones I wouldn't blog about, but this month I really felt inspired to connect with other readers and new clients, so I got my butt moving and did so! I forgot how exhausting event life is, so I'm happy to retreat back now that the June event frenzy is past, but I have no regrets about putting so much of time and energy there this month.
  • Taught my Queering the Tarot workshop at Eye of Horus--I had a small but good crowd, and fall more in love with sharing my material with others every time.
  • Things I Wrote: Nothing substantial to report beyond my Queering the Tarot and it's reprints, but I was pretty fond of this spotlight on a local improv group I love too, especially since I got to see them live right before I sat down and wrote it.
  • Other Things I Loved:
    • My friend anniversary with some dear friends took me to Northern Spark, an all nights art festival of lights that always has a bunch of really cool movement work.
    • Lake weather! Lake shores are where I basically live, weather and mosquito infestations pending, and it took Minnesota awhile to get there, but finally I can have my water, earth and strange critter assortment all at once whenever I have a free hour or seven.
    • The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats) was my favorite thing I read this month. I can take reading really seriously but this one let me goof off and just enjoy an hour of my day. On the flip side, Harvey Pekar and Joyce Brabner's Our Cancer Year broke my heart in all the best ways.
    • Arts and crafts night afternoon with a dear friend and her teen daughters, lazy days with my cats, Pssy Ctrl, and my temporary giant king bed all made my month even better.
One of my favorite pieces at Northern Spark.

One of my favorite pieces at Northern Spark.

In addition to all of this hectic but amazing (and the aforementioned less amazing, uber stressful stuff) I am also dealing with a ton of emotional stuff. It's mostly good--growth, change, blah blah blah, but it's been a wild 30 days. However, it's been a really great time to test myself, whether I intended it to be that or not, so I am excited to see where we head next. Hopefully I'll be reporting a wonderful new duplex and some major growth in several of my careers, and I know I'll have some grand or silly adventures to report on. In the mean time, feel free to snag some email readings or schedule and in person session, and until then,

Blessed be, my loves!

No End of Month Wrap-Up for April

Hey All,

Just wanted to drop a quick note about the slight blogging hiatus. I've been really sluggish lately, and at first it was easy to chalk up to my depression, until I noticed I didn't feel depressed. I felt tired. Really, really tired. Then some other weird things happened, and long story short my thyroid is out of control right now. I love this blog, tarot, witchery, writing about it all--but I need the rest of this week and some of next to recover, and by then April will be long gone. Suffice it to say, things did turn around for me, and I love where things are headed.

You can read about queer tarot by me here and here. You can read some writing from a new friend I made here. You can support my tarot biz by ordering an email reading, making an appointment, or visiting me here. You can support my theatre biz by grabbing tickets to this, this, or marking your calendar for this.

Until next time, Blessed be.

Please send healing energy in the meantime! Much love to you all. Enjoy this gratuitous photo of my cat.

A Late April Link Round-Up (My first one!)

I'm a huge reader and love of other people's work--I've discussed what a bibliophile I am in other posts, and I link to other blogs frequently, but lately I've read a few articles in a row that I wanted to share. Most of them come from blogs I already frequent, but these stood out to me as being useful.

To start with, we have this BEAUTIFUL Full Moon in Scorpio energy that one of my favorite online sites gives ideas for using here.

Y'all know how much I love Little Red Tarot, and I was especially taken with Beth's recent crystal clear spread for focus on Autostraddle.

Another blog I'm inspired by is Yes and Yes. It's not a tarot, metaphysical, theatre, or even pure business blog but her perspective on life and how it evolves as she gets older is pretty close to my own, and I love that most of her regular articles are about getting someone else's perspective. This article about just living your life as an inspiration is so, so wonderful. I have a lot of "life crushes" who's life I look up to in spite of being pretty fiery myself, so I related to this piece a ton.

Biddy Tarot is always teaching me something about tarot or, you know, teaching, and I picked up some info as well as teaching tips from this essential guide to tarot combos.

AND even though I described myself as "fiery" earlier I can PRETTY boring too--so here's a great piece from Bizjournals.com about staying a leader even when you've had a month like my last month.

Finally, I'm linking to an entire site of a witch who's also Minneapolis located and also primarily concerned with how the metaphysical can help Social Justice! It's already beautiful and I'm excited to see what else she does!

AND in case you missed anything going on around my little corner of the internet, here's my latest Queering the Tarot reprint, my latest Queering the Tarot, my review on a local comedy show, and a blog where I review my friend Leora's Tangled Roots Oracle deck.

Until next time--Blessed be.