An Excerpt from my Sex & Tarot E-Zine (On Sale Now!)

Hello Tarot Lovers!

It is under twenty degrees here in Minneapolis, MN all day but I’ve been warming up by staying in my chaise right across from the heating vent while I put the finishing touches on Sex & Tarot: An E-Zine Designed to Help You Have More and Better Sex Through Healing, Self-Awareness, and Tarot Spreads. It is ready to go, in my tarot shop, and on sale for $9.99 this week only!

From Sex & Tarot:

Tarot is traditionally said to be comprised of Four Suits plus the Major Arcana. Each suit represents one of the four natural elements (fire, water, air, earth). Given my history and practice with witchcraft, I actually work with the tarot as if it’s a set of Five suits, with the Major Arcana representing the fifth element, which is spirit. Spirit is written about totally differently though, so we will start with the four Minor Arcana suits, often called the pips.

The Suits & Sex

Wands/Rods/Fire
Wands are the suit of Fire. Fire is passion, excitement and fast movement. Wands are very often sex or sexual attraction itself in its raw and powerful form. Expect a lot of flings, experiments, and partners if you get a ton of Wands in a reading about sex.

Swords/Knives/Air
This suit of logic and action frames the analytical part of our mind as the most important and is excellent at communication as well as logistics. It’s also a suit where we see a lot of trauma and oppression. It stands to reason then that this is a suit of sexual trauma or oppression because of sexual or gender identity. It also stands to reason that even for cisgender straight people, the white heteropatriarchy can REALLLLY screw up our expectations and experiences of sex. That’s all indicated here in the Swords.

When we’re talking about sex in the positive, Swords are sometimes our (occasionally rude) reminder to keep a cool head and not give in to our basest lust. Alternatively, if we’re reading the cards strictly by artwork there’s frequently a lot of bondage in this suit so it could be encouraging us to try new things and get a little kinky. As a suit of communication, Swords also remind us that stating your sexual desires is the first step to getting what you want. Sex writing or therapy as a career option is well-aspected in a number of the Swords cards too.

Pentacles/Discs/Earth
Earth energy is all about stability and growth. It’s also about your actual physical body. Because of that we see sexual desire for the feeling of sex and touch in this suit, or the sensations of sex. We also see how our needs change and grow as relationships and bodies develop with age. Pentacles can often be sex within a committed relationship, but look for the pieces I mentioned first before assuming this is the case.

Sex work is positively indicated in the Pentacles and can guide a sex work career the same way it would guide any other career.

Chalices/Cups/Water
Chalices are normally my favorite group of cards but when they come up in a reading about sex I tend to groan. That’s because they are all about emotions, and that’s not always what I want when it comes to sex. It’s not a bad thing though, obviously. For a lot of people the best sex is riddled with feelings and aspiring towards emotional satisfaction. The Chalices are sex that is primarily about intimacy, not physical sensation. It’s sex when in love, or at least when feeling romantic.

Chalices also deal with emotional healing, so when we’re looking at our journey as a human, especially if we have sexual trauma, a positive Cups card is a solid indicator that we’re on the right track. All of the Chalices/Cups are here to remind us that we are emotional creatures first and we need to be ready and prepared to have the kind of sex we’re considering--even for the most happily non-monogamous and sexually active people among us. Sex still carries weird or surprising emotions sometimes, and this watery suit won’t let us forget that.

Major Arcana/Spirit
The Majors normally indicate fate/coincidence/higher power/Divine energy. If you or the seeker you’re reading for are not super spiritual, a lot of times these cards represent things you have no control over or that the ball is already rolling on. Sometimes the Majors are just the cards that didn’t fit in to the suits but bring important messages to you.

In a reading about sex, the interpretation of the Major Arcana varies dramatically depending on the question or situation. Cards like The Hierophant can show a discomfort with sex thanks to a strict religious upbringing or societal trappings. Cards like The Sun can show the innocent joy of good sex with a good person that perhaps blooms into a lasting relationship. Cards like The Star or The Devil can indicate the spiritual side of sex, namely tantra or ritual sex acts.

Overall, when we’re talking about sex I think the Major Arcana’s goal is to move us from a place of being scared and fearful when we think about, talk about, or even have sex to a place of empowerment and bed-breaking lust when the situation calls for it.

If you want to see where this leads and let the tarot take you on a journey towards your best sexual self, hop over and grab a copy for only $9.99 through the end of the week (which I do define as Sunday). Happy Cyber Monday!

Blessed be, y’all!

Tiny Bursts of Bliss + A Whole Lotta Internet Love

What's up, witches?

Today what's taking up a lot of space in my brain amidst all the infuriated screaming and desires to "burn it all down" even if I'm not sure what "it" is is this: how important for centering yourself finding those moments that 99% of us do have in the day that are pure bliss and totally take us out of the otherwise agitated state we all live in right now. It can feel really selfish to incorporate things that make us so happy into our lives, but it's not, at all. For starters, what the hell are we even fighting for if we jump ahead of our oppressors in shoving our own happiness away? Second of all, nothing has made me feel as calm, centered, and ready to fight as the moments of contentedness and true happiness I'm able to steal away.

Earlier this week I had an awful stomach virus and my queerplatonic partner honestly took such ridiculously good care of me. I somehow felt so pampered and loved as I couldn't even keep water down. There were moments even then that I felt "oh, man, this is really, really what love looks like. It looks overwhelmingly like ginger beer and ritz crackers and so many hours of Friends reruns and picking up refills of Zofran, and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." When the bug cleared I had the clarity and motivation to get lots of good tarot, writing, and stuff around the house done.

Example two: I have felt so scattered lately. I can't focus for more than a few moments here and there to save my life. I'm so angry about Standing Rock and trans kids not being able to use the right restrooms and 900,000 other things, and it's easy to spiral into a place of "nothing I can do from here matters anyway." In my little microcosm, I have about 75 things that really need done EVERY DAY and that's really overwhelming when you're coming off of sickness AND super invested in turning this sinking ship around somehow. Somehow I ended up curled up in a ball in my favorite oversized chair, a luxury I never knew I needed until I got one, with my window open. A really beautiful, cleansing breeze was blowing through and my giant orange cat (my absolute favorite breed, though I love my long haired brown babby just as much) was purring beside me and all of a sudden I thought "holy hell, this is a really beautiful moment." I was so happy for a few minutes, and when I came out of it and back to reality, I was able to steadily make deadlines for often important work all day. Those moments matter. They matter as much as a good night's sleep and drinking plenty of fluids for fighting this nonsense, and they matter for your own life.

Also I had some new headshots and stuff taken and some of them are pretty cute if I do say so myself! Done by Lauren Erchul in Minneapolis.

Now here's a really terrible segue into some rad stuff OTHER people wrote that piqued my interests this month:

From the "I just had a birthday, you know" gimme-gimme files.

Tarot Spreads and Other Such Treats: Stuff I should probably actually do/ A spread for making tough decisions/

A thing my non-queer-lady roommate probably wishes I hadn't found.

Theatre nerdery: I already posted the Angels in America oral history that I'm in love with, and a friend was kind enough to send me this one of Rent. I've been an unabashed Rent-head my entire adult life but even I found out some new stuff!/Why arts funders must protect marginalized communities (and how they can)/A hard but important read on arts funding and where it's going. TL;DR: support your local small peeps (hint, hint)

Birthday goodies: Seven questions to ask for your birthday every year. Really lovely, important self-care to treat yourself with every year!

Notes for the Revolution: Acts of rebellion you're probably already doing (but please do big things too!)/A REALLY important piece about institutional racism and how calling your city a Sanctuary City is really, really not enough/An examination of how using trans inclusion as a marketing scheme is actually not that great (shocking I know)/Why White America Demonizes Black Lives Matter/A beautiful conversation about Sandra Bland/Language matters--here's how to replace accidentally transphobic language./On reclaiming queer historical space/How to prep for a protest, and what to do if things do go south.

Writers on Writing: Unironically one of my favorite topics. Here Alex Franzen encourages us to tell our stories even when we feel we can't./An oldie but goodie: a Brand quiz to see how you should be focusing your business or freelance work

RadQueer Witch Stuff: I'm so blessed to have friends like J.Ryan who broach topics even I'm afraid to take on sometimes. This one is on the damage well-intending Pagans can cause to queer (and other) marginalized people/Not queer, definitelyprogressive: how things have changed for tarot readers in this political climate/The best spell collection I have ever seen/On being a witch in Trump's America

General Witch Stuff: Some of my favorite Chani Nicholas to date/A simple, sweet luggage spell for safe travel/Healing magick from a witch who's work is always on point

Just Because: I geek out about new life forms being found, and this one has a huge crystal bonus!/NOT A DRILL: Ancient Egyptian texts being translated in English for first time. I'm beside myself./Queer Appalachian art and literature (plus how to help!)/Some amazing work by queer women of color, for queer women of color

Mental Health and All That Jazz: Phone anxiety? Me too. This has some good insights./Apparently some trauma survivors MAY cope by overworking (looks around guiltily, hides under rock.)

Where I've Been: I've gotten some good stuff on this blog this month. My favorite is here + nab my mini e-book on Tarot for Healing here. I've covered some of my favorite artists over here (plus more on the way yet this month!) AND one of my favorites put me in her Tea Time Reading this month!

OH AND ONE MORE THING: IT'S COMING!!!

Blessed be y'all!

Literary Magic: Two Must-Reads to Snag ASAP

Originally this was going to be two separate posts. I read a lot and I always do a book recommendation or two from the month in my End of Month wrap-up, but occasionally a book stands out so far above and beyond--AND fits right into what I want to do with my tarot practice and this blog that they deserve their own time. Each of these definitively deserve their own time, but between moving and maintaining everything I just don't have the time each deserves.

Nonetheless, I wanted to say SOMETHING about them and push, push, push you to go buy them as soon as humanly possible. The first will be of interest to ANYONE who found their way here via my Queering the Tarot series or by cross searching "queer" and "tarot".

Jailbreaking the Goddess takes critiques every progressive person has about the traditional Maiden, Mother, Crone Goddess path (ugh, virginity! ugh, wombs!) and offers a much-needed alternative. Larissa Firefox Allen's FIVE-FOLD Goddess path gets us away from woman = body and creates a nuanced, full look at Goddess energy and how it potentially applies to our work with this new understanding. Not only is this line of magick much more welcoming to trans Goddess worshippers, but the additional faces of the Goddess offer a whole new world of opportunity and understanding in our spiritual practice.

Firefox Allen also pulls no punches when discussing appropriation and colonization of spirituality. While those of us who have been doing feminist and anti-racist work for awhile may find a few chapters a little "Radicalism 101", for many picking up this book they are a necessity. For the rest of us--well, having some pages we can merely skim makes it all the easier to process our new understanding of our own dieties. My personal favorite part of the book's unique (and so easy to follow!) structure was the sections highlighting examples of dieties--AND REAL HUMANS--who exhibit the characteristics of the Goddess aspect being discussed. My only real critique of Jailbreaking the Goddess is that the journal prompts are almost too frequent. You may pick it up and decide I'm wrong, but since I tend to highlight, take notes, etc. when reading anyway, an additional prompt after basic material introductions threw me off. I complied in the beginning but by the third face, I just read several sections at a time and then journaled my reactions to the questions that came up either in prompts or other thoughts I had. Even with that distraction, this book significantly deepened my relationship with the Divine, helped me heal emotionally in a lot of places, and completely altered how I think about spiritual energy for the better. And even for someone who wears their queerness, their feminism, their radicalism like a second skin, it definitely opened my eyes to new ways to practice my faith in a more conscientious, decolonized way.

This next one may come as a surprise to some of my readers. I am incredibly skeptical about books bordering on self-help, even when disguised as business or finance books, and I keep my relationship with money pretty separate from everything else I do. However, a few people I really respect on the metaphysical blogosphere were pretty excited about it, so I went ahead and ordered Bari Tessler's The Art of Money. Three pages in, I had to put it down because I was crying. Hysterically. This book is about so much more than money, best practices, and spiritual entrepreneurship. It is part self-help but it actually helps. The first third of Tessler's program focuses on healing your emotional relationship with money, and before you roll your eyes, just check out the book. This section of the book literally changed my life. Tessler has us delve into money memories, and it has completely altered my perception of what is and isn't possible in my life in all the best ways. It has also made me more fearless in my business practices. It is intense emotional therapy, and everyone I've had read it had a similar reaction. Yet just when you think you're totally overwhelmed and aren't sure what your next move should be, Tessler introduces you to some incredibly practical measures that changed my life in a much more mundane but prosperous way. I was shocked when I did my first accounting session with myself; first by how much I was making, then by how much I was spending. One of the money stories that was wrong that I have told myself was "you don't have money"--over and over since childhood. Which made me unaccountable as an adult solo entrepreneur to anyone but my landlord (who I always managed to pull it together for). I'm certainly not dining with the Kardashians anytime soon, but getting my spending in a couple of areas under control is JUST as important to me right now as bringing more in after actually seeing the numbers. (Actually, post-move that's not really true, but in general it absolutely is.)

Tessler also takes care to stress that there are very real societal issues that may prevent you from fully reaching your financial potential, and admits she doesn't have solutions for that--instead the practical tips she does offer and her insistence on values-based bookkeeping will help almost anyone, and certainly anyone who does have steady income. Tessler also stresses that this one book is not the permanent solution. You have to keep healing your relationship with money, and you have to keep letting that relationship evolve and begin to affect your other habits. It may take re-reads and years of consistent journaling, but it beyond a doubt turned my relationship with money completely upside down even on this first go-round.

This is an admittedly abrupt end to this blog, but that's what I've got today! Now go, get all well-read and stuff. Until next time,

Blessed Be.

A Spread for Helping a Loved One

Love languages are tricky. While I think the writings about them are important, I'm always a little skeptical when we try to box in or quantify people. Usually what I need from the people I love is quality time, a few snuggles, and support for my dreams. Still, when I'm dumped or feeling hopeless I need words of encouragement. When I'm not able to take care of myself properly because of financial or illness constraint I need acts of service or gifts. No one is one way and no one loves one way. This is complicated by the fact that while I receive love in those ways, I most often express it in encouraging words or gifts, so people assume that's all I need or what I want in return. Then there are times I truly believe no one knows what they want or need, so expressing it or asking for it becomes impossible. My queerplatonic partner right now is going through every bit the hard time I am. We can't find housing and it's really dampening both of our inner lights to not be out on our own (together) right now. Coupled with some job crises on their end, it's been really rough and my normal loved-one's intuition was severely hampered. As always when things are dark, I turned to the tarot for a simple, straightforward spread to see what they needed from me right now.

I know when creating spreads most readers start with overarching themes or ideas, but I nearly always put them last. This is because of how my anxiety works. I usually need the answers when I need them, and then I'm able to take a breathe and see the big picture. If my order of the card placements doesn't work for you, feel free to move them around. Tarot is fluid, and it's best when hyper-personalized.

Deck is Wild Unkown; the new version.

For this spread, I just did three cards. Card 1 is What do they need me to do right now? The Sun lets me know that in remaining optimistic, family-oriented and confident their own mood will alter. As someone who prides herself on her whimsy who is dealing with a very Earthy Earth sign, this is likely also a note to get us not only having fun, but outside in the summer heat so we're not just sitting around fretting. This was an easy message to take though I haven't felt very optimistic lately. I do think that being compassionate to yourself is the most important thing except in extreme circumstances, but I can definitely get us outside and having fun, and I can definitely share my optimism when it does trickle in. 

Card 2 is What do they need me to say right now? The three of cups is all about celebrating love and accomplishments, so my words of encouragement right now can be anything from affirming that I love them no matter what to reminding them of the good they're doing in the world in our lives. I was actually not super off track here, so that was affirming but does help me focus my "helper" energy to this stream.

Card 3 is the bigger picture card I mentioned that you may want to put first. It's What is my role in the things? The Seven of Cups assures me that they are still making decisions with our weird chosen family in mind. This is a card of choices and decisions, so helping make those as well as keeping that cups love flowing is part of my role right now. Knowing my steadfast qpp's heart and chosen relationship roles, it may even be guiding me to fulfill the role of being the primary decision-maker since they have SO much on their plate. The seven of cups is also a card of imagination that coupled with the sun reminds me to not stop dreaming and putting new ideas on the table for consideration.

A lot of times I sit down and work to create a spread I actively engage my imagination and toy with a few different ideas. This one came to me more intuitively and has helped ease the would-be burden beautifully. I also recommend recalibrating this spell for self-love and nurturing the sides of yourself that are feeling angsty.

Until next time, Blessed be.

Take A Break. Take a Breathe.

The Southern Theater During One Minute Play Festival

I love theater. I love it with a passion and intensity that sometimes keeps me up at night reading script after script or watching illegally downloaded scenes (shhh!) online. This is in addition to throwing a substantial amount of my money, time, and spoons into seeing it live. I produce at least three events a year, and that's a slow year and a conservative estimate. I am a renaissance soul, and I am as passionate about spirituality and the career it has provided me, about literature and my dreams of contributing to the literary world, and social justice activism--but nonetheless, theatre is a driving force in my life.

Three years I did five shows back to back, with no break whatsoever, and in fact, prep for 2-4 at a time overlapped significantly. By the end of that final event, which I loved and was so proud of, I was crying almost every day. Everything set me off. I was at max capacity stress level. I was barely scraping myself together for tarot clients and my day job (which I have since quit but that's a different story for a different day), and I wasn't writing at all because I was spent. I was also the second sickest I have ever been. My arthritis wasn't flaring up so much as I was living in the first flare-up that happened in that time for months on end. My PCOS was out of control and there were days I could not keep water down. Yet I was up, working at least 15 hour days between theatre and my other obligations EVERY SINGLE DAY. It was absurd.

So I stopped doing anything but Gadfly. For a really long time. And this past year, Gadfly didn't do any mainstage work until last month, so after this much time not directing, getting back into two projects in a row (that, then One Minute Play Festival) felt exhilarating. It felt like I was me again. I cried Sunday night after 1MPF ended because I was so happy. I even went out with afterwards, had an amazing time and felt almost no social anxiety.

So what changed? First of all, 10/10 recommend taking a break when you need one. If you're making connections, doing good work, and pleasant to be around, contrary to what you think in the heat of it, no one will blame you from stepping away from your field for health, mental health, or any other reason. (Family! Travel! Because!) Your field is probably not steeped in totally unreasonable assholes, and if it is--well, maybe you need to talk to yourself about that. It is so important to take care of yourself and your work, regardless of your field, will suffer if you are crying every day and driving yourself to literal sickness. So take a break. Get some distance. When you start missing it--go back! As SOON as I told people I was interested in both performing storytelling and directing theatre again, things started to trickle in. It takes time to rebuild, but you are not rebuilding from nothing. You unfortunately also will not be building QUITE from where you left off, but somewhere in between is not the worst thing to happen, and if it's gonna save you your sanity or physical health you HAVE to do it.

Time and space were not the only difference though. Unrelated--or so I thought, I went on a big self-care, physical and mental health...quest, I guess? In theatre, and I am not slamming anyone personally because it runs so deep in that culture, it is considered bragging rights to have had the least sleep, to have not had time to eat in three days, to not have friends outside of the show because you don't have time. Everyone goes out and gets drunk together every night, and cures their hangovers with coffee and jumps right into it again. While I know people who navigate this successfully, I did not. Many close to me did not. After some time away and learning to listen to my body, I didn't run into these problems this go.

Of course I ran on less sleep during tech and shows the past month. But I supplemented with water, getting to bed as soon as I could, eating when I was hungry, and finding even five minutes every few hours to sit and do something unrelated--read an article, read a book, journal a fun quote someone said, play Pokemon Go. You need breaks in your day when you're working that hard. I'm no self-care expert though I've come a long way, but what this past month made me realize is this:

You can have your passions and your health.

There's no life hack, magic trick, or prescription to provide both to you though, as both are journeys and take work. There isn't a secret metaphysical ritual we're holding out on you about. But you can listen to your body and your soul and adhere to their requests--and that's pretty much all most spellwork is anyway.

Take a break. Take a breathe. Take your life back. You'll still meet your goals.

Until next time, Blessed be.

Creating Sacred Space On the Road (Or any other high pressure situation)

I recently embarked on a road trip from Minnesota to LA with my very favorite person on the planet and another very close friend to see one of our college friends (who I still absolutely adore) marry a woman who even this cold-hearted bitter single queer can see is his true love. This started off as a travel entry--how much fun I had in LA, how magickal this Pisces babe felt seeing the Pacific Ocean for the first time, the best food I ate, etc. It would've been genuine and it would've been great, but I'm exhausted. I. Am. So. Exhausted. It's not that I didn't have a great time. It was one of the best experiences of my life, but I could've taken better care of myself. I am a capital-I-Introvert, and I was with the QPP non-stop, our other friend most of the time, staying with a wonderful new friend (who had a weimaraner!), and visiting art friends and clients that moved to LA to follow their dreams. You know, on top of wedding stuff. This couldn't be avoided and I didn't WANT it to be avoided, but here's where I went a little amiss:

• I didn't write, not even in my journal, the entire time. My fingers are so itchy now to sit and write all the things and I definitely felt the pain of not documenting AND not taking the time to do for myself.
• My daily tarot practice also fell short.
• There were a few times I could've carved out an hour or two to sit and read or dip my feet into the apartment complex's pool while Manny was napping or otherwise engaged, and instead I usually flopped on my bed and stared at my phone for those times. Such a fail.

I like to think this bird is also carving out just a few moments of alone time.

Carving out and creating that time for yourself is crucial, and I'm definitely feeling the brunt of it now. I didn't totally fail at carving out that time and space for myself though. Here's some tips/tricks/indulgences I did enforce that anyone in a highly people-d situation can do.

• Never underestimate the power of grounding stones and personal talismans. Manny gifted me an amethyst point with a moonstone set in sterling silver a couple of Christmases ago and I have worn it every day since, with the exception of days I forget or days I'm giving it a three-day moon bath for cleansing. I do daily incantations for both success and grounding so on the road clutching it, taking a deep breathe, and not incanting but just feeling all the good energy I already put into it made a HUGE difference. I also took some of my favorite grounding stones, and would just pull out hematite and jet and set it on my thigh, arm, tummy, or even just held it and breathed for a few minutes.
• My last day in LA itself I did some touristy things, but then I just felt done. I sat in the apartment hot tub and read a Carson McCullers book. Manny was technically there, but we were on opposite sides and I was totally absorbed in my book and vice versa. It was only 30-40 minutes or so but it was enough to get me ready for dinner with a dear friend I hadn't seen awhile. You won't always have a hot tub, but there will always be some place you can retreat too.
• I ate well! If you've followed me for any length of time or know me at all in real life, this is an ongoing struggle for me regardless of travel. I love nothing more than good bread, ethically farmed real butter, mostly vegan food (sans salty vegan substitutes) with occasional pizza or cheese-on-my-omelette indulgences and seafood if I trust the source. However, I often find myself at the bottom of a bag of chips with no clue how I got there, or alternatively, will realize it's midnight and I'm starving because I had four grapes for breakfast and nothing else all day. I started each day with my standard cup of coffee and glass of water, because food in the morning gags me (thanks thyroid disorder!) but I'm honestly so proud of myself for lunch on every day. I ate lots of high-protein, high-fat (it's a good thing for chronically ill people), low sugar and salt food everyday. I ate every time I was hungry and stopped when I was done. This might seem so basic but when traveling it is so easy to go wild on junk food or get so busy visiting stuff you don't eat nearly enough. Furthermore, good food has a spiritual purpose to me so even with other people that first bite of to-die-for mushroom chorizo grounds me and connects me to the local place it came from.
• I stated my needs (!!!) this is an even bigger struggle for me than the food thing, and do you know what happened on a 30 hour road trip when I asked my friends if we could "just be quiet for a few minutes?" They agreed, and even seemed relieved that SOMEONE had asked for this. Y'all. Tell people what you need. Trust me on this.
• I took time for JUST the BFF and I. No, it's not introvert time, but time to blow off steam with someone you love in a beautiful city (or wherever you're visiting) is restorative. We got to experience LA shopping and walking hustle on our own, frequently striding side by side silently (the mark of true companionship) pointing out only the silliest or most moving things we saw. And we complained about the stresses of the visit. I'm not the type of new age-r who thinks complaints automatically poison your positive vibes. In fact, if you keep every annoyance, actual contention, hurt feeling, and who knows what else inside you will have a meltdown.
• AND MAYBE YOU NEED TO HAVE A MELTDOWN AND THAT'S OKAY TOO. I sat on one of the most beautiful beaches in the world and sobbed hysterically because that's what I needed to do, and then the entire rest of my day was just breathtakingly wonderful. Complaining and crying only become toxic if that's your default, your way of life, or if they hinder your ability to stay grateful. I am always grateful. I grew up with almost nothing, I've been abused and assaulted and stolen from and deeply, deeply hurt so many times and somehow I made it to a point in my life where with some careful budgeting I can take a trip to LA, buy my hosts thank you gifts, and still have money to eat with when I come back and I've gotten to a point where I can attend a friend's wedding out of state like a fucking adult and talk about my businesses in an honest but glowing way and live my life, my love, and my spirituality freely and there is not a single second of a single day where I am not overwhelmingly grateful for where I ended up and where I'm going, but all of those other things leave scars, no life is perfect, and you are not wrecking your mojo if you are 1,500 miles away from your biggest stressors and still sit on a beach crying about them. You are releasing that emotion, processing it, and that is so necessary. So have a meltdown, no matter how much fun you're supposed to be having. Just don't let those feelings wreck your whole trip--not because you owe being fun to anyone, but because if you're on a trip, you owe it to yourself to enjoy it.

I learned so much about myself and my limits on this trip, and perhaps that's the big takeaway after all. I pushed myself a little too far, and I'll be better next time, but I knew when it was time to call it on this trip and held firm, and I haven't self-advocated that well ever. I'm so beyond grateful for this trip for so many reasons, not the least of which connects to me learning even more about sacred space and time and how much I need it.

Until next time, blessed be.

"All We Are Is Our Stories"

This is something the flawless Desiree Burch said during Nerdcon in the fall, and it is a sentence that haunts me and comes back over and over again. It grows deeper every time--when it was stated, Desiree was giving a speech on why stories matter, and basically said that stories matter because we matter, and all we are once we leave this plane is the stories we leave behind. That is such a stunning and beautiful concept, such an impetus to speak your truth. Then this kept showing up in my readings.

This is the card "History," a special card added into The Tarot of the Silicon Dawn by Egypt Urnash. You can see an in-depth review of this card (that I did not write) here. It is devilishly queer and the extra cards are so wonderful and perfect add-ons for my life. This History card is starting to get under my skin as I grow and evolve, and keeps showing up in readings to really push the point home.

I've had a rough life, you guys. I make no secret of this, but I don't harp on it either. It is what it is, and I like to think that in spite of a rough upbringing, several chronic illnesses, and the reasons behind my PTSD and severe social anxiety disorder I am learning to move and thrive, and I am. I so am. The past year was so wild and I remembered how much potential and promise I truly have. Still there is something holding me back at times, and it is that voice that sounds like everyone who didn't believe me, everyone who hurt me, everyone who thought they were better and tried to oppress me. I have grown leaps and bounds, and still this card keeps showing up.

This card, you see, is about what we make of our history. It's about the stories we tell ourselves about our histories, and therefore our futures. In the card we see our figure bound by their words, bound by their stories, bound by their history, but this is not a card about how great bondage is. (Those cards are in this deck though, don't you worry ;) ) This is a card about how crucial moving forward is, but it exists to remind us we can not move on until we take control of our stories. This card tells us we can rewrite them, and we can rewrite their ending, and that we have too. We have to write our history in a way that we are empowered and we come out the victors in the end. We have to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves if those stories put us down and reinforce our insecurities, we just have too. We deserve stories where we persevered and we are so powerful. We deserve stories where we win. We deserve stories where we recognize that the story isn't over and anything can happen. We deserve empowering stories.

Because all we are, after all, is our stories, and we can't leave marvelous tales of wonder to the world when we just keep telling ourselves the same old horror stories.

UPCOMING HOLIDAY DISCOUNTS!

I am so excited about this weekend y'all, and not for the standard reasons. I tend to not go out and shop a lot myself, with the exception of perhaps venturing out on Small Business Saturday, but this week I'm having a huge, rare sale on my gift certificate readings, and I am beyond ecstatic to do so. I really want to get a lot of people in this holiday season, and hope to meet new clients in this time too. The real reason I'm doing this is because I know firsthand how frantic and at times upsetting the holiday season can be, and I can't stress enough the important role tarot--or any divination or energy work--can play. Whether you want to work out how to stay sane over the holidays, or get some guidance to wrap up the year and glide you into the next one, tarot can be there for you. If nothing else, sitting down and talking about YOU and what's on YOUR mind for awhile can certainly help you stay focused. So yes, wild sale, all for you, and I am so happy to do it.

The one teensy, tiny catch? To get sale prices on readings, you do need to pay in advance when you make your appointment. I promise I won't flake, and if I do get abducted by aliens or something, it's 100% refundable. As per usual, you must be able to come to Minneapolis, MN for an in-person reading.

To set up an in-person reading, email me first to make sure I have availability still, and once we set a time that works for both of us, put money through PayPal, or text me to run it through Square. For gift certificates, you can do it any order--pay then email or email then pay, just make sure I have your email address so I know who to send your numbered, individual, one use gift certificate too. I can do email or hard copy. Just let me know. Finally, for email readings on Sunday, I can't promise the 24 hour turnaround, but I WILL get you your readings before Friday, December 4th if you order online. To order one, email me your questions as well as the PayPal payment.

Exact sale looks like this:
BLACK FRIDAY--$30 in-person half-hour readings (a $10 per half hour saving!)
SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY (and Sunday)--$65 for a gift certificate, normally $75. Good for one hour, makes an amazing gift or future treat for yourself. Hour long appointments also $65 over these two days.
CYBER MONDAY--Order an e-mail reading to be turned in that week, only $20 per question! That's a $5 savings per question, and yes, you can stack up to three as per usual.

Looking forward to hearing from you--until then, Blessed be.