I didn't have candles to blow out this year (which is A-ok by me. 31 + 1 for luck seems like a fire hazard), but I still did my annual birthday reading and intention setting, of course. (I also went to Duluth, so enjoy some silly pictures interspersed to keep things interesting.) In addition to a ton of personal stuff, here is what I'm putting out in the world that I want to percolate on and manifest by the time I'm 32 (and how you can help me with one big dream!) :
- This sounds so wild and out there--but I'd really like to at least be in talks about a book deal for my Queering the Tarot concept and columns.
- A nice three-bedroom space for me and the queerplatonic partner to sprawl out in, and that can more easily accommodate for both of us manifesting adult relationships and other family dreams we have.
- More road trips and travel in general--which I'm kicking off with a trip to LA in March!
- AND speaking of space, my wonderful queer, feminist theatre company, Gadfly Theatre Productions is looking for a small found space that we can turn into a 70ish seat, adaptable space for not only our own work but other queer art and art by marginalized women to thrive. We have an IndieGoGo campaign ready to go here. We're off to a bit of a slow start but have plenty of time so I know we'll get there. Still, every little bit helps, and if we meet our push goals after the $7,000 we can start discounting rentals for other artists besides what's already in our business plan, creating a truly low-cost space to create in. I am so passionate about and excited to actually enter a phase where we can share a valuable resource AND root our own work so people know where to come for radical, patriarchy-smashing queer art.
Look, it's Duluth! One of my favorite places in this entire world. Lake Superior is so soothing and restorative, and there are very few places I would have rather been on my birthday.
Beyond these four (BIG) goals, I just want to constantly be moving forward in my life right now. Last year was a huge year for personal emotional and spiritual growth. Now I want to take that into a year of action where my dreams morph into tangible goals. The Chariot card and the word "Movement"are what I'm holding in my heart for 2016. However, two days before my 31st birthday I was reading this amazing book, and there was a David Mura quote in the beginning:
“Sometimes, you’re so busy surviving, you forget you already have.”
I've had a ROUGH life. I don't say that to garner any sympathy, but so people understand that every single thing I do, every facet on my life, is built on the idea of surviving. I do just enough to get by, because building and growing has never seemed like an option. What if I need to pick up and run again, after all? Well after seven years in a city I love, six years running a theatre company that is the love of my life, a metaphysical store and a ton of clients supporting my tarot business, a writing job I wake up every day excited about, and a truly supportive "squad", I'm done being ready to pack up and go at a moment's notice. I have survived, and I am here to stay and make my mark in this world. (Besides, where else would I go that has this many quality coffee shops I can walk to in any given neighborhood?) I want to move forward, not away. I want to grow taller, not apart. I want to thrive, and for the first time in my life I see that as a possibility. I'm going to become more visible, and that terrifies me...
But never publishing my writing on a large scale? Never being a name in the theatre world at large? Never trusting and fully forming the non-traditional queer-as-can-be family I've always dreamed of? Those things terrify me way more, and those things deserve for my 31st year on this Earth to be one of moving towards them.
Blessed be (and happy birthday to me!)
