I Stand With Black Lives Matter

I live in Minneapolis, MN which most of you reading know. This is close to where Philando Castile was murdered by cops. This happens way too often in this country and while the events in Dallas are tragic, that sniper was in no way connected to the Black Lives Matter movement and does not change the fact that black people and other POC live in constant fear for their lives in our country. The protests and solidarity marches happening nationwide are largely peaceful, with violence breaking out usually either due to police action or because of outside agitators with their own agenda (usually white anarchists who end up fleeing the scene, leaving POC and actual allies to clean up their messes and take the brunt of the blame). Black Lives Matter has but one agenda: for the police forces, court systems, and wider government at large to start treating black people like people. I am heartbroken and devastated that no matter how many black lives we lose nothing changes and so many will still chalk it up to something not racist or blame the victims themselves. Castile was revered in the school district he worked. People trusted their own families with him, he had no record, he had a hero of a partner who stayed brave in the face of his murder and her own bullshit arrest. But those facts shouldn't matter. No one deserves to die for busted taillights, for selling CDs or cigarettes, for holding a toy gun. No one. I am angry. I am heartbroken. I am praying to every diety that will listen for change (though I am taking action and supporting protesters as well) for Castile to be a tipping point. But it isn't about me, and I don't want to center my voice. So please check out these links-this very special edition link round-up.

From Black and POC Writers:
Where does a healer's anger go? A must-read for fellow witchy types.

How to Process Your Emotions but Skip the White Tears.

Fact based articles and livestreams.

28 Racist Reactions and Behavior (and how to overcome them)

A QTPOC roundtable over at Autostraddle.

Poetry. Because art is important.

From Allies:
Girl Boss Woo puts so plainly into words what I've been trying to express to other solopreneurs.

Important to understanding how infrastructure helps white people at the expense of black people and what we mean when we say that.

Actual facts and stats on actual disparities.

For Donating:
As a white ally, the number one thing you can besides getting out and putting your body and yourself on the line is donating either supplies or money for bail and protest needs or to help victim's families get or stay on their feet. To donate supplies, see where a protest is happening near you. Ask what they need. I know in the Twin Cities bug spray, blankets, and extension cords so the revolution can continue to be broadcast from someone other than mainstream media, so start there if you have no ideas. Otherwise, here are the funds for bail or victim's families:

Minneapolis/St. Paul bail, legal fees, etc. fund for activists.

Amo Mohamed's bail fund. A very important organizer and voice in the movement.

Lavish Reynold's (Castile's partner) Go Fund Me.

Baton Rouge Bail Fund.

And finally, a (respectful, non-dismissive) giggle:
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Until next, Blessed Be. Oh, also this.

Quickie Relationship/Crush/Friendship Check In

Relationships are tough, but so much of the advice I give ends up advising people AGAINST overanalyzing and thinking things to death. There are several spreads to check in with various relationships that are 7-10 cards (or more), but often what "solves" the problem is a quick, sudden insight, so I designed a simple, four card spread instead. This way if the issue is a simple one of communication, insecurity, or decision-making, we trust our intuition and cut to the heart of the matter. It looks like this:

Lay down the spread in this order: 1) Your left, 2) your right, 3)center top, 4)center bottom

The spread is so simple, as promised. The two on the sides represent where each party is in general in their lives. The one on your left is YOU and where you are right now in life. The one on your right is where the other party you're inquiring about is. This placement is important even when dealing with a soul mate, twin sister, or someone you're building a life with, you are still dealing with two individuals, and advising as if you are one entity can do more harm than good and open the doors to co-dependence and a host of other not-helpful behaviors. In addition to showing where each party is, the sides also show what aspects of yourself, your identity, and your individuality you are bringing into the relationship the strongest, for better or worse.

The card on top is where the relationship is currently headed. This is the outcome if nothing changes. If it's a positive outcome, then sometimes knowing things are ending up well is enough to pull us through the slump. If not, then we use our final card, which is our card of advice, to turn the energy back to the way it's supposed to be, or to cope and communicate effectively to stay on track. If the current outcome is NOT desirable, then that advice card is obviously about how to turn it around to get a different result, or how to cope if the reading shows the relationship really shouldn't continue.

It should go without saying, but just in case, this spread can be used in ANY kind of relationship--if you're fighting with a parent, a boss, or a friend, it is every bit as effective. I've done several test runs, and it works out as often as my other favorites.

Enjoy, and please report back if you have any feedback or ideas.

Blessed be!

June 2016--Halfway Through Another Rollercoaster Year

My Northeast Night Market setup. (Ignore the rope--we had to tie the tent down!)

For someone who strives for balance and serenity, the past few years have had me all over the place in terms of the earthly events and external energies I was working with. This June was particularly tumultuous, and I am ready for a break! My queerplatonic partner lost their job through no fault of their own, all while we're house hunting to no avail (which is stressful in it's own right), and my rheumatologist put me back on two of my most loathed arthritis drugs at the same time. Certainly tumultuousness does not imply all negative things though, and for that I am grateful. I have three really exciting things to report soon, but in the meantime, here are some of my other June highlights.

• Theatre Life: Gadfly Theatre Productions, my heart and soul, put up a really wonderful geeky one-act festival on the theme "Heroes and Villains." Everything we do is through a queer and feminist lens, and I was particularly proud of how envelope pushing this year's was. If you missed it and want to relive it, here's some reviews I have mixed feels about but give you a sense of what both Set A and Set B where like. And check out these super cute photos from Set B rehearsals and outtakes.

Alyssa Perau & Cayla Marie Wolpers backstage of Set B/Armando Ronconi rehearsing on stage.

• Tarot Teamwork! Northern Lights Witch and I worked two events together this month to drum up new clients and get her name out there as a reader and reconnect with some "event" clients of mine. One we worked with another reader I adore, and unfortunately the event itself kind of flopped. Northeast Night Market however was a blast--and NLW and I had a hilarious beer-fueled night attempting to hand make signs for it even though we are NOT artists. Laughter + connection are so key when doing spiritual or social justice work though, so even if our signs didn't last the night was definitely necessary. I was also thrilled to work with two soloprenuer friends of mine for a fundraiser at one of my favorite bars. Finally, in case you missed my post, I rounded out the month by organizing a Metaphysical Pride booth with many of my favorite LGBTQ+ metaphysical practicioners reading with us or selling goods. I normally only do one to two events a month, often private ones I wouldn't blog about, but this month I really felt inspired to connect with other readers and new clients, so I got my butt moving and did so! I forgot how exhausting event life is, so I'm happy to retreat back now that the June event frenzy is past, but I have no regrets about putting so much of time and energy there this month.
• Taught my Queering the Tarot workshop at Eye of Horus--I had a small but good crowd, and fall more in love with sharing my material with others every time.
• Things I Wrote: Nothing substantial to report beyond my Queering the Tarot and it's reprints, but I was pretty fond of this spotlight on a local improv group I love too, especially since I got to see them live right before I sat down and wrote it.
• Other Things I Loved:
  • My friend anniversary with some dear friends took me to Northern Spark, an all nights art festival of lights that always has a bunch of really cool movement work.
  • Lake weather! Lake shores are where I basically live, weather and mosquito infestations pending, and it took Minnesota awhile to get there, but finally I can have my water, earth and strange critter assortment all at once whenever I have a free hour or seven.
  • The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats) was my favorite thing I read this month. I can take reading really seriously but this one let me goof off and just enjoy an hour of my day. On the flip side, Harvey Pekar and Joyce Brabner's Our Cancer Year broke my heart in all the best ways.
  • Arts and crafts night afternoon with a dear friend and her teen daughters, lazy days with my cats, Pssy Ctrl, and my temporary giant king bed all made my month even better.

One of my favorite pieces at Northern Spark.

In addition to all of this hectic but amazing (and the aforementioned less amazing, uber stressful stuff) I am also dealing with a ton of emotional stuff. It's mostly good--growth, change, blah blah blah, but it's been a wild 30 days. However, it's been a really great time to test myself, whether I intended it to be that or not, so I am excited to see where we head next. Hopefully I'll be reporting a wonderful new duplex and some major growth in several of my careers, and I know I'll have some grand or silly adventures to report on. In the mean time, feel free to snag some email readings or schedule and in person session, and until then,

Blessed be, my loves!

Pride Gets Witchy in Minneapolis

 Checking out Pride from the back, on a break from reading.

Around January I realized that I wanted a witchy, weird, whimsical presence at this year's pride, and if I couldn't find one, well, then, I'd spearhead one! So I reached out to some of my favorite LGBTQ+ metaphysical practitioners, and we all chipped in on a booth and took different shifts so no one missed all of Pride or was glued to our booth the whole time.

For those not from Minneapolis/St. Paul, our Pride is the last weekend of June and takes place in Loring Park. I have a few issues with it, including the price of a booth and how prohibitive that is to a lot of local businesses. We were really blessed to all be able to fill out a schedule and chip in accordingly, but not every queer solopreneur or genuinely allied goods maker can, so it's a little frustrating. Our booth went over pretty well though. We all met a few people who took business cards or signed up for mailing lists in addition to getting readings/buying crystals/etc. My favorite part was this fancy new sign my dear friend Kate made me! 

It was a really wonderful weekend, and below are the kindred souls who worked on my booth and have websites. I wanted to keep that cooperative loving feel going via shout outs! If you like my tarot or writing about it these are some great people to know of and buy from.

Intuitive Readers:
Chuck Kausalik-Boe is a fabulous Reiki healer, and gave me a Lenormand reading a long time ago that still helps me focus my dating pool down to only the people I know will make me the happiest. While I don't know this first hand, he's also rumored to be an amazing mentor and teacher--including by some of my own students.

Susan Lynx was actually a student of Chuck's when it comes to tarot, and I am definitely hitting her up for one of these magickal massages once I have some extra cash in my pocket.

Heather Roan Robbins couldn't actually make the event but she's really the best of the best, astrology and palm wise. Honestly.

Finally, of those with websites or Facebook pages, we have a blogger I really love who came in from WI to do my event. We'd never actually met but have been following for awhile and I'm so glad I finally linked up with Queer Street Tarot.

Jane Hawkner and Sweet D show off their goods!

Metaphysical Goods
The incomparable Eye of Horus proprietor, Jane Hawkner, came by both days to sell some of her meticulously wire wrapped crystals and some bonus goods from the store. I legitimately love where I read regularly and think the products created in house are absolutely stellar in our field.

New to the events and Etsy game but already pushing out top notch wire wraps and handmade leather goods is Sweet D. She also does a really rad candle and other such folk magick, so just reach out!

One of my very favorite herbalists joined us on Sunday--Sassafras Healing and Arts makes one of my very favorite joint and muscle salves, and I was thrilled they had such a blast. As a side, they also chased away some gross evangelisers that were trying to convert some of our readers while I was away, so now they are extra rad in my book.

AND FINALLY, shout out to Northern Lights Witch who's partnered with me on a few projects now--first Grand Old Days' Beer Dabbler, and the we both had a VERY successful turn at Northeast Night Market. She's gonna be in Norway for a bit but DEFINITELY keep an eye on her blog and especially the book club, which will feature yours truly later in July!

Thanks so much to these fine people, and thanks so much to you, sweet blog readers. Until next time,

Blessed Be,

Cassandra

Tarot For Anyone! A Quick Learning Trick

While I've been reading tarot for over a decade (weeps about aging forever) I still employ this trick every time I pick up a new deck, before I even look at the book or anything. Most readers do this, but lately I've been talking to a few super new on or still just considering a tarot path who get super caught up in "how am I ever gonna memorize this book?" The short answer is it takes time, but you will. Just dilligently work on it nearly every day for awhile.

BUT the great news is you can still find a lot of use in your cards by just looking at the picture, and gleaning what there is to glean artistically from them. This is particularly true for advice questions. "What should I do" is quickly answered by seeing what the figure in the picture is doing. "What's my next step" can be answered by looking at the picture overall--again, likely what the figure is doing, but there can be some other giveaways too. If you know symbols really well, animals featured could be giving you a sign based on your interpretation of those animals. Colors, runes, various constellations, etc. etc. could all be doing the same thing. Questions of "Who" can also be answered by going directly off the traits, attitude, or energy of the figure on the card.

For example, in the photo above, it's fine if you have no clue what the (fabulous) book from this Book of Shadows: As Above deck says about this card. It's easy to assess that you have some crystals poking out of the corner, some bright purple flowers, a gnome relaxing in their element. The instrument might stand out to you if you're a creative or especially musical person, and that beam of sunlight across the card has always struck me.

So if I had asked "What should I do about my financial situation?" I would assess based on the relaxed gnome and all the Earthly things blooming around them that I should just relax, because I had already put myself in a good position and news was coming. Or if I saw the instrument first, I would think that utilizing my creative talents for money was my next strategy. If I had asked a more spiritual question such as "What is my soul needing", some time around music, in sunlight, or possible some crystal or plant healing would come to me as the answers.

Another example so you can see how cards work together, is based off the above. (In reality the odds of this pair showing up together in a well shuffled deck is a little slim, but hey.) A question I've been grappling with lately is "What keeps holding me back?" and "Where do I go from here?" If I needed some basic guidance to these questions and pulled these two cards from my Prisma Visions tarot I would see that Skull, the word Emperor, and the cacophony of color around it. I would discern based on the animal that my own stubbornness was killing me, and from the colors that my mind was too scattered to make much sense of the things going on. Meanwhile the "Where do I go from here?" card shows a woman embracing the light, elevating herself, almost above the solid ground she's built. She is bright against a dark background. While with a seeker other than myself I might have trouble putting it into words, I think the image does speak for itself--look towards the positive, the light. Look ahead. The gold and yellow give us a strong sense of newness and freshness, and this would be about embracing and accepting the new.

Tarot is so frequently seen as this big, scary huge 78-things-to-learn process, but you can utilize the art and the keywords to provide yourself the guidance you need as you work on memorizing in more traditional ways. I'd love to hear more beginner's tips and tricks, and will for sure have more unfold over the course of this blog.

Until next time,
Blessed Be

My May Wrap Up! (A week late, but...)

Hello beautiful readers! Thank you so much for continuing to bear with me as my schedule and health make my posting schedule a little erratic. I'm really happy about those of you who have sought me out or have been keeping up here. SO here is a little bit about where I've been:

• I'm still watching this little guy (Parker) in this cute little yard and am for June too, which means...(UGH) house hunting time is upon me since the man who's house and dog this is will want his life back when he's back from Italy.
• I put together a one-act festival (with my business partner and our managing director, of course)! Which meant many silly prop adventures, rehearsal, tech, and now we are happily situated in performance mode. Check us out this weekend if you haven't!

Postcard image for my one act festival! Image by Edie Berry.

• Remembered "me time" and "QPP time" are essential to my well being. Game nights, afternoons reading in the yard, and many adventures in my favorite neighborhoods of the city abounded.
• Read at the Eye of Horus a couple times a week still. I love this store and my "work family" so much. A lot of us are having a really hard time and instead of being annoyed or getting crappy at our jobs like a lot of places I've worked or had steady gigs, everyone's looking out for each other. Plus my clients there are some of the smartest, realistically idealistic, life-affirming people I know. I've left more than one shift feeling as touched by my clients as I hope they are by me.
• This one adventure in particular where my friend Paul had a really bad day so we ended up getting kicked out of a bar (it's not as cool as it sounds--it was a stolen wallet/therefore no ID issue) that was really hilarious and reminded me how crucial belly laughs are for healing from crappy days.
• WTF Comics Club meant I officially stopped putting off Neil Gaiman's Sandman. This was a nice primer and I'm so ready to jump in now.
• I learned to etch glass and made glasses for Gadfly! They turned out so cute and I'm so excited about learning a new thing.
• GADFLY SOLD OUT A SHOW! This has only happened twice before, in smaller venues than this. But we filled Bryant Lake Bowl and even had to turn people away! (Including some good friends of mine, which I still feel bad about). It was our sporadic Drunk Queer History event where a drunk storyteller tries to teach about important moments in queer history, and then improv artists have to act it out based solely on the storyteller's take. It's the most fun and it keeps succeeding, so we're going to keep doing it.
• I SAW HEART AND JOAN JETT LIVE. IT WAS AMAZING. The concert was in Hinckley, and two of my very best friends (this super cute vegan married couple who run their own farm) and I made the trek and had a blast. I always adore Joan Jett, but Heart shocked me with how amazing the were live.

Me waiting for Heart in Hinckley. SO WORTH THE WAIT.

• THEN came tech week, which bleeds over into June a little, and is also why this is late. In addition to tech-ing FIVE shows, we also did a fundraiser at one of my favorite pizza places. To theme it to the shop and our festival, our managing directors brought little Batman mask cut outs and things. AND My dear friend Taylor let me play with these glasses, which gave us some much needed giggles.

That's basically it! I had some adventures, some quiet nights in (they were necessary), and I kicked two bucket list concerts and one "to read/to start reading" off my list in addition to my client docket, promoting a festival, putting together a festival, running a fundraiser, writing about arts and tarot and such, and taking care of three animals who do NOT get along. WHEW. I am so unbelievably grateful for the love people shared with me this month though. With my health the way it is, I honestly wondered if I could pull all of this off--then my friends started dropping off food, my company members started excusing me from rehearsals I didn't need to be at, and my queerplatonic life partner bought me a couple cute dresses and pulled more than the necessary weight to make sure it all worked out since it was my health on the fritz this time. I am dumbfounded by how blessed and loved I feel, and so, so, so grateful that the feeling overwhelms me and brings me near tears constantly. THANK you if you were a part of my super chaotic May, and if not--wishing you all the blessings I have found.

Finally, my additional reading recommendations are: any of Anna Bongiovanni's printed 'zines or collections, The Fairyland Series by Catherynne Valente (Finally finished the final one and literally cried for an hour because it was over. And because it was beautiful), and How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accent by Julia Alvarez.

Watching Recommendations: I literally only care about Orphan Black right now.

Until next time!

Blessed Be,

Cassandra Snow

Queering The Tarot: IRL Workshop

I'm so excited, y'all! On June 19th from 12-2:30 P.M. I am doing my "Queering the Tarot" workshop AND I'm doing it at my steady tarot gig, Eye of Horus. While I've done this workshop several times, I'm so pumped to be doing it in such a renowned environment that I love so much. If you're interested, here are the deets:

"This is a beginner-to-intermediate tarot workshop about reading for LGBTQQIAP+ querents (or as an LGBTQQIAP+ person.) The workshop examines how card interpretations and applications are different for queer seekers and encourages participants to think critically about how life circumstances, spirituality, and the institutions of our society that are present in the tarot are challenged by and challenging to people who are not both straight and cisgender. The workshop is part lecture, but also requires participation and critical thought among attendees. Queering the Tarot welcomes readers at all levels, but experience or basic knowledge of the cards provides a stronger platform for challenging tarot standards. "Queer" in this class is body and sex-positive, poly-inclusive, embraces non-binary identities and thinking, and is anti-patriarchy, and as such addresses the tarot's guidance on these ideas. Allies and queer tarot lovers alike are encouraged to come learn an alternative approach to tarot. Participants should bring a tarot deck they feel comfortable with, paper and pen/pencil, and an open mind."

Facebook event is here, and You can sign up here! Unfortunately, this class is only for people who live or can get to Minneapolis, MN. While traveling with this workshop or doing a telecast/webcast are dreams of mine, this one is in person, in Minneapolis.

Until next time,

Blessed be.

Your Magical Forecast For the Week + Where to Find Me

Hey Friends! I'm trying out something new this week, which is kind of the name of the game on this blog. I love doing deck and book reviews, as well as just general musing and blogging, but I want to offer some further insight into what the week has in store astrologically/magickally/etc. This way if you don't know what to get a reading about OR just want to know how to make the most of your days, you'll have some extra input.

As a reminder, we start this week with our five planets still in retrograde: Mercury, (the doozy), Saturn (pretty common--most of us effected minimally), Mars, Jupiter, and Pluto--which is still a planet astrologically, even if science has abandoned it :P This means communication could be difficult or even miserable at this time, so certainly readings about interpersonal communications and/or how to communicate most effectively are a marvelous idea. Another great idea is spending some time figuring out how to use this energy to your benefit. It's a great time for introverts to answer some bigger picture questions, and depending on your how astrological chart it could be a positive time for soothing old feuds or finishing projects that you've been postponing.

The biggest thing though, is spring in general. Even with the planets being a little wonky, this is always a good time to clean out your closet/purse/friends list, and that in and of itself can be an act of self-care or magick. Additionally, "Spring Fever" hits many of us pretty hard, making it a prime time to connect with Mother Nature and exercise our bodies, which again, can be an act of self-care or magick in and of itself. It's also a prime time for carnal and sensual connections, so sex magick and relationship readings are aspected well.

The Moon starts the week in Cancer, so if you feel a little emotional or your inner knight-in-shining-armor starts screaming to save and take care of everyone, take a breathe and assess if these are genuine feelings rooted in something real or if it's likely just the moon. This does make these next couple of days great for those who are caretakers, starting relationships, or craving bonding moments with others. The Moon moves into Leo on Thursday, so get ready to attack some of those unfinished projects with vigor, and spend some extra self-care time on your appearance. Any haircuts, makeovers, or fitness goals are aspected well at this time. The END of the week sees the Moon in Virgo, assuring all that caretaking and throwing yourself into finishing projects is doubly well aspected for you over the weekend.

AND if you're all pumped and ready for readings in ANY line, you can find me:

At Eye of Horus Monday and Wednesday 3-9
By email on a 48 hour turnaround all week.
By appointment private appointment Thurs-Sunday.

Blessed Be,
Cassandra

No End of Month Wrap-Up for April

Hey All,

Just wanted to drop a quick note about the slight blogging hiatus. I've been really sluggish lately, and at first it was easy to chalk up to my depression, until I noticed I didn't feel depressed. I felt tired. Really, really tired. Then some other weird things happened, and long story short my thyroid is out of control right now. I love this blog, tarot, witchery, writing about it all--but I need the rest of this week and some of next to recover, and by then April will be long gone. Suffice it to say, things did turn around for me, and I love where things are headed.

You can read about queer tarot by me here and here. You can read some writing from a new friend I made here. You can support my tarot biz by ordering an email reading, making an appointment, or visiting me here. You can support my theatre biz by grabbing tickets to this, this, or marking your calendar for this.

Until next time, Blessed be.

Please send healing energy in the meantime! Much love to you all. Enjoy this gratuitous photo of my cat.

Magick Doesn't Have To Be Candles and Chanting

Last Full Moon, not this one, I was preparing a bath for physical healing and gearing up my playlist for emotional healing, my intended spellwork a simple deep breath and succumbing to the water and music. As I let the steam rise and Cher belted out "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" it occurred to me that when people starting an alternative spiritual path tell me they don't know where to start, they're likely already doing so many amazing things that already are "magick", "spellwork", or even "prayer." So this is a completely non-comprehensive list for mystical newbies of all the ways you can "start practicing" by simply noting or more purposely intending the things you already do. It's mostly meant to get your brain jogging.

• I already mentioned music--if there are songs in any genre that get you in a clear headspace, amp you up for your next project, or make you feel confident, or sexy, or grateful, sit and actually listen and take them in when you need to conjure that.
• Food! I am 99% sure that most of you reading eat at least a couple of times a day. Try planning a few meals a week super intentionally. I'm not talking about super advanced kitchen witchery which can feel intimidating, but try thinking about what food makes you feel healthy, confident, or connected to others and plan your meals around that.
• Dress more intentionally. Most people do dress somewhat intentionally for the day, but you can go something extra and mystical to your morning routine just by taking a couple of minutes to think about what you're putting on. If you're trying to attract wealth, are you allowing yourself to wear your "nicer" clothes with any regularity? Because you probably should be. If you're trying to attract love, are you wearing clothes that make you feel sexy and confident? If you're trying to heal your body are you wearing clothes that are comfortable, airy, and allow for movement? You can amp this practice up if you know color coordinates, too. Red not only helps with love and sex, but may make you feel confident and passionate about your presentation at work, for example.
• Home decor! Feng Shui gets a bad rap, in part because no one in the Western world really knows what they're doing. However, the ideas are solid and it stands to reason that the colors, shapes, and memories attached to the objects in your home make you feel a certain way when you see them. So much of my own Paganism is rooted in stone work but you don't have to keep crystals around--any tokens that make you feel confident, healing, and inspire you to manifest the things you want out of life should be visibly placed in your living space.

Those are just a couple of ways you can dip your toes into the endless pools of mysticism (and a few examples of how). Feel free to add your own below!

Blessed be, y'all.

A Late April Link Round-Up (My first one!)

I'm a huge reader and love of other people's work--I've discussed what a bibliophile I am in other posts, and I link to other blogs frequently, but lately I've read a few articles in a row that I wanted to share. Most of them come from blogs I already frequent, but these stood out to me as being useful.

To start with, we have this BEAUTIFUL Full Moon in Scorpio energy that one of my favorite online sites gives ideas for using here.

Y'all know how much I love Little Red Tarot, and I was especially taken with Beth's recent crystal clear spread for focus on Autostraddle.

Another blog I'm inspired by is Yes and Yes. It's not a tarot, metaphysical, theatre, or even pure business blog but her perspective on life and how it evolves as she gets older is pretty close to my own, and I love that most of her regular articles are about getting someone else's perspective. This article about just living your life as an inspiration is so, so wonderful. I have a lot of "life crushes" who's life I look up to in spite of being pretty fiery myself, so I related to this piece a ton.

Biddy Tarot is always teaching me something about tarot or, you know, teaching, and I picked up some info as well as teaching tips from this essential guide to tarot combos.

AND even though I described myself as "fiery" earlier I can PRETTY boring too--so here's a great piece from Bizjournals.com about staying a leader even when you've had a month like my last month.

Finally, I'm linking to an entire site of a witch who's also Minneapolis located and also primarily concerned with how the metaphysical can help Social Justice! It's already beautiful and I'm excited to see what else she does!

AND in case you missed anything going on around my little corner of the internet, here's my latest Queering the Tarot reprint, my latest Queering the Tarot, my review on a local comedy show, and a blog where I review my friend Leora's Tangled Roots Oracle deck.

Until next time--Blessed be.

Tangled Roots Oracle Review

A little while ago a wonderful witch friend gifted me an Oracle deck she wrote and made the art for. It's a first run of a locally made deck, with the added bonus of Leora gifting it to me out of love, and so I was inclined to like it anyway--but as soon as the deck hit my hand I was surprised by how right it felt that I owned this deck. I rarely connect with oracle decks that aren't slightly creepy or fairy-laden (and even those I'm picky about), so I was really excited to see what transpired as I went through it.

This gift, the Tangled Roots Oracle, was created by local artist Leora Effinger-Weintraub, and her website as well as more about the deck is here. I wasn't officially asked to do a review, which makes me feel even warmer and fuzzier about the gift, but decided to do one anyone because I truly love this deck.

Overall inspiration and connection I've already touched on this quite a bit. Originally I sat down with Leora and asked a million questions about the how and why of the deck, and it originally started as just a way for her to have a deck she truly connected to. Her spirituality comes from a certain line, and she's a woman who's soul runs very deep, and so it was hard for her to find THE one. I think it's fascinating, and confirms the adage I hear about art and story-telling, that the more personal something is, the more universal it is. Leora may have created this for herself and those like her, but something about this deck runs really deep and digs right into your own soul.

The Artwork on the Tangled Roots Oracle is so simple and beautiful. That's very true to the artist's style--she does a lot of work with lettering and simple things that make a big statement. I'd seen some of the early illustrations and knew they gave a lot of ideas in a very concise manner, with the reader's knowledge and ability to suss out symbols being pretty key. The finals in the deck added a lot of color for what seems like interest but is incredibly mood-focused. Her use of symbols is great, and since this is a deck meant to be incredibly personal, I love that the picture is of just, say, a raccoon, for example. If a raccoon means something drastically different to you than it does to Leora, it doesn't matter--there's not anything to contrast your vision on the card, so it gets to speak to you as it needs to without being confused. Simple decks are one of my greatest joys in life, don't let my Prisma Visions and Tarot of the Silicon Dawn addictions confuse you, and this is one of the best I've seen in this vein.

Card Quality: If you've been keeping up with my blog or even just hear me talk about tarot a lot, you know this can be a touchy subject for me. I don't let poor card quality ruin a deck for me, but I do find it incredibly disappointing on otherwise flawless decks. So I am very happy to report that these simple but powerful images are seated comfortably on durable but flexible cards. One of the first things I said out loud about the deck was "Oooh, good cards!" by which I meant the quality.

Overall Inclusivity is a non-issue with this deck. Leora designed this with herself and immediate inner circle in mind, but she is a proud social justice warrior like myself (I know that term is supposed to be derogatory. I just don't find it to be.) This deck relies so heavily on suggestion, symbols, and shrouded figures that I don't think anyone would feel left out by this deck, and if anything, I think the way she uses her artwork does include and pull pretty much everyone into the fold.

The Queerness Quotient then is also stellar. Leora is a queer woman, so much like the Fountain Tarot, while not an explicitly queer deck, that piece of her identity runs through it in a way that those of us looking for a deck with queerness will be satisfied. That being said, the ambiguity of this deck makes it even more welcoming of those marginalized even within our community. While the deck was designed through a certain lens, she does a really lovely job of making sure that's not the only lens it can be seen through.
 

Guide Book and Ease of Learning also hit a home run in this case. Because this is a low cost self-published deck (a rare thing in and of itself), the guide book is a simple folded pamphlet with brief interpretations of the cards. It's very straightforward, and makes it doubly clear that this deck is very Pagan and very personal. The book offers very short interpretations which further allows for the reader to build from the building block she's laid out for us. My one sort of complaint or criticism is actually that I wanted more of Leora's voice in the book. Not necessarily in the interpretations of the cards, but she had such beautiful things to say about the deck's conception and creation that I thought a thicker pamphlet with more info about the deck would've been so valuable, esp to those who might just pick it up at an event or online. This Oracle deck is very easy to learn in comparison with others. I know tarot so well that I sometimes struggle with oracle decks, but the Tangled Roots Oracle goes in a logical order, and allows for free-thinking in a way that makes it easy for anyone to at least read for themselves with.

Leora Effinger-Weintraub's Tangled Roots Oracle sounds like a vague concept, but the information if gives can be as ethereal or concise if you need it to be. I've used it for everything from a "Mind, body, spirit" check-in to a question about a practical business issue I was facing and it gave me the information I needed in all cases. There's one or two cards that did take me aback--I expressed my concern about the deck's use of wedding bands to stand-in for commitment in a day and age where that particular symbol is often still seen as one of super traditional nuclear family lifestyles as opposed to how I, and many, queer people feel about romantic and other commitment. I have the deck's first run, and the artist is taking my feedback as well as that of a few other people into account. Ultimately though, even if nothing changes on the second run, Leora has created a really sweet, beautiful deck that is deeply rooted in Pagan beliefs but still offers incredibly valuable insight regardless of your identity and faith. I can't wait to get fully "off book," and this may be one of the first oracle decks I ever use for clients. It's that good.

Again, the website is here, and I am sure those that follow it will be among the first to know when sales go live again.

Blessed be, and thank you so much to Leora, her wife Eli, and all of the amazing queer Pagans doing amazing things in their communities.

I Did A Bunch of Scary Stuff Lately

I live with pretty severe anxiety, and on top of that while I'm not super pro self-diagnosis, I'm almost positive I have Avoidant Personality Disorder. Some of the specific things I'm afraid of include (but are definitely not limited to): queer girls who are cooler than me, speaking in front of people, talking out loud about shit I've been through, asking for things, asking for money, dealing with conflict, receiving even the most well-intentioned critical feedback, and telling people out loud that I'm setting boundaries. So it might seem weird that I've chosen not one, but three career tracks (Renaissance Soul for life!) that rely heavily on engaging audiences or clients, asking for tangible support from theoretical supporters, and speaking my truth. I've managed to carve out comfort zones within that though: asking via internet, delegation when that can't be done, and setting firm boundaries and post-scary-thing self-care modules.

March and early April were rough for me for a lot of reasons, but truth be told I've been through much harder times in my life. After taking some time for self-reflection I think what wore me out SO much was how much I pushed my own boundaries, which is a good thing, but without taking extra time and effort for self-care, which is not. After realizing this, I'm really proud of some of the things I did: I directly engaged with queer girls who are WAY cooler than me. I maintained some substantial professional relationships that in the immediate rely on me asking for prolonged favors. A project failed and I had to look my collaborators in the eye and ask why. And ultimately I ended up on stage doing a story-telling feature about getting my period all over a nice restaurant in a nearby affluent suburb.

Some of the lessons I took away from this seem so basic. "Just do the scary thing" is obviously the biggest one, and I used to be a lot better about that. At some point I had enough professional colleagues or close friends to delegate scary things too and enough successes I could achieve without digging TOO deep that I really had ended up in a very comfortable place. This is such an achievement in and of itself for someone who doesn't trust people and is afraid of both fear and success in and of themselves, and it was important for me to get to that safe place to know that I COULD get to safe places in my life. But I know more than anybody that if we sit complacent for too long, we stop succeeding. So it was also important for me to get OUT of that safe place and into scary-land again. I didn't take the impetus myself, and the universe forced my hand, but it did remind me of how much more confidently I used to approach such things. Doing the things that terrify me never crushed me quite like it did this time, even when they failed, and sometimes the lesson we're meant to be learning are not new to us.

I also learned something kind of horrible: there's no easy answer to overcoming anxiety enough to succeed. There isn't. At some point my fear of continued failure became worse than my fear of talking to people, and that's what pushed me towards the scary stuff. I think getting to that point IS the point. There is no quick fix or easy answer for something that requires prolonged therapy and possibly medication. I'm not going to wake up tomorrow and feel like I fit in with hip lesbians or more successful WTFs. I'm not going to overcome my fear of criticism in a day, or by receiving positive feedback. I'm not going to conquer my all-consuming fear of failure simply by having it come true once and being okay. There aren't easy answers. Sometimes you just have to do the thing anyway. You have to reach as far inside of you as you can to summon enough strength to get through that hour, or evening, or even day. 

And know this: everyone is afraid, all the time. Nobody feels like they know what they're doing a majority of the time. Maybe that's depressing because that means dealing with fear doesn't get easier, but I choose to look at as comforting, because it means I'm not alone in my fears, ever. Yes, there are confident people, and yes, that sometimes includes me--but for me, my confidence is now coming from knowing that I am going to be okay no matter what, and knowing that the things I'm feeling are necessary for growth. It comes from knowing I am perfectly competent at the things I do, even if in the movement I'd rather disappear than do the scary thing. It comes from knowing I am loved, on the right life path, and usually have karma on my side--in other words, I do tons of spiritual work and am a good person well BEFORE I need to be confident in a moment. And, yes, as a part-Slytherin sometimes my confidence comes from knowing everyone around me is just as scared and there is no way all of our fears are justified.

And the thing I re-learned this time, with a vengeance, is that when you summon up the courage, or the energy to override ANY neuroatypical or trauma-based coding, you have to, have to, have to take care of yourself afterwards. After my story-telling feature two of my best friends took me out for a nice meal and a beer and listened to me just whine about how scary things were. It felt great. It also reminded me that after all of the other scary things I'd done in the previous three three weeks, I should've had a glass of wine, a hot tub, a good book, or even just a fucking pizza waiting for myself when I was done. Because taking care of yourself in the moment may be beyond your control, but if you nurture yourself before and after, you WILL keep doing the scary stuff, and it's not gonna drain you nearly as much.

I don't have all the answers. I'm just a queer, disabled solopreneur and artist trying to survive capitalism and help others do the same--but I think I'm starting to get a handle on keeping myself together, even when all I want to do is fall apart. I can say with certainty after this month that the scary things are worth doing--but you should definitely have a safe place to land in between.

Blessed be.

Better Late Than Never! (Happy New Moon?)

Hey all!

So I've been blogging and social media-ing ad nauseam about how hard the past few weeks have been for so many of us, and about a week and a half ago I created this spread I've really fallen in love with. I wanted to have it up for your New Moon rituals, so you'd have some insight as your slate (hopefully) wiped clean under Aries' Moon's watchful eye. Even if tonight goes SO great but you're still having some lingering icky energy, or if you were waiting to figure out the problem before you attempted to move forward, or you just want to file away for future use, this spread should help you get to the root of major runs of bad luck or gross energy.

Appropriately, I've titled this the "WHY IS EVERYTHING A MESS?!" spread.

In case you can't read my third grade handwriting, I'll break it down for you: Four cards, the second card you lay crossing the first. Their placements indicate:

1- The root of the problem, AKA "Why is Everything a Mess"
2- Other energy in the situation that you can use or pull into solving the root issue
3-The long term solution, what's needed to keep this energy or crisis at bay forever
4-The Quick Fix--what to do, think, or change to get through your days until your energy shifts and the long term solution is well underway.

Here's my example spread. As you can see, it packs quite a punch in just four short cards. The Two of Swords is the root of my problem. In this case I am afraid to break routine, afraid to break a self-imposed stalemate between where I am now, where I'm supposed to be going, and the safety of the in-between phase. In short, my fear of success is keeping me from seeing opportunities for rebirth. I am standing on the precipice of change, and rather than taking the leap, I am waiting on the precipice for as long as possible, so of course everything's messed up. This is amplified by my crossing energy, a Two of Cups promising me love, success, and a significant gift for manifestation if I allow myself to embrace it. Law of attraction is and could be quite strong for me right now, if I but see it. The Two of Cups is also about balance and love, and it is likely that I am being asked by this crossing energy to reframe some of how I think about recent events. A lot has gone wrong--but a lot of people have really, really been there for me.

My long-term fix is deeply personal but the short version is this: there is a voice I hear every time I think I am failing or about to fail. Or succeeding or about to succeed. It is the voice of someone I don't believe believes in me judging me harshly for every single misstep, and devaluing my successes. This person in my life did at one point exist and cause very really problems for me, but now the damage is purely psychological. The cards are telling me that until I work through my fear and sadness caused by this person, I will continue to hear this voice, and it will screw me over, and it is time I get serious about taking my life back and banishing this voice once and for all. I hate how accurate this was, hate how painful it was to see splayed it, but it has been crucial in my motivation moving forward in this trying time. Luckily, my "quick fix" was easy: Don't pick up battles that aren't mine to fight. Don't get into senseless arguments, and if a burden feels to heavy, drop it. I was already doing much of this for self-care purposes, so basically if I stay on the right path where this is concerned I will get through the day-to-day okay.

Remember, a New Moon is always a good opportunity to wipe your slate clean and start over, and the fire and decisiveness of Aries can often force us too. If you're someone who's last moon phase was marked by everything falling apart, know it should ease in this time--but using this aptly titled "Why Is Everything a Mess" spread to figure out WHAT to focus on fixing has helped me and several clients get to the less painful part faster, and I hope it helps you too, reader.

Blessed be.

Los Angeles, Queer Art, and the Eye of Horus

Oh gosh, friends. March 2016 will go down in my personal history as one of the best and worst months of my entire life. The things that were good were unbelievable, but the things that weren't have made me feel like crumbling and giving up on various dreams for the first time really in my life. I absolutely love everything I do, but when you are trying so hard in one area and it feels like you're getting nowhere, it is a hopeless feeling. After many tarot readings and much soul-searching, I once again know I am doing the right things in the right place in generally the right time. I know things are going to turn around, I do. In the meantime, here are the highlights of where I went when I wasn't writing this blog:

• My steady tarot gig gives me so much solace. Everyone was so happy to see me when I came back from LA, and I have some clients going through much tougher things than I that are handling it with so much grace. Sometimes my clients truly do inspire me as much as I hope to be helping them, and it's such a joy be at The Eye of Horus a few days a week.
• I road tripped to LA with two of my dearest friends to marry off one of our other dearest friends. I never did do an official travel diary in spite of feeling incredibly spiritually connected to so much of what happened, but I ate some of the best food of my life, saw some friends who are so, so special to me when I wasn't doing wedding stuff, shopped Studio City, did so much tarot on patios and reading in hot tubs, and the road trip itself brought me to tears with the beauty of the Rockies, the desert, and so much more.

Ignore my total femme fail nail situation going on here.

• My beloved theatre company curated what I honestly think were three amazing nights of all LGBTQQIAP+ entertainment, and while so much of the process didn't pan out like we hoped, the generosity of performers, the venue, and the audience that did come was unparallel to anything we've experienced thus far. Honestly, by the end of the process I could have been a million times worse off but so, so many beautiful people around me gave so much of themselves when I needed them too, and in the end we did raise some money for a space, and we did make new Gadfly fans, and we did have so much to be grateful for.
• After L.A. I planned to get reacquainted with my new living space, and get the cats used to everything. In between writing articles, planning my next artistic ventures, and everything else that went on, I did manage too. My fluffy cat is still a jerk to the dog, but the dog's learned to let it go, and they DO all sleep in the luckily King sized bed with me.
• You might hear more about this later, but the QPP and I have been in a weird headspace so we've been adventuring around the Twin Cities by checking out new spots...but also by checking out old haunts from when we were other people with other squads. It's been interesting, and we're not done yet, so I want to see where this ultimately takes us and why before I say too much else.
• Among the great new things I've tried, there is an innovative new ice cream place that I'm in love with (so not vegan, so don't even care). I know that sounds hella pretentious, and it kind of us, but it's also a total party in your mouth. I also love the rebranding and new menu at one of my old faves, and two of my dearest friends took me here for belated birthday treats (pictured below).

• I was on a few podcasts and it was really fun. Check out Magnotronic here and Broadside here! I also did KFAI's Fresh Fruit again, but I'm not sure if the recording is still up.

There really were a lot of highlights this month. In addition to my personal highlights above, a good friend of mine won an amateur drag competition I was lucky enough to see, I read a lot of really amazing books (including the new Jhumpa Lahiri, which is one of the single best books I have ever read) and graphic novels, (This one sticks with me the most.) and I'm a little late to the game, but when I really needed to hide away from the world I caught up with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, a surprisingly progressive show doing some really interesting things artistically and socially.

Please feel free to chime in promoting your own recent work or letting me know where to find cool stuff online or in Minneapolis I'd be into!

Until then, Blessed Be.

My Year of Movement, So Far

Every year I pick a word or idea to focus on to keep me going. This year I picked "movement" because man, I have some big goals and dreams and they are not gonna make themselves come true. It just really feels like it's time to be pushing myself towards the things I want, and up until the past couple of weeks that really felt like it was swimming along just fine. January was so much prep and planning and getting ready for all that a year of movement entailed that I really didn't have a lot of emotional investment in it. I had no clue how it would all shake out in real time, but I knew what my goals were and what I wanted to move towards and what the tangible steps involved were. I took a very even-keeled approach to the whole thing. I packed all my stuff in boxes and got ready for a February physical move. I threw out a bunch of old to make way for a bunch of new. I read up on graphic design for dummies (still so lost. Please point me to resources if you have them!), mediumship, and how to land a book deal. I saved a ton of money. I prayed a lot. I made lists and plans and wrote down my most ridiculous dreams, just in case.

Then February came. Time to physically, literally move and that went okay. It was exhausting but it got done. Also as a side note, I turned 31. Nothing keeps you marching in forward movement like time refusing to stand still for you. I don't know that I've written about the specifics of my move before, but essentially I (and my queerplatonic partner of course) were offered free housing in the house we dog-sit at sometimes for four months. Pretty decent amenities were involved too--a Jacuzzi every night is a pretty effective pain management technique, and I'm not gonna argue with free cable. I was immediately so relieved by this offer. Yes I'm dog and house sitting in exchange, but my life has been so hard financially since I was a kid, and it seems like every time I take a step forward I am forced two steps back. I took this offer as a sign that I was to spend this time to really grow my businesses and make them sustainable financially. With Gadfly my goal has always been to have a space where queer artists can thrive, make enough to keep it going and pay artists decently, and to make radical art in traditional mediums that elevate queer voices. I've been doing the latter for six years, but it's definitely time to hone in and focus on the first two, and I know not having to worry about making rent or bills for essentially five months (since you don't pay for your last month in a space usually) meant time to focus that energy in other areas. Additionally, my tarot, miscellaneous art, and writing pay my bills now, but that's about all they do. I work so incredibly hard, and I am so blessed to actually make my living doing only things I love and think are important while also making a flexible enough schedule to manage my chronic pain. But no life is perfect and truth be told there are months on end where I am scraping by with an occasional "good" month where I can do things like buy new bras and save for a vacation. This is the reality of solo entrepreneurship that a lot of people won't tell you, and I live in a mid-sized city with a huge artistic community and it's still really hard. It's worth it. Do not misunderstand. I am not cut out for early mornings and hours of busy work, and manage to have both avoidant personality and oppositional defiance disorders. I am not cut out to do only one thing with my life, or to only see my friends for one or two happy hours a week. Some people live so fully and happily in that life and that's great. Some people need the structure, the order, the safety and some people legitimately love crunching numbers and are willing to do it during regular business hours to do it and that's amazing because nothing I do is possible without those people. I am definitively not one of those people though, and I love my life. I love sitting on a friend's porch while they chain smoke and talking late into the night knowing I don't have to be up the next morning. I love not having to "put in" for time off hoping it comes through. I love working in coffee shops, or on my couch, or in my temporary home's king-sized bed. More importantly though, I am head over heels in love with the written word, with tarot cards, with theatre and all of it's beautiful messy amazing relatives, and I also love realizing I'm behind on deadlines and owe people readings and holing up for three days and talking to no one and emerging a productive, recharged butterfly with an empty to-do list. It's also a fact that my typing hours are limited sometimes because of joint pain, that sometimes I can go on five hours of sleep for three weeks and feel great but other times I need my eight hours and possibly a nap because I ruptured a cyst two nights ago and have been totally exhausted ever since, and that I can't be on my feet for a six hour retail shift without it knocking me out for the next four days. I am so, so lucky that I found passions and vocations that make this workable. I would never talk shit about my life. But it's really hard sometimes.

And with that, I digress: for four months I have a chance to do nothing but fundraise and create for Gadfly, to write and write and write, and to grow my business skill set and work to build my client roster so that those aspects of my life are not merely paying my bills but are allowing me to flourish, and in that flourishing help others find their voice and do the same. So this physical move that embodied so much symbolism for the full year ahead had a lot of emotion riding on it and put into it, and it went fine. I was a little disappointed by how chill it all felt. I've been to this house so many times, so leaving the crappy basement apartment Manny and I occupied longer than I've lived anywhere since early childhood was bittersweet, but the full impact of that hasn't hit me because the joy of friends like the ones who's house I'm staying in is that it just felt like going home. It's a good thing, but my emotions about it all are really complicated but also way more muted than I expected. I suspect this is frequently true for people in housing transition like this, but the complete quiet of it still took me by surprise.

Some post-moving spoils.

Then March happened in earnest, and my fucking Goddess did it happen in earnest. One goal for this year was to travel more and figure out how to make that a part of my life while still sustaining otherwise. I took a road trip to LA which you can read more about here, and I feel really good about how that fit into this year's goals and movement. I also got to catch up with some old friends, and that was significant to a year of movement for me. In the past I have had primarily unhealthy relationships where I just picked up and fled the friendship (or even the state in a few memorable instances) when it was time to "move on". This was usually the right call, but one thing catching up with great people reminded me is that when you're nurturing the right relationships in your life they get to move forward WITH you. You don't shed quality people, even if takes you awhile to realize your impact on each other and that's something I'm still learning and working on.

Then I came back from L.A. full of emotions, excitement, and exhaustion and everything else in my life hit the fan. In every aspect of my life. So while in January I prepped and planned for a year of movement, in February I physically moved, and for half of March I checked off a major goal, the latter half of March has left me with this huge question:

How do you keep moving forward when everything is falling apart?

And I don't know the answer yet, but I know I'm gonna figure it out. With Gadfly we've taken the tack of "okay, let's break down what's not working and rebuild." We're gonna pull our own Tower down and start over where some things are concerned while keeping the good stuff. That's not gonna work in my personal or emotional life though. In so many ways I don't want to get into I feel like a failure for the first time. I failed at some things this month, and that doesn't happen to me a lot. It brought every fear and insecurity boiling to the surface and I straight up shut down for a couple of days. In the grand scheme of things, two bad weeks mean nothing, but where I go from now is hugely important and I haven't made any decisions or taken any steps fully forward because I am scared of failing again. This is again totally new territory for me. It's always been my fear of success or of the unknown that have held me back, but this feeling of failure is brand new territory and I'm really baffled and upset by it.

And maybe that's the point. Maybe we can't move forward truly without some failures along the way. Maybe I'm supposed to be learning how to fail gracefully. Maybe I'm supposed to be learning to fail, period. I don't know. What I do know is I owe it to myself and the plethora of people who inexplicably believe in me to keep marching forward. So I will, somehow. I just don't really know what that looks like right now.

Until next time, Blessed be.

P.S. If you're super into queer art spaces existing, click here and help us out!

Creating Sacred Space On the Road (Or any other high pressure situation)

I recently embarked on a road trip from Minnesota to LA with my very favorite person on the planet and another very close friend to see one of our college friends (who I still absolutely adore) marry a woman who even this cold-hearted bitter single queer can see is his true love. This started off as a travel entry--how much fun I had in LA, how magickal this Pisces babe felt seeing the Pacific Ocean for the first time, the best food I ate, etc. It would've been genuine and it would've been great, but I'm exhausted. I. Am. So. Exhausted. It's not that I didn't have a great time. It was one of the best experiences of my life, but I could've taken better care of myself. I am a capital-I-Introvert, and I was with the QPP non-stop, our other friend most of the time, staying with a wonderful new friend (who had a weimaraner!), and visiting art friends and clients that moved to LA to follow their dreams. You know, on top of wedding stuff. This couldn't be avoided and I didn't WANT it to be avoided, but here's where I went a little amiss:

• I didn't write, not even in my journal, the entire time. My fingers are so itchy now to sit and write all the things and I definitely felt the pain of not documenting AND not taking the time to do for myself.
• My daily tarot practice also fell short.
• There were a few times I could've carved out an hour or two to sit and read or dip my feet into the apartment complex's pool while Manny was napping or otherwise engaged, and instead I usually flopped on my bed and stared at my phone for those times. Such a fail.

I like to think this bird is also carving out just a few moments of alone time.

Carving out and creating that time for yourself is crucial, and I'm definitely feeling the brunt of it now. I didn't totally fail at carving out that time and space for myself though. Here's some tips/tricks/indulgences I did enforce that anyone in a highly people-d situation can do.

• Never underestimate the power of grounding stones and personal talismans. Manny gifted me an amethyst point with a moonstone set in sterling silver a couple of Christmases ago and I have worn it every day since, with the exception of days I forget or days I'm giving it a three-day moon bath for cleansing. I do daily incantations for both success and grounding so on the road clutching it, taking a deep breathe, and not incanting but just feeling all the good energy I already put into it made a HUGE difference. I also took some of my favorite grounding stones, and would just pull out hematite and jet and set it on my thigh, arm, tummy, or even just held it and breathed for a few minutes.
• My last day in LA itself I did some touristy things, but then I just felt done. I sat in the apartment hot tub and read a Carson McCullers book. Manny was technically there, but we were on opposite sides and I was totally absorbed in my book and vice versa. It was only 30-40 minutes or so but it was enough to get me ready for dinner with a dear friend I hadn't seen awhile. You won't always have a hot tub, but there will always be some place you can retreat too.
• I ate well! If you've followed me for any length of time or know me at all in real life, this is an ongoing struggle for me regardless of travel. I love nothing more than good bread, ethically farmed real butter, mostly vegan food (sans salty vegan substitutes) with occasional pizza or cheese-on-my-omelette indulgences and seafood if I trust the source. However, I often find myself at the bottom of a bag of chips with no clue how I got there, or alternatively, will realize it's midnight and I'm starving because I had four grapes for breakfast and nothing else all day. I started each day with my standard cup of coffee and glass of water, because food in the morning gags me (thanks thyroid disorder!) but I'm honestly so proud of myself for lunch on every day. I ate lots of high-protein, high-fat (it's a good thing for chronically ill people), low sugar and salt food everyday. I ate every time I was hungry and stopped when I was done. This might seem so basic but when traveling it is so easy to go wild on junk food or get so busy visiting stuff you don't eat nearly enough. Furthermore, good food has a spiritual purpose to me so even with other people that first bite of to-die-for mushroom chorizo grounds me and connects me to the local place it came from.
• I stated my needs (!!!) this is an even bigger struggle for me than the food thing, and do you know what happened on a 30 hour road trip when I asked my friends if we could "just be quiet for a few minutes?" They agreed, and even seemed relieved that SOMEONE had asked for this. Y'all. Tell people what you need. Trust me on this.
• I took time for JUST the BFF and I. No, it's not introvert time, but time to blow off steam with someone you love in a beautiful city (or wherever you're visiting) is restorative. We got to experience LA shopping and walking hustle on our own, frequently striding side by side silently (the mark of true companionship) pointing out only the silliest or most moving things we saw. And we complained about the stresses of the visit. I'm not the type of new age-r who thinks complaints automatically poison your positive vibes. In fact, if you keep every annoyance, actual contention, hurt feeling, and who knows what else inside you will have a meltdown.
• AND MAYBE YOU NEED TO HAVE A MELTDOWN AND THAT'S OKAY TOO. I sat on one of the most beautiful beaches in the world and sobbed hysterically because that's what I needed to do, and then the entire rest of my day was just breathtakingly wonderful. Complaining and crying only become toxic if that's your default, your way of life, or if they hinder your ability to stay grateful. I am always grateful. I grew up with almost nothing, I've been abused and assaulted and stolen from and deeply, deeply hurt so many times and somehow I made it to a point in my life where with some careful budgeting I can take a trip to LA, buy my hosts thank you gifts, and still have money to eat with when I come back and I've gotten to a point where I can attend a friend's wedding out of state like a fucking adult and talk about my businesses in an honest but glowing way and live my life, my love, and my spirituality freely and there is not a single second of a single day where I am not overwhelmingly grateful for where I ended up and where I'm going, but all of those other things leave scars, no life is perfect, and you are not wrecking your mojo if you are 1,500 miles away from your biggest stressors and still sit on a beach crying about them. You are releasing that emotion, processing it, and that is so necessary. So have a meltdown, no matter how much fun you're supposed to be having. Just don't let those feelings wreck your whole trip--not because you owe being fun to anyone, but because if you're on a trip, you owe it to yourself to enjoy it.

I learned so much about myself and my limits on this trip, and perhaps that's the big takeaway after all. I pushed myself a little too far, and I'll be better next time, but I knew when it was time to call it on this trip and held firm, and I haven't self-advocated that well ever. I'm so beyond grateful for this trip for so many reasons, not the least of which connects to me learning even more about sacred space and time and how much I need it.

Until next time, blessed be.

So I Bought the Justice League Tarot On A Whim...

I'm a huge comic book fan. I'm in a WTF Comics Club (the one from the Mary Sue, actually!) and it is one of my greatest joys in life to sit down with a stack of graphic novels and plow through them. My favorite major publisher is Image--I will read almost anything if you tell me that's where it's published, but I'm also a Wonder Woman fanatic and no stranger to the two big house. So when I saw whisperings online of a Justice League Tarot online, I went ahead and grabbed it for my birthday. I was pleasantly surprised by some things, so let's go ahead and dig into my review!

Please excuse the cat hair. It lives on everything I own.

Overall inspiration and connection: Connection for me? Great. This is the first deck I ever bought for 100% novelty value, so when I threw a couple of cards down as daily readings, I was pleasantly surprised by the connection I had. I do think that in novelty decks, strong connection to the source material matters more than the "legitimacy" or whatever of the deck, so for DC fans, this is a very pleasant surprise. I've used it for a few personal readings to great success. In terms of inspiration, the creators made some strange choices. There are very strange characters on some cards, and while this is called the Justice League Tarot, it's basically just all original DC art, which is fine it's just not what I expected. What works in this deck really works. Green Arrow as the symbol of generosity on the Six of Pentacles? Perfection. The Tower was practically made for the chaos that the Joker brings. Harley Quinn as The Fool? Surprising but absolutely fitting if you think about it for a few seconds. But then there were things like Bane as the Ace of Pentacles that were incredibly distracting...

Artwork: For comic fans this deck is stunning. The artwork is all original, and the way they combine the DC character mythology with Tarot symbolism is generally awe-inspiring. My favorite comic book characters ever are Wonder Woman and Poison Ivy, and Ivy's Empress almost brought me to tears. I want a poster of it in my room. It's amazing. It's this decks strongest feature for sure.

Card Quality: What this card has in artwork cred, it lose almost completely in card quality. Thick cardstock, barely glossed. Hard to shuffle and I'm constantly terrified of bending them and making visible cracks.
Queering Potential: Anytime you're working with established material that gets into a tricky area. Certainly there are no opportunities to queer existing characters but many of the LGBTQ+ characters in the DC canon show up in this deck in nice places. And then there's this. This means a lot to me that the card that is the biggest indicator of true, healthy love is a same-sex pairing.

Guide Book and Ease of Learning: AND here is the next biggest flaw in this deck. There is no guidebook or little white book. Not only is there no guidebook, but you can't even buy one separately. If you don't know the entire DC canon (I Don't) it's really hard to gauge how good some cards are. AND if you don't already know tarot (luckily I know THAT very, very well) this is obviously not a starter or even intermediate deck. Because this deck doesn't have a guidebook, those strange choices they made don't have an explanation or a way to reframe your thinking. I was really disappointed in the lack of supplemental materials to be honest. I'm not disappointed in decks a lot, there are just things that work for me and things that don't but to have such beautiful artwork, and to come from a world like comics that are so rick in storytelling and character and have nothing explaining the process of how it came together or giving interpretations? It was a bit of a bummer.

Even so I do enjoy this deck. I know tarot well enough to figure out the direction they took things, and because it is a novelty deck I likely won't use it except for myself and close friends. It's a fun addition to your repertoire, and it's connection with querents and the beautiful artwork were a very pleasant surprise. It's not one I'd necessarily recommend to anyone who wasn't a huge comics fan, but for what it is I'm glad I purchased it and have it in my repertoire, I'm just not as over the moon about it as I hoped to be.

Does anyone else have this deck? Thoughts?

Vacations, Birthdays, Theatre, and Pups!

2016 has not started subtly or slowly for most of us; I hit the ground running and my March is not slowing down. I like to check in with you guys and myself every month just to remember where I've been and see where I'm going. This month my "what I've been up to" is pretty simple, everything is just big. SO here are the adventures February took me on:

• Falling more in love with my steady tarot gig and steady writing gigs every day.
• A birthday trip to Duluth chronicled here
• I performed at Patrick's Cabaret--this put me back on stage (flying in the face of anxiety) to a very successful end. This was really hard for me, but something it really felt like time to do. I'm so grateful I did it and so excited to take on more opportunities where I'm creating outside of my company.
• Speaking of my company, which is still my favorite thing in the world, we have an IndieGoGo campaign happening HERE and you know what? We're off to a slow start but we are raising money for a space where queer art can thrive--not only our own but other low-income LGBTQ+ or marginalized female's art as well so I know it's gonna take off as more press catches wind (we already have a great write-up here). We're also doing a spectacular 3-day celebration of queer art at Lush. Tickets are on sale now! They're the ones labeled "One Night Stands" on the 17th, 18th, and 20th, So grab 'em! AND finally, we're scheduling director interview and actor auditions now so if you're a theatre person rocking the Twin Cities, hit me up!
• AND FINALLY, I moved in with the cute little dude pictured below. Don't worry--the queerplatonic partner and my beloved feline friends came with. We're staying here for four months so I can focus on YOU--my clients and readership, my writing overall, and of course my theatre work while saving up for other big life plans in the coming years. The dog, Parker, has two dads who are some of my favorite people on the planet and a super-cute couple--but one is stationed in LA getting some film work, and the other is on an academic sabbatical in Italy, so we get to invade their townhome and get our ducks in a row for a bit and take care of Parker for them.

Parker the pup is pretty happy we're here, in spite of the chaos that led up to us landing here.

I pick a power word and sentence/mantra every year, and my mantra came late to me this time, but I've always known this year was meant to be guided by MOVEMENT, embodying the ideals of The Chariot tarot card, and between travel, hopping back on stage, and physically moving my home I'd say I'm definitely meeting that goal. I'm really happy with how things are going, and really excited for a March full of travel, tarot, art, and animals as well.

And that's it! That's where I've been when I wasn't here! I'd love to hear where your tarot (or other) lives took you all this month. I also want to recommend jumping on the Little Red Tarot bandwagon if you haven't. Beth's work is incredible, and now she's pulled on some amazing collaborators to help make this site I'm so proud to have a small place at even better.

Until then, Blessed Be!

My Birthday Wishes

I didn't have candles to blow out this year (which is A-ok by me. 31 + 1 for luck seems like a fire hazard), but I still did my annual birthday reading and intention setting, of course. (I also went to Duluth, so enjoy some silly pictures interspersed to keep things interesting.) In addition to a ton of personal stuff, here is what I'm putting out in the world that I want to percolate on and manifest by the time I'm 32 (and how you can help me with one big dream!) :

• This sounds so wild and out there--but I'd really like to at least be in talks about a book deal for my Queering the Tarot concept and columns.
• A nice three-bedroom space for me and the queerplatonic partner to sprawl out in, and that can more easily accommodate for both of us manifesting adult relationships and other family dreams we have.
• More road trips and travel in general--which I'm kicking off with a trip to LA in March!
• AND speaking of space, my wonderful queer, feminist theatre company, Gadfly Theatre Productions is looking for a small found space that we can turn into a 70ish seat, adaptable space for not only our own work but other queer art and art by marginalized women to thrive. We have an IndieGoGo campaign ready to go here. We're off to a bit of a slow start but have plenty of time so I know we'll get there. Still, every little bit helps, and if we meet our push goals after the $7,000 we can start discounting rentals for other artists besides what's already in our business plan, creating a truly low-cost space to create in. I am so passionate about and excited to actually enter a phase where we can share a valuable resource AND root our own work so people know where to come for radical, patriarchy-smashing queer art.

Look, it's Duluth! One of my favorite places in this entire world. Lake Superior is so soothing and restorative, and there are very few places I would have rather been on my birthday.

Beyond these four (BIG) goals, I just want to constantly be moving forward in my life right now. Last year was a huge year for personal emotional and spiritual growth. Now I want to take that into a year of action where my dreams morph into tangible goals. The Chariot card and the word "Movement"are what I'm holding in my heart for 2016. However, two days before my 31st birthday I was reading this amazing book, and there was a David Mura quote in the beginning:

“Sometimes, you’re so busy surviving, you forget you already have.”

— David Mura

I've had a ROUGH life. I don't say that to garner any sympathy, but so people understand that every single thing I do, every facet on my life, is built on the idea of surviving. I do just enough to get by, because building and growing has never seemed like an option. What if I need to pick up and run again, after all? Well after seven years in a city I love, six years running a theatre company that is the love of my life, a metaphysical store and a ton of clients supporting my tarot business, a writing job I wake up every day excited about, and a truly supportive "squad", I'm done being ready to pack up and go at a moment's notice. I have survived, and I am here to stay and make my mark in this world. (Besides, where else would I go that has this many quality coffee shops I can walk to in any given neighborhood?) I want to move forward, not away. I want to grow taller, not apart. I want to thrive, and for the first time in my life I see that as a possibility. I'm going to become more visible, and that terrifies me...

But never publishing my writing on a large scale? Never being a name in the theatre world at large? Never trusting and fully forming the non-traditional queer-as-can-be family I've always dreamed of? Those things terrify me way more, and those things deserve for my 31st year on this Earth to be one of moving towards them. 

Blessed be (and happy birthday to me!)