Why I Write and Teach About Sex & Tarot + Get a FREE Copy of My Upcoming E-Zine/Workbook

The first lesbian I ever saw on TV was Genesis from MTV’s Real World: Boston.

I was roughly “third or fourth grade” years old, and I remember staring at her and realizing for the first time that anyone could be gay. I had the good luck to not be brought up in a homophobic household. All of my parents listened to Melissa Etheridge and the Indigo Girls and I knew that they were lesbians. I don’t think I really knew or understood what that meant though until I saw Genesis. She talked openly about her relationships with women, the occasional bout of sexual fluidity, and she was so different than the other lesbians I had seen. I’d known I liked girls from around that age, but for some reason the amalgam of watching Genesis every week and crushing on my childhood friends allowed me to figure out who I was VERY early in life.

I still didn’t come out of the closet until I was in my 20s though. I had been sexually assaulted multiple times, and had this weird irrational fear that if people knew about that AND knew about my sexual identity, they would think they were linked. Furthermore, I primarily lived in the Bible Belt and while my experiences with church were mostly positive, I knew that being gay was not okay. I knew too, from watching too many people I knew and loved get assaulted that little if any care would be given to me in a time when I desperately needed some healing and empathy.

All of this is on top of a few sexual run ins with boys, and later, men that weren’t terrible only led me to a big pile of confusion about who I was AND even more confusion about what sex was or wasn’t. When I started using tarot in Freshman year of college to come to terms with my assaults and come into my own as a human, I knew that my relationships with sex and with tarot would be forever connected.

Fast forward to my 30s.

I’ve had a lot of therapy, but I also have a terrifying and painful sexual dysfunction. My clients are constantly getting terrible messages from a sexphobic world that also idealizes sex and it’s all very confusing. Everyone I know has sexual hang-ups and only a handful of people that I know are consistently and regularly having the sex that they deserve. This might be because of confidence, those societal messages, sexual dysfunction, not knowing who they are, not knowing their own body, or a hundred other reasons.

Yet I’ve had really great sex. I’ve had partners who treated me like royalty and strangers who made me go wild for one night only. So in spite of the myriad of reasons listed above, I know that sex is and can be absolutely stunning and worthwhile. I’m not qualified to be a sex therapist or a gynecologist. I don’t want to be, quite frankly.

What I do know and have always known though, is all of the beautiful and strength-supplying ways tarot can be used as a tool for ownership and transformation. That is why I write and teach about Sex & Tarot: because I want everyone to be able to use this powerful and accessible tool to have better sex. As I develop a new workbook and/or e-zine on the topic of Sex & Tarot I am super interested in what you need and want to know from the cards. I’m obviously including some Tarot 101 info on how and where to even find sex, healing, and fun in the tarot, but I want to help you even more!

That’s where you come in!

Anyone who takes time to answer the question:

“What would you want to learn about in an e-zine or workbook about Sex & Tarot”

will get a FREE copy of it when I’m done! No strings attached, seeking your input only. (Though, if you wanted to @ me on the various social media platforms and tell the world how much you love the workbook once you have it, that’d be amazing.)

How can you offer your input? EASY! Comments are on on this blog, so that’s probably the easiest/quickest way. If you follow me on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram there are posts up looking for input there too. Finally, if you want to be anonymous but ensure you get a copy of the finished product, e-mailing snow.cassandra@gmail.com is the way to go.

In the meantime,

Blessed Be and Happy Tarot-Ing.

Cassandra Snow

The Million Dollar Questions: Where Have I Been and Where Am I Now?

Photo By Janet Nguyen Photography

Hello Dear Readers,

I promise this is not yet another blog post where I just rehash the trauma of my brain injury, because where I’ve been in 2018 is so much deeper and more nuanced than one injury (even if that injury did suck literally over half a year out of my life).

When I was blogging before, my monthly posts about everything I accomplished/did/learned (and because I believe in accountability and strength in vulnerability, everything I failed at, struggled with, and didn’t accomplish) where some of my most popular and shared pieces. As I start back up, I want to keep the same personal voice with higher quality material so here we are back at the beginning of the month and ready to roll with some updates.

As a reminder OR as information for new readers, the reasons why I do these “month in review posts” are basically because:

1. Even if people didn’t enjoy them, holding myself accountable for my health, my productivity, and my community is really important to me. Posting publicly what works and what doesn’t keeps me going strong.

2. I get really overwhelmed and excited about all of the great things that exist in the world and I want to share the ones I’ve experienced with everyone and promote some great things.

3. I absolutely love reading personal posts, listicles, and other writer’s monthly round-ups, and I figured if I love those things that much, maybe you do too. My numbers consistently showed that that was true too!

Since it’s been almost a year since I wrote last, I obviously won’t recap EVERYTHING. That would take forever, and without an intense look through my photos and social media and journal from the year I’m not sure I’d even remember them all. (Thanks, brain injury! #stillbitter)

Instead, here are some snippets from my year:

• The biggest news of all: I finished my book! It’s coming out May 1st, 2019 and it is so queer and so personal and still (I hope!) such a great educational tool as you start or continue on your own tarot journey.

• Little Red Tarot decided to archive, cutting short the series that led to the above book. I’ll be doing a Queering the Tarot article a month on my Patreon, which is open for wide release on Monday. I am at peace with this decision and the beauty of the site archiving on Samhain was not missed. I decided to take this as an opportunity to get back into doing things my own way for awhile, and see what exciting new opportunities that leads to this time. The archived Little Red site is here.

• The Column has also decided to archive. I’m still struggling with that, in part because I fell absolutely in love with doing regular arts journalism and haven’t found a new outlet yet in spite of pitching and applying for a few spots. I trust my writing skills and my ability to manifest, and I have so, so much respect for my editor. The struggle is completely in “how to move on” and not any anger or frustration AT ALL. Andy Birkey worked so hard for so long and made this beautiful thing that I’ll never forget being a part of. My past arts journalism can still be found here as the website looks for their best archival options.

• I’ve taught several tarot classes this year. Many Queering the Tarot, Tarot 101 for Creatives and Sex and Tarot as well as a Tarot for Spiritual Use and a handful of others. As a response to those classes, I’ve also got some unique workbooks and an E-Zine in my tarot shop on this website that you can check out.

• Theatre mostly went on hold while I healed, and that’s legitimately okay. I still performed improv a few times, put together a Drunk Queer History or two, and put together an amazing Board of Directors for Gadfly. I also got a very generous grant for my dream show: [Working Title]: 60 Queer Plays in 90 Queer Minutes. That goes up in March and trust me when I say it is a freaking dream team of writers, cast, and crew so far.

• I fulfilled a lifelong dream of performing stand-up comedy and I apparently was good at it? I was VERY bitten by that bug and while I haven’t done it since, one of my upcoming projects is to scope out other opportunities that feel safe and daring at the same time to perform at.
  
  

Same adorable cat.

In some ways, things haven’t changed that dramatically. This was a hard year in both my personal and my medical life, and the past two months have been very trying professionally. Yet I still wake up in the bed I love so much every morning, next to my cats who I adore, in the same apartment I fell in love with two years ago. My queerplatonic partner is still my person, and some of the same people who have ALWAYS held it down for me still do. I am still doing the things I love for a living, by some God’s grace. This was a year of good-bye and of death. It was a year of huge change and very dramatic scenes. It was also a year of rest and recuperation though. Most importantly, it was still a year of love, laughter, and at times, out and out silliness. I am grateful to my core, to the deepest part of myself for these things. I feel gratitude into my bones and oozing out of my pores. I haven’t felt this in a long time, and I hate what it took to get me here. I’m here now though.

My book cover! So great!

As I look forward:

I see my first book being released. I see my dream show going up. I see more time in this wonderful apartment with more of the people who make it and Minneapolis a home for me. I see a successful Patreon and while I don’t know where or what they will be, I do see more really great writing gigs in my future. I see some other more ambiguous ideas right now too: a podcast, more theatre, some vague ideas for adventures. I see such lovely clients and collaborators, especially at my steady gigs like the Eye of Horus, The Future, and Gadfly Theatre Productions. I’m eager to add to that roster too, but I can wait.

I’m also facing something really hard and scary in this Pagan year.

I don’t know when or if I’ll be ready to talk about it, but I will say that I have decided to seek treatment for vaginismus as well as any underlying causes for it. It’s really hard and scary and I have cried every day for the past two weeks as I wait for the right doctors to call me back. I’m keeping things close to the chest regarding writing or talking about it, at least currently. I live most of my life VERY out loud so that others will know they are not alone. I am not in a place to be of service regarding vaginismus right now though. I am not equipped practically or emotionally to answer questions or shoulder other people’s confessions. I don’t know if I could have admitted that before my brain injury. That injury has taught me so much about rest and focus on self. Maybe I’ll just need an outlet and it’ll be this blog after all. Maybe not.

In any case, that is another very important answer to the question of “Where Am I Now?” Because where I am IS hopeful, excited, and well-rested. I am also facing the realities of what happens when you have Avoidant Personality Disorder and a really painful, terrifying problem like vaginismus. Where I am is also petrified, wanting to run and hide, and kicking myself for letting my AvPD convince me to wait this long. I am so emotional about this. There’s not another way to put it. That is where I am though, and that is what I’ve been carrying as I work to build this blog and it’s readership back up.

I obviously don’t want to end on that note!

SO here’s some happier stuff that I’m super into at the moment:

Current Fave Tarot Deck: The Numinous Tarot

Currently Reading (and Loving): Calypso by David Sedaris

Currently Watching: The Good Place, Charmed, and How to Get Away With Murder most vehemently.

Current Fave Movies: The new Halloween which I LOVED and Colette which I can not and will not ever shut up about. To think I used to not like Kiera Knightley?! Honestly what was wrong with me?

Current Favorite Websites: Them is what I read most often. I also like this article about traveling while arthritic.

Current Favorite Recipe: This really easy cucumber salad: Chopped cucumbers, feta cheese (I dump like half of a crumbled brick in there but most people probably use about half of that), and Garlic Expressions salad dressing. Plus whatever else I have on hand. Handful of onions or a couple croutons or whatever is there that meshes. SO good, easy, and relatively cheap once you have a bottle of dressing on hand.

Current Music: Sparrow by Jump, Little Children (the whole dang album), and I still can’t stop with Janelle Monae’s Dirty Computer or Brandi Carlile’s By The Way, I Forgive You.

Most Recent Adventure I’m Still Raving About: This place is so much better and weirder and creepier than I ever could have imagined. I promise.

Thank you all so much for being here and sharing this time and space with me. I’ve missed you all! Please feel free to comment below with what you are up to or what you’re most excited about post-Samhain/Halloween!

Blessed be, y’all!

Return of the Blog + A Radical Patreon Launch

Dearest Readers,

As you may know, I bonked my head pretty badly all the way back in January and had to put this blog, my work in theatre, and a number of other things on hold. As I’ve recovered, I’ve learned a lot about myself and the process of making art and writing and being a witch in the real world.

I’ve learned that sometimes your physical health has to come first. I know as much as I blog about mental and physical illness it may seem weird that I didn’t know that. I knew it on some intellectual level, but I was still running myself ragged and just adding time and energy consuming body-care tasks to my ever growing list of things to do. That’s not prioritizing your health. I get it now.

I’ve learned that I absolutely love theatre and that sometimes you need time to take a breathe and see a bunch of shows, read a lot of blogs, and think about your craft and what you want from it before you dive in and try to get all fiesty and creative.

I’ve learned that being a witch means it’s okay and even profound to learn to harness “darker energies” and to ask for selfish things (like personal healing from a traumatic brain injury or you know, whatever). I have always felt a call to dead people and underworld energies that I was so afraid to call my own. I’m not afraid anymore.

I’ve learned that I hate organizing anything that isn’t art. Like. Hate it. I want there to be voices and spaces for emerging tarot readers and witches, but I don’t need to kill myself to create that. I have lots to give and offer without taking on a role that no longer suits me (and perhaps never did).

I’ve learned to expect the unexpected when it comes to who is there for me and who isn’t. People I thought were my soul mate friends disappeared, and people I was on the fence about keeping in my life have come through in more ways than I could ever list here. I have no anger or bitterness in my heart for those that aren’t here now but I have learned to trust my gods that there will always be people in my corner, even if they aren’t the people I expected. I think that was supposed to be my lesson for literal years, but now it has finally hit home.

I think maybe I’ve actually learned how to prioritize. Which has unexpectedly helped everything from my work load to my eating disorder. This is never a perfect art though, so I really hope I don’t shoot myself in the foot by speaking to it!

I’ve learned that my lifestyle before this injury was completely unsustainable. I was working too, too much without ever really getting anything of value done. I was terrified of spending money to delegate out, in large part because I don’t have any. I was terrified to work less because what would I even DO? How would I even fill that time? I was terrified to go easy on myself because my identity is so wrapped up in “art, witch, Type A” that I was afraid of a total loss of identity. I needed to learn this maybe most of all. I was exhausted for literal years before this, even as I stuck to my guns on sleeping eight hours a night and drinking a whole lot of water. Honestly, even as I get back to myself, I still feel exhausted when I think about jumping into any semblance of my old life.

Which brings me to the point of this whole post. I’m starting a Patreon soon, and I’m really, really excited about it. It’s community style so even at the $1 level you will get full benefits. This will allow me to donate to causes I care about and people in my community who really need it. It will also allow me to work on the work I am best at and most passionate about. Hopefully I will soar past my first goal and be able to buy some decent recording and editing equipment so I can bring you podcasts and video content about tarot, the occult, art and my queer, chronically ill life as it pertains to all of the above.

As part of this Patreon, I am emphasizing my work to make tarot accessible-not only in content by exploring what the tarot has to say to marginalized people or others who have trouble relating to it, but even in price and the ability to learn easily and cheaply. That means a return to this blog in addition to Patron only writing. This blog and creating theatre work have been the two things I’ve missed the most this year. My theatre life is making a slow, scheduled return that I’m sure you’ll hear all about in coming months.

The blog I am thrilled to bring back as well. I’ve had almost whole year to dream up spells, funny stories, and tarot spreads and knowledge for you. I’ve had almost a whole year to miss you all so much and am so eager to come back.

Thank you so much for rejoining me on this journey. I will absolutely post when my Patreon goes live—and I’ll be posting pretty regularly from now on.

In the meantime, Blessed Be!

Happy August, Kittens!

An example Lammas/Lughnasadh altar

Hey All!

Just a friendly witchcraft reminder: today/tomorrow (it varies per person who celebrates) is Lughnasadh or Lammas, the first of three harvest festivals this year. This sabbat is best used for: showing gratitude for the intentions you set for the year that ARE harvesting, and cutting/breaking old bad habits. With that in mind, I'm especially grateful for my adventures and shenanigans this year, an increased client docket + writing gig docket, an upcoming Gadfly event at one of my fave venues in town, and the two classes I'm teaching this month. What do I want to cut out or break? IMPOSTER SYNDROME. It's been 32 years. It's time to end that shit. I do cool things all the time, and the years I lost where due to PTSD and untreated chronic illness so why am I beating myself up for not hitting my stride at 25?! I've been trying to manifest confidence without ridding myself of the reasons it's blocked, so what a great way to focus my energy this Lammas!

In truth it still feels like it has been a rough year. That is a different post for a different day. Today, as we enter Lammas though, I am grateful for you, your support, and my life in general.

Now, here's where a solid work ethic, a deep lust for life and need for adventure, and witchcraft took me in July (and what they brought back to me!)

Me & my cards at Minnehaha Falls. Photo cred to Taylor Dobson.

TAROT LIFE

• I'm still SO excited in gearing up for my Queering the Tarot class at The Future and my Sex & Tarot class at The Smitten Kitten. Solidifying and prepping for that has been a big chunk of my July but it's so, so worth it.

• I saw a necessary and wonderful spike in e-mail readings in July. I'd love to keep that going, so I'll just politely leave this link here.

• I'm still at the Eye of Horus from 11:30-6 on Sundays and 3-9 on Wednesdays. I've been so happy (and busy) the past couple of months, so I'm strongly suggesting appointments if that's where you prefer to see me. If you prefer coming through just my business, that's great too! I'm reading Thurs-Saturday & Monday 1-6 P.M.

STUFF I WROTE

• The big scary thing was that I once again edited my storytelling piece about getting my period at a fancy, sterile-clean dinner party and performed it at The Big Fat Comedy Hour at Lush! This is one of my favorite shows and venues so I was terrified. I let my Avoidant Personality Disorder “win” a lot, and I'm glad I told it to shove it for this gig.

• New Queering the Tarot stuff as per usual! Here and here.

• I stepped back into my Multi-Passion Diary this month, talking about endings instead of beginnings. A lot of the focus of that Diary is what I'm working on NOW, what's happening NOW, and that's great. Closing an art gallery somewhat unexpectedly left me fairly introspective though.

THEATRE LIFE

• I was a little tired from closing the gallery, so I mostly just answered e-mail and stuff...but in reality that means Gadfly is SO SO close to announcing our fall shows (and maybe already did if you're on our newsletter. Muahaha.)

• I've also been doing this Queer Improv Jam at Huge Theater. It's such a welcoming group of people to play with. I love it so, so much. I definitely recommend a jam in your area or this one if you're queer and in the Twin Cities. No experience necessary, only participation. 

A still from Freeform's "The Bold Type," recommended below.

RECOMMENDATIONS

• My favorite writer is probably Catherynne Valente, and I acquired and gobbled up her Refrigerator Monologues so fast. It combined the prose and general brilliance of Valente with underrated and de-powered female characters from comic books. It's a quick read and holy wowza, it's a good one if you're into comics or fighting tropes like, at all.

• I really thought I would hate the board game Secret Hitler. I don't know why. I love board games. I love secrets. I love dark humor in my fight against fascism. Luckily those things won out--it's really fun if you're a board game person.

• I have The Bold Type fever--it's on Freeform or Hulu, and I'm completely hooked! If you love magazine industry, girl squads, or good old-fashioned relationship and career drama, this one's great. Part of the reason I love Supergirl so much is because it's an optimistic antidote to everything "edgy" right now, and as of now The Bold Type falls into that too.

Beautiful new secret spot near my house that I discovered with my sister.

OTHER SHENANIGANS

• I've always known one of my best friends in Minneapolis has a pool for use at his apartment building, but I don't think I really UNDERSTOOD how beautiful that makes summer until the past couple of weeks.

• Nothing makes you appreciate the large mid-sized city you navigate every day like having someone come from out of town. My siblings are my favorite people on the planet other than my queerplatonic partner. Hands down. Some people identify as a mom or a dad or a loner. I am, and have always been, and will probably always be a Big Sis. Still, life is life and I don't get to see them nearly as often as I'd like. So the best nights of my 18 year old sister and I's week long adventure were her curled up on my couch geeking out about Harry Potter and bonding over deeper stuff with me. Yet the kid got me up hiking, sight seeing, going to the beach, shopping, and eating out every day and I was exhausted by the end but wouldn't trade a second of it. We also went to Milkjam and ordered the “All of Them” so that was pretty great too.

• TINY GOAT ADVENTURE. A farmer's market in Minneapolis had baby goats we could snuggle, so I called up squad and we snuggled SO MANY BABY GOATS. FOR SO LONG. It was the best evening.

Yeah, like I would talk about tiny goats and not show you one.

That's it for me this month friends! I hope your July was sunny and wonderful, and I hope your August is even better. I've got an action packed one that includes press credentials for a major theatre festival, the birthday of one of my dearest friends, another dog-sitting adventure, annoucing half of a theatre season, finishing my next e-book (come hell or high water!), teaching two classes, and a trip to Duluth to sit in or near the lake and actually breathe. I'm hoping and praying it also includes ordering this tarot deck and seeing Stevie Nicks in concert, but we'll see how things play out. Send good vibes for me though, and you'll get lotsa great Instagram pics of both! 

Blessed be y'all!

Hell Yes or No, Thanks: Some Musings + A Spread for Clarity

*Please note, cats are not relevant. Just adorable.

I read an obscene amount of, well, everything. Books, blogs, news, cereal boxes. I say this to say that I take in a HUGE amount of information, and yes, many of those are self-help books, business advice blogs, or all of the above directly related to the metaphysical, writing itself, or theatre. Yet for as well-read on the subject of success as I am, there are countless days that no matter how many times by how many important people I am told to do certain things (IE traditional networking, refusing to barter, or applying for every opportunity) that I just can not bring myself to do things the "right way". Maybe it's because the corporation who runs a giving foundation's ethics are far and away from what my grassroots theatre company believes in. Maybe it's because undercutting my competition AND setting prices inaccessibly feel equally icky to me. Or maybe it's because I'm rocking this three-or-more chronic illness life the best way I know how and I can not physically be "out there" as much as recommended. Or maybe it's because all of us are bombarded every day with a million choices of all sizes, and as much as we'd like to, saying yes to all of them is overwhelming at best and dangerous to ourselves at worst.

Still, even in forgoing a lot of advice, I live in a beautiful three bedroom apartment in an evolving part of a substantial mid-sized city with two spoiled cats and all the gourmet coffee I can handle. This is all paid for by my tarot and writing (and occasionally my art) even though I do not do every "right" thing and yes, actively choose to do things the "wrong" way sometimes. Everything I do at this stage of my life is incredibly intentional. I know firsthand how easy it is to just get in the habit of saying yes, and until I started really doing these gut checks we're about to talk about, I too ended up embarking on even major projects or ventures that I had no real desire to be in. I've known many people who've spent years saving up for something only to realize they didn't even want it that bad. Or who built a career and realized they hated their daily routine even if they loved their field. Or who looked at their calendar and realized they've been sleeping with someone who bores them out of their mind for eight months. (!!!)

Like anything else, there's a million different ways to address these various crossroads, and my way may not work for you at all. When I work with clients, however, and when I'm at a crux myself, I navigate all of these decisions from innocuous social life dilemmas to major life changes with two painfully simple questions. These are, in my experience, the ONLY questions most need to ask themselves when faced with basically any choice.  Before we start looking at that though, decision making usually requires getting into a good headspace first. I rarely recommend making decisions in the heat of the moment unless you are 1000% sure of the upcoming questions (though that does happen) immediately. So instead of pushing yourself to decide right then, wait until your next batch of meditation/prayer/solo time,  and take several deep, calming breaths. Clear your mind completely. If you need to light incense, pull your cat into your lap, or cover yourself in Florida Water, do that. Once calm, think about the choice or opportunity in front of you. Then ask yourself these two questions--and only these two questions.

"First of all, is this opportunity even possible?" This question is so simple but often goes unchecked. When anything comes your way and you're interested enough to consider it though, this is a necessary step. "Can I do this?" HOWEVER, it is so so crucial that we do not confuse that for either "Can I do this easily?" OR "If I rearrange my whole life including everything that's important to me, is this technically possible?" This step can and should include your emotional and spiritual reality, and shouldn't drain your savings (unless you're really, really okay with that) or uproot everything you hold sacred. Sometimes you can't say yes, as rad as it would be, and it's best to just quit here and not get ahead of yourself. Do I have whims where I think "sell all your name brand clothes and move to a shack in the desert and read tarot on a Pay What You Can basis?" Of course I do. Can I actually do that without losing the things most important to me or with everything going on with my health? Um, no. So I indulge the fantasy for a bit, and move on. Alternatively, my theatre company reached an impasse about the best way to grow last fall when the issue of securing our own venue came up. It was a big change, but with some creative restructing and a hard commitment to marketing rentals when we weren't using the space, we realized this could be done, and we're much happier now than we were two years ago.

If you get through that step and it turns out you CAN do the thing that's been suggested or offered to you, the next question is even more obvious, but we do so, so often getting bogged down in habit or people-pleasing. The next (and final) question is, of course, "Do I WANT to do this?" Clients are often shocked at how quickly they don't even need the cards to make the decision if I start by questioning their own desires or motives towards a choice. Usually when you quietly, earnestly ask yourself if you WANT to do the thing, the answer comes screaming into your gut with a pretty fierce strength. In the above examples, no, I don't actually want to give up coffee shops on every corner for that quiet (and hot) of a life. But I did desperately want a home for my theatre company to root in. I didn't realize how much I wanted that until I asked if I wanted it. That check in brought into fruition wants, needs, and determination I didn't even know I had, making it one of the most formative things I did last year.

What about the times you get stuck though? What if you know you truly, desperately need this opportunity but it really doesn't seem possible? Or what if you don't actually know what the question is--you know your business needs to evolve in some way but you aren't sure what that looks like? And of course, what if you have absolutely no actual idea if you can do or even want this? That's is, as it so often is, where the tarot comes in.

                         *Featuring the Modern Spellcaster's Tarot from Llewellyn.*

This a really simple spread that can be adjusted to be more specific. In this case, let's look at a sample question that has no bearing on my life right now, so I'm not inclined to overpersonalize things. Our sample question is: "Should I spend the money/time/energy to take this class?"

The first row is the "CAN I" row. The first card is "As it stands now, can I take this class?" The Devil is a rough one to get right out of the gate. Traditional tellings would say no, this class is a distraction or a temptation. If you read the queer/modern/non-Christian version of the Devil though, it could be a necessary indulgence. It could throw you off your immediate track temporarily, but that's likely a good thing. So the rest of this row becomes important. The middle card shows us what needs to change or move to make the thing possible. You WILL get cards that show heartbreak or negativity here, in which case across the board this is likely a no. In our sample case though, we got the King of Cups. Things actually can be moved in the direction of you taking this hypothetical class. In this case, you might need to actually speak with or reach out to someone who has taken the class who cares about and supports you, or you might need to reach out to the instructor if there are any bureaucratic issues with getting into the class. In any case, dig deep and find your own creative prowess and love of the subject--that's what's going to make the difference. The last card in this row, that Page of Cups, shows what's already working in favor of you making this choice. In this case, a base knowledge, a love of the subject, and an encouragement towards indulgence all give you something to grab on to should you move forward.

The second row is the "Do I want this?" row. Again, we start with a basic yes/or no for the first card. With the Queen of Cups there's a definite argument that you've actually wanted this for awhile, but are trying to play it cool and not get your heart set on it. The middle card shows us why you're having some blocks understanding your desires. The three of cups shows us that you might've been let down by group settings before, or that you might often deny yourself happiness or growth or camaraderie in this area of your life. The third card in this row shows us what you truly want. This is the heart of why you're considering this. It shows a desire not being nurtured. In this case, the Queen of Wands, there's a true passion for whatever subject the class is in, and a need to do something independent of your squad/partner/kids. This card is crucial because if at the end of this spread your answer is no, THIS card tells you where to go and what you need to pull into your life.

That final card on the side shows the final word on the matter. This is the make or break card, that sums up whether you should do the thing at hand. Obviously with a King of Pentacles here this non-existent class is a loud, clamorous, resounding yes--and the card has it's own reasons (Invest in yourself! Root in your community! Master a thing!) but it also takes everything else in the spread into account.

At the end of this entire process--whether you needed the spread or not, you should be left with one of two options: a hearty "hell yes" that gets your eyes big and your heart racing, or a polite but firm "no, thanks though." I live my entire life by this philosophy, and it's how I manage multiple careers that I love, a solid social life in spite of being deeply introverted and socially anxious, and a profound love of free-spiritedness and life itself. I get stuck though, and know we all do--so use the hell out of this spread (but please credit me if you write about it or repost) and feel free to let me know how any of your crossroads shake out when you do!

Blessed be, y'all!

We Are All Fledglings Now

Some of this you've already seen if you follow me on Instagram, but as I continue on my path learning the Slow Holler tarot, and as things around us seemingly dissolve into Chaos, I am pulling the Fledgling much more than I ever pull the Fool, and much more than I did when I first got the deck.

First though, about the Slow Holler: this is a deeply spiritual tarot deck, rooted in Southern and queer identity, and I've truly relished my time getting to know it. It was collaboratively drawn and written by several different artists, and it takes me right back to my early days of tarot and witchery when there was this constant sense of spiritual power right underneath my feet. It's also deeply concerned and enlightening regarding two other things that have shaped the very core of who I am: trauma, and the fight for the collective. Grab your copy here. It's so, so worth it.

As this card starting coming up with unusual frequency for me, my initial thoughts were as such: the Fledgling is the Slow Holler's take on the classic Fool card, but a fledgling is not the same as a fool. They are both starting journeys, but whereas the Fool's optimism comes from a sense of naivety or a childlike fearlessness, the Fledgling's cautious optimism comes because they know that while now is a time for bravery, it doesn't mean you won't fail. It simply means you will find your feet again if you do and grow from there. The Fledgling does a lot more feeling for firm ground and a lot less running towards cliffs, but they still charge ahead into the unknown. The Fool is starting a journey and the Fledgling is starting something more. We don't know what yet. The Fledgling doesn't know what yet. But as the events of this week plunge us equally into determination and uncertainty, there is no clearer metaphor for the role of an activist right now. You will flounder, and you will not be sure, and you may lose. But you will regroup, and you will get your land legs back, and you will do great things again.

It feels like the lessons of the Fledgling were clear to me. Take chances. I am learning the lay of a new land, so be careful, but be brave. The card keeps coming up and keeps coming back to me though, and today as I pulled it even for my daily draw on my Instagram it finally hit me. The world at large is the priority right now, but it's not the only thing that exists. Our microcosms are still here, supporting us, loving us, empowering us. Yet in our daily lives, we still hold back. If there was ever a time to not though--this is it. What if instead of keeping your creative power tightly wrapped around your intellect you completely unfurled it and let it take over your current project? What if instead of finishing your routine to-do list you took two days a week to scrap it to work the big, scary projects instead? What if instead of keeping our heart so tightly in your chest you said "screw what everyone else thinks," ripped it out and let it bleed your power and love all over everyone you care about? We don't know what tomorrow's going to look like anymore--and maybe there's a lesson here in how we never really did. So why wait? Why hold back? Why sit and wonder and wish instead of doing? We are coming back from marches and meetings so on fire--use that. Use it. Use it. Use it.

The Fledgling wants us to be an activist, an advocate, an ally, to be as queer and brazen as we have it in us to be right now, but everyone I know is doing that. I have seen an outpour of collective action that I never anticipated, people who argued with me about marches inviting me to them now, and that's amazing. That's wonderful.  The Fledgling has more to say though, because this is a new world, and everything we know is upside down. Yet, for now, at least, life still goes on. What does it mean to work and create in this new world? And my god, can you imagine what love could be in this new world? The Fledgling is screaming at us to let go, let loose, right now, and find out. Because if we let go and spread these wings we think are so small, we just might find out how close we are to flying.

Blessed be.

HEY MY BLOG SEEMS TO WORK AGAIN

Just some happy cards about love and creation and stuff from the Wild Unknown tarot.

Hey all!

I had so many blog ideas this month and Squarespace was like "nah, you don't actually need into your website." It's finally back up though, so many, many thanks to those who sent healing or "get your act together" vibes to my website. I will obviously have more to say later, but in the meantime:

• I am still enrolling private coachees who want to learn the tarot in a way that allows for hyper-personalization, quick learning of new decks acquired, and favors YOU over traditional images and keywords that may mean nothing to you. $50 a session, three months commitment required. Lots of homework.
• Starting in February my standard hours are shifting. I will only be at the Eye of Horus Wednesdays 3-9 (and occasional substitutions), and I will be reading at my own studio 12-5 on Mondays and Thursday-Sundays.
• In any case, email snow.cassandra@gmail.com for lessons, email readings, or appointments, and follow me here, here, or here for lots of tarot and solopreneur info. Newsletter sign-up is here and I only hit you up once a month unless something really awesome (or terrible) is happening.

So good to be able to post again. I should have a few things on TheColu.mn later this month as well as a new-to-Little-Red-peeps Queering the Tarot next week. Until next time!

Cassandra

Quiet Times at the Blog

Photo credit: http://www.melissahessephotography.com/

Hello all! I know I've been so quiet lately that I even missed doing my end of month wrap-up, but I assure you it's because I've been hard at work at tarot events, running theatre events, and perhaps with a surprise or two up my sleeve over the next few weeks. In the meantime, here's some things to be aware of:

• I still have a handful of gift certificates left for the holiday season! Any size reading, e-mail or in person, AND if you buy three or more, YOU get a free basic e-mail or 15 minute in person reading!
• I can take a few students for my 3.5 month coaching sessions starting in January.
• There's definitely a special going on for newsletter peeps. Sign up here to read back issues and see for yourself!
• Mercury retrograde is coming, so I can't promise I'm turning this blog ship around and back into sturdy waters, but I have missed it!

In the meantime, if you're still looking for gifts, check out the actual gift guide I did write here.

Blessed be!