My Pisces Soul Is Awake Now...

Hello friends & tarot lovers,

Back in February I made a promise to myself and set an intention to get back in touch with my Pisces soul. I knew it was still in there, lurking, occasionally forcing up hiccups of emotion but never really screaming to the surface. I am always me to an extent, but too much emotion wasted on the wrong people had buried this most essential part of me and after time to heal and breathe...I missed that me. I missed feeling sensual in my sheets in the morning because it was morning and I was there. I missed feeling truly connected with friends and partners when we snuggled or held each other. I missed being able to cry, sob, and freak out when I was upset. I missed feeling truly happy, joyful, connected during late night conversations or when witnessing brilliant art. 

So I made a water altar, and I've been loyal to it. I've forced myself to start journaling a certain amount of pages every 2-3 days (and they can't be business notes). I've tried to take a deep breathe and really be IN the moment when the time calls for it. I'm a better tarot reader than I was. I'm a more emotional, clingy, weird friend and family member than I was but no one has complained (quite the opposite, in fact). I have ideas for storytelling and personal stories to pitch to various outlets. I have so many ideas for the next show I'm directing. 

And yet...I wasn't prepared for the feelings of overwhelm and sadness that come with bad situations. My empathy guard falling has made me a better friend but I am kind of a mess some days. I know it's time now to strive for balance. What originally made me feel good and inspired and like ME again has made me have several days over the past few weeks of unfocused, scattered energy, irritability, and deep feelings of loss even when no real loss has occurred. Pisces me is here and restored and feelin' stuff. But I have to be able to work and function. 

I didn't take neuroatypicality into account when I set my intention. I didn't expect my Pisces soul floating to the surface to inspire my PTSD and anxiety to have their way with me. This was a magickal error on my part, having missed something I tell clients all the time: make your intentions crystal clear with no room for error. I like being sad, crying, and overanalyzing what went wrong in real time when something is wrong. I don't like a normal day completely knocking me off my feet. I don't like the outrage I felt at a slightly frustrating day yesterday. I don't like feeling completely isolated because the people I love aren't available right at the very moment I thought company might be nice, but I do so love my renewed and deepened love of those relationships.

As usual when at a loss, I turned to the tarot for guidance and answers:

The Slow Holler Tarot essentially confirms everything I just said, but like I tell clients: if this is not new information, it allows you to focus and cut out anything not mentioned here. So if I take the card's advice on enacting my vision more clearly, the problems with empathy and isolation will fall away on their own. My whole spread promises water stuff is good, heart stuff is great. I should be loving and celebrating and rejoicing in my rediscovered Pisces energy. The dissenting card is this Visionary of Knives--a stark and necessry reminder that I am all of the things a Pisces is...but I am also grounded, ambitious, and rooted by a deep need to create something big and bold for my community. Finding balance is about remembering my goals and placing them on the same pedestal as I do my heart and its needs. I love this top row. It is affirming it and just seeing it helps me blend the things I'm going through into something viable. This deck can be verbose and challenging when that is what I need. It can also be succint and affirming when all I need is permission.

It is the outgoing message though that surprised me and that I write all of this to deliver to you: Growth is slow, and takes time. It might hurt in the meantime. It will probably cause a hundred different areas of your life to throb and glow at once. This time will pass, and it will have been worth it. Keep growing.

Blessed be y'all!

Happy August, Kittens!

An example Lammas/Lughnasadh altar

Hey All!

Just a friendly witchcraft reminder: today/tomorrow (it varies per person who celebrates) is Lughnasadh or Lammas, the first of three harvest festivals this year. This sabbat is best used for: showing gratitude for the intentions you set for the year that ARE harvesting, and cutting/breaking old bad habits. With that in mind, I'm especially grateful for my adventures and shenanigans this year, an increased client docket + writing gig docket, an upcoming Gadfly event at one of my fave venues in town, and the two classes I'm teaching this month. What do I want to cut out or break? IMPOSTER SYNDROME. It's been 32 years. It's time to end that shit. I do cool things all the time, and the years I lost where due to PTSD and untreated chronic illness so why am I beating myself up for not hitting my stride at 25?! I've been trying to manifest confidence without ridding myself of the reasons it's blocked, so what a great way to focus my energy this Lammas!

In truth it still feels like it has been a rough year. That is a different post for a different day. Today, as we enter Lammas though, I am grateful for you, your support, and my life in general.

Now, here's where a solid work ethic, a deep lust for life and need for adventure, and witchcraft took me in July (and what they brought back to me!)

Me & my cards at Minnehaha Falls. Photo cred to Taylor Dobson.

TAROT LIFE

• I'm still SO excited in gearing up for my Queering the Tarot class at The Future and my Sex & Tarot class at The Smitten Kitten. Solidifying and prepping for that has been a big chunk of my July but it's so, so worth it.

• I saw a necessary and wonderful spike in e-mail readings in July. I'd love to keep that going, so I'll just politely leave this link here.

• I'm still at the Eye of Horus from 11:30-6 on Sundays and 3-9 on Wednesdays. I've been so happy (and busy) the past couple of months, so I'm strongly suggesting appointments if that's where you prefer to see me. If you prefer coming through just my business, that's great too! I'm reading Thurs-Saturday & Monday 1-6 P.M.

STUFF I WROTE

• The big scary thing was that I once again edited my storytelling piece about getting my period at a fancy, sterile-clean dinner party and performed it at The Big Fat Comedy Hour at Lush! This is one of my favorite shows and venues so I was terrified. I let my Avoidant Personality Disorder “win” a lot, and I'm glad I told it to shove it for this gig.

• New Queering the Tarot stuff as per usual! Here and here.

• I stepped back into my Multi-Passion Diary this month, talking about endings instead of beginnings. A lot of the focus of that Diary is what I'm working on NOW, what's happening NOW, and that's great. Closing an art gallery somewhat unexpectedly left me fairly introspective though.

THEATRE LIFE

• I was a little tired from closing the gallery, so I mostly just answered e-mail and stuff...but in reality that means Gadfly is SO SO close to announcing our fall shows (and maybe already did if you're on our newsletter. Muahaha.)

• I've also been doing this Queer Improv Jam at Huge Theater. It's such a welcoming group of people to play with. I love it so, so much. I definitely recommend a jam in your area or this one if you're queer and in the Twin Cities. No experience necessary, only participation. 

A still from Freeform's "The Bold Type," recommended below.

RECOMMENDATIONS

• My favorite writer is probably Catherynne Valente, and I acquired and gobbled up her Refrigerator Monologues so fast. It combined the prose and general brilliance of Valente with underrated and de-powered female characters from comic books. It's a quick read and holy wowza, it's a good one if you're into comics or fighting tropes like, at all.

• I really thought I would hate the board game Secret Hitler. I don't know why. I love board games. I love secrets. I love dark humor in my fight against fascism. Luckily those things won out--it's really fun if you're a board game person.

• I have The Bold Type fever--it's on Freeform or Hulu, and I'm completely hooked! If you love magazine industry, girl squads, or good old-fashioned relationship and career drama, this one's great. Part of the reason I love Supergirl so much is because it's an optimistic antidote to everything "edgy" right now, and as of now The Bold Type falls into that too.

Beautiful new secret spot near my house that I discovered with my sister.

OTHER SHENANIGANS

• I've always known one of my best friends in Minneapolis has a pool for use at his apartment building, but I don't think I really UNDERSTOOD how beautiful that makes summer until the past couple of weeks.

• Nothing makes you appreciate the large mid-sized city you navigate every day like having someone come from out of town. My siblings are my favorite people on the planet other than my queerplatonic partner. Hands down. Some people identify as a mom or a dad or a loner. I am, and have always been, and will probably always be a Big Sis. Still, life is life and I don't get to see them nearly as often as I'd like. So the best nights of my 18 year old sister and I's week long adventure were her curled up on my couch geeking out about Harry Potter and bonding over deeper stuff with me. Yet the kid got me up hiking, sight seeing, going to the beach, shopping, and eating out every day and I was exhausted by the end but wouldn't trade a second of it. We also went to Milkjam and ordered the “All of Them” so that was pretty great too.

• TINY GOAT ADVENTURE. A farmer's market in Minneapolis had baby goats we could snuggle, so I called up squad and we snuggled SO MANY BABY GOATS. FOR SO LONG. It was the best evening.

Yeah, like I would talk about tiny goats and not show you one.

That's it for me this month friends! I hope your July was sunny and wonderful, and I hope your August is even better. I've got an action packed one that includes press credentials for a major theatre festival, the birthday of one of my dearest friends, another dog-sitting adventure, annoucing half of a theatre season, finishing my next e-book (come hell or high water!), teaching two classes, and a trip to Duluth to sit in or near the lake and actually breathe. I'm hoping and praying it also includes ordering this tarot deck and seeing Stevie Nicks in concert, but we'll see how things play out. Send good vibes for me though, and you'll get lotsa great Instagram pics of both! 

Blessed be y'all!

Better Late Than Never!

Hello all,

I am back for this blog's monthly Link Roundup; admittedly I'm about a week late but it's for a very good reason. My 18 year old sister came into visit from Ohio! She is the cutest, sweetest little human and I cut my workload down to "need this money now" work. I missed doing my other stuff though, so next time I'll get it all queued up before I have a visitor. 

Out adventuring with my Sister. Had to show her my river :)

Before we dive in, TWO quick announcements! People are getting excited about both of the workshops I'm doing in August which is getting me all kinds of excited (but also nervous). The first is a revamp and remount of my Queering the Tarot workshop at The Future on August 17th. The other JUST officially announces is a brand-new (but still totally in my wheelhouse) Sex & Tarot course at The Smitten Kitten! Luckily for you, Queering the Tarot is sliding scale starting at just $15, and Sex & Tarot is FREE to you! Which means you could potentially take two radical tarot classes that weekend for just $15, and that actually seems like a pretty sweet deal to me!

Now, on to radical things OTHER people are writing and doing! 

Politics & Resistance

• If you want a quick breakdown on what's going on with that BS Department of Justice statement that LGB people aren't covered under Title VII, Autostraddle has you covered.
• There's some pretty important legislation being discussed about the non-profit sector too. It's easy to be overwhelmed right now, so this was easy to miss. 
• A Lithub personal essay/book review about being torn between queer and Southern identity, plus the books he covers sound like important reads too.
• Why IS Hyperfemininity Expected of Fat Girls? This one practically garnered applause from me.
• I should probably just have a permalink list somewhere to all of Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha's writing, and her Bitch articles have been on point lately. I especially loved "A Modest Proposal For a Fair Trade Emotional Labor Economy (Centered By Disabled, Femme of Color, Working Class/Poor Genius)". 
• On Black Lives Matter, Queer Identity, and Appalachia. 
• Lisa Frank Body Positivity is not as cool as it sounds. This is a good read though.
• Prison Reform is one of the most important issues to me that never gets talked about. The way our society dehumanizes and traumatizes inmates, many of whom are in for minor crimes or no real reason at all, physically makes me ill. This piece talks about the juvenile system and why it's reform is a necessary queer issue. 

Tarot & Witchery

• This has been shared around a bit in metaphysical circles, but just in case you missed it: "Astrology of the Stonewall Riots" is as cool as it sounds. 
• Asali Earthwork regularly blows me away with her writing and witchery. This month I bookmarked both her review of The Personal Space Tarot and this so-necessary piece about mental health and witchcraft. The review is a really great example of a review and discusses tarot and the deck in depth. The personal piece spoke to me so deeply and is every bit as brave and beautiful as the title suggests. As a bonus, head over to her shop and snag some tea because it is delicious.
• Dior is making Motherpeace Tarot inspired clothes now, and Vogue has the scoop! I completely nerded out when I saw this. 
• "See the cripple dance" is ALWAYS one of my favorite Little Red Tarot columns, but this one on the Seven of Cups hit really deeply for this PTSD-trodden, chronically ill queer.
• Also from Little Red: a super easy, informative guide to snagging the best crystals for spiritual fatigue.
• I'm never going to stop posting about representation in the spiritual community and why it matters. I'm also never gonna stop linking back to radical writers of color highlighting the issues better than I ever could. 

Writing & Business

• I love peering into people's personal work processes, and Benebell Wen's look at promotional tactics, what worked, and what didn't was great insight with useful information AND things that won't work for everyone but were still fun to read.
• In Minneapolis everyone has a Prince AND a Bob Dylan story; in any case Seth Godin went somewhere I didn't quite expect with this one. 
• This really applies to all types of writing and made me laugh a lot. Here's "How Not To Write A Play."
• Y'all know by now how much I adore Theresa Reed, especially her "Soul Propietor" series. This one on how you want to feel in your business is especially good. 
• A cute cartoon about job and gig hunting that everyone should see. It'll take you four seconds but it's good!
• I talk about "Money Dates" a lot and how they've changed my life and both of my businesses, but it never occurred to me to share this primer from Bari Tessler herself with you. So...here you go!

A picture of Sir Didymus to break up the monotony of text. 

Theatre & Art

• "A Collective Call Against Critical Bias" is a wonderful start to important conversations about arts criticism and where we drawn the line, and features goodies like: "As female artists and academics…we have dedicated our careers…to dismantling discriminatory structures and practices in theater, and the criticism this year is so blatantly prejudicial that we felt compelled to collectively author an editorial that both documents the problem and puts it in an historical context."
• There's a new series at the Twin Cities Arts Reader entitled "The Curmudgeon" about all the ways arts organizations are NOT actually helping the press help them. It sounds heady but it's actually really easy to access information about how to market shows better. 
• I was so happy and surprised when I saw my friend Shannon on one of my favorite blogs today. Shannon runs Uprising Theatre Company, is a fantastic writer in his own right, and oh yeah, is a transgender Priest! 
• Sometimes the title does the talking for us, like in "The Necessity of Diverse Voices in Theatre Regarding Disability and Difference."

All The Other Things I Love and Thought You Might Too

• I was obsessed with Poison Ivy as a child. No, not the Batman character I'm still in love with, the other one. The movie starring Drew Barrymore. I guess I wasn't alone and this revisit from Dazed was written wonderfully. 
• Andi Grace gets real at Little Red Tarot about what she's been through lately, and tells us what she's learned living in a van about boundaries and letting go. This one was truly beautiful.
• One of my biggest flaws is that I'm a jealous friend. I will love you deeply and unconditionally. I will want nothing but the best for you. I will also be unbelievably jealous and feel incredibly stupid voicing that to you. So I was relieved to find an actual good article addressing this jealousy and it's roots.
• An oldie but a goodie came back up in my feed the other day--an absolutely side-splitting teardown of Goodnight Moon. 

That's it for me y'all! Blessed be.

Multi-Passion Diary: Well, I RAN An Art Gallery

Hello all!

I'm still working and hammering out what I want this column to be, but I think for now it's both a good place to find out about other solo entrepreneurs and the balls they're juggling while exploring some personal blogging too. Today felt like a more personal day for one big reason: I just closed an art gallery.

Now, for those just tuning into my blog perhaps for the first time, in addition to doing tarot and writing I run a theatre company called Gadfly Theatre Productions that does queer and feminist work. Sometime last year we started aching for our own space, and it turns out, a good friend of mine decided to buy a restaurant, which means she needed someone to take over her lease at a popular small art gallery. The space was ideal for rehearsals, staged readings, and open mics. It was a wonderful creative found space for our mainstage shows. We got to rent out the space for low cost to other marginalized artist and I always felt so good and aligned handing out the door code to renters. Gadfly made four really stellar events of our own in the space, and we partnered with other creators to make their dreams come true too. Longtime Gadfly fans had an amazing time knowing where to find our provocative work.  Gadfly is meant to be a theatre company that has four walls. (I tried to make a pun here about the fourth wall. It didn't work.) My business partner and I are meant to run a space. 

My cutie pie business partner and favorite human goofing off as we cleaned up the space one day.

So no one was more surprised than us when we decided to shutter it suddenly in late June, with a move out date only two weeks later. The "what happened" isn't important for the purposes of this blog, but the whole sudden move out process moved around a bunch of stuff in my soul, and these are the reminders and lessons I felt fit to share. 

• Holy wow, stop and take stock of your growth once in awhile. Manny (my business partner) and I just kind of decided to get a space, and then one fell into our laps. There's a whole bunch of spiritual sentiment wrapped up in that too (manifesting works y'all), but the main takeaway was this: For eight years Manny and I have worked almost every day creating work for this company. We have worked hard, and we have rarely complained about how hard we work at this for as little money as we do. We don't even really get that exhausted doing it. We love this company. We love theatre itself. We love the love and community our work creates, and we loved moving that into a space. So it never occurred to us that paying bills in the space might be hard (we had one hiccup but it was otherwise totally fine.) It never occurred to us that scheduling snafus, managing events we didn't produce, and a whole list of other things might drag us down (it didn't). We worked hard and steadily, and when it felt right we moved into a space. As I was moving physical objects out of the gallery I realized how silly it was that we never took a moment to be proud of ourselves for such a huge step forward.
  
  It's a big deal to successfully run a space and create the relationships we did. I don't think I ever would have realized that without such a sudden move out, and it's an incredible reminder to look at how I've grown in the other areas of my life. I have two steady writing gigs, a steady tarot gig, and my writing and readings get better every day. I'm teaching tarot now. I mostly buy food I have to cook at the grocery store. I listen when my chronically ill body is screaming for a break. I have open, painful but real conversations with friends and family when they hurt me or I hurt them. There are so, so many ways I have grown exponentially in the past couple of years. Yet I have never fully stopped, looked around, and said "Wow, good job me" until after the gallery move out. Everyone reading--once you're done, think through where you were a year ago and where you are now. I promise you've moved forward. Congratulate yourself on growing. 
   
• Know when an experiment is over. A year ago I was SURE I wanted a space for Gadfly to call their own in. I didn't. What I wanted was to find out if we were capable of running an arts space. I wanted to know what that would look like artistically and fiscally. I wanted an experiment. I figured that out pretty quickly upon moving in after a couple of fiascos with keys and doors being unlocked. Now? I am 1,000% positive that I want a space for Gadfly to call their own--but it took realizing it was time to step away from THIS space at THIS moment in time to realize that A) this experiment was successful, but it's over, and B) I was absolutely right about us needing a space to run. There are lots of reasons to do big, audacious things with your life. Do not convince yourself that each bold step is THE step or is meant to last forever. Sometimes an experiment is just an experiment. Your job is to know when it's done. 
   
• Know when something is and is not for you. I can not stress this enough. While it seems like Manny and I act fast sometimes, we never do anything without at least three in depth conversations and a night or two of sleep between each one. We think through every detail, every pro and con, every possible outcome to our so-called hasty decisions. The biggest thing we weigh is "what about this are we meant to work with, and what are we meant to let go of?" A lot of letting go of the gallery came down to this example (which was one of many factors in the decision): we are a wildly inclusive company, but the bathroom in this building was down a flight of stairs. There were days my arthritis was so bad I would buy a $6 coffee next door so that I could use their bathroom and avoid stairs. If the artistic director of a company can not use it's restroom, that is not acceptible, accessibility-wise. This means people in wheelchairs, with mobility issues, or have to use a restroom urgently and suddenly could not comfortably come to our shows. This was a huge problem, and my guilt over the situation increased as our popularity in the space grew. So running a space is definitely for us. Running a space without easy restroom access is not. 
  
  This lesson can and has been applied over other areas of my life even since shutting down the space. Certain kind of client questions are not for me, and I can refer them to someone else when they come up. That doesn't mean I'm not a superb reader, it just means I know I'm not best suited to some questions. As much as we hate to admit it, a lot of our happiness does come down to the choices we are making. I am in no way shutting down how hard mental and physical illness, societal oppression, or actually toxic situations make our life. Please note I said A LOT of our happiness comes from our decisions, not all of it. My advice for ANY choice is to get super clear on what works for you and what doesn't first.
   
• I would also add to the above note, especially since I did mention external pressures and pain: know when you're making a choice. Full disclosure? We did have some expected funding fall through, and that was a factor in making the decision to close the gallery. It was not, however, THE decision making factor.  Shutting down the space was 100% our choice. We had enough resources and renters to keep going, and it was an incredibly hard decision to reach. One message that keeps coming to me spiritually is one to own my choices, and acknowledge when I am able to make one. In all of my careers it is sometimes easy to feel like things have been thrust upon me, but that isn't the reality nearly as often as I would like it to be. Usually I am given a choice. Figure out what the choice or decision is, and be aware you are making it.
   
• Be grateful. Be grateful. Be grateful. This gallery, started by a dear, dear friend of mine was incredibly special. I met my current group of friends that I see the most and consider the closest there, long before it was mine. I fell desperately in love, and then harshly, quickly, angrily out of love in this space. It has been an unendingly vocal space about shaping my art and my life. I created really magical artwork there, and so did so many other fabulous people. I am sentimental to a fault and I had a three day sadness spiral about the space dissipating. But now I'm just so ecstaticly happy that I got to be a part of it and a curator for it, even for the small space in time that it was. There is a not an area of my life where I can slack off on gratitude right now--and that alone, is more than enough reason for the gratitude itself.
   
• Look ahead. There is so much New Age philosophy about staying present, and it's not wrong. Until you can look around and enjoy where you are, you probably aren't going to move forward in leaps and bounds. However, the way you close an experiment is by looking into your actual future. Gadfly is building a proper, working board of directors and otherwise taking it easy for the year outside of producing events. In approximately one year we'll start looking for a semi-permanent space. If those plans weren't in place before we made this decision, who knows how long we would have waffled or if we would even have made the right decision. There is no use staring into the future and hoping for better without enjoying the work you're doing to get there. There's also no use in pretending the future doesn't exist. 

That's it for me and the Multi-Passion Diary today y'all! Sending so much love and light until next time.

Blessed be.

Radical Readers: An Interview Series (Starting With J. Ryan of Queer Street Tarot)

Deck featured is The Tarot of the Silicon Dawn by Egypt Urnash

Welcome to “Radical Readers”, a (hopefully) ongoing new series where I interview professional tarot card readers (and other metaphysical practitioners who are also activists, advocates, or otherwise living and practicing their craft from the margins.

My first Radical interview was really fun for me; J. Ryan of Queer Street Tarot and I met when I was looking for readers for a Pride event last summer. He was thrilled to step in and read for LGBTQ+ seekers and as a bonus we became fast friends. His frank tarot reading style won me over as a reader, and his unexpected sense of humor has kept us tight as friends. J. Ryan works full-time in the metaphysical publishing field and runs Queer Street Tarot. Though J. is currently taking some time away from content creation to design some tarot decks and build his client base, you can catch the archive of really great personal essays and tarot musings here.

Did you learn tarot or witchcraft with your queer identity and radical politic in mind?

I have been reading for fourteen years. My practice has always revolved around my identity as a gay man since I first used the cards to come out and understand myself. This led me to explore Wicca early on and pursue a practice in witchcraft. I don’t actively use spellwork as something I offer to clients but it plays a pretty serious role in my daily life outside of tarot clientele. That has changed over time and let me to explore both my familial roots and their associations with witchcraft.

We seem to be in a much more tumultous time politically than when you started your practice. Has that affected your attitude towards tarot or your Pagan practice? Do you aim any readings/spells/etc. at collective healing or liberation?

Due to the current times we are now facing, I find myself using the cards to see where we are headed as a nation or what can be done on a personal level to be better to those around me when they need me. A lot of my magical and spiritual practice doesn’t use spellwork without using a practical approach as well. The change has to come internally and so I practice a lot of life coaching techniques that then provide the inspiration for whatever spellwork serves as the follow up. I will focus on giving people tools that they can use either small scale at home or larger scale in their communities. That is something I think will really inspire change; communities acting together as one entity to make the changes they need to thrive in this world.

J. Ryan, The Wild Unkown Tarot and a night out.

Are there other intersections of oppression besides sexual identity that you live with that affect your reading style?

It’s harder for me to enter into a lot discussions with people when it comes to social justice issues because another ongoing aspect of my life that has affected my reads has been mental health. I live with both depression and anxiety and have felt how draining it can be to see so much going on around you and feel unable to affect much change at the time. That being said, I am extremely sensitive to people and often I have found that there are people who come into every situation with a sense of anger, rage, and misplace that emotion onto something small and I’ve seen it in some clients. It can be empowering, it can feel righteous but it’s not going to bring a community together unfortunately. A lot of my practice, both magical and non, tries to address this and diffuse any unproductive emotional responses and deliver tools that can be productive.

Anything else you want us to know about your spiritual or activist life?

In discussions with my partner, he and I often talk about the fact that a lot of universities don’t focus on restorative justice, rather they focus on the other kinds of social justice approaches. This eliminates a lot of conversations that need to take place; not that could take place but that need to take place. It is my hope that the magical/tarot/social justice communities do something to bring the focus to restorative justice rather than anything that is going to make the conversation a continuation of the systemically oppressive us vs. them that it has been, especially on social media.

Thanks so much J. Ryan! You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook in addition to his website if you want to find out more.

That's A Wrap on June!

Happy July, friends!

This June we saw Litha, a summer Sabbat best used for thanks and resets. My closest friends and I did a simple spell with roses, the lake, and our deepest wishes. The lake was as wonderful as she should be and the city's reflection reminded us we were home. That is my place to reset: a large body of water, still night air, and lots of thanks to give. Before we made our wishes we thanked our dieties and spiritual energies for the gifts we already had that would enable this next phase of our lives. I am so grateful for my friends and loved ones, my own love of love, my work ethic, my careers, and my magick and gods themselves. I needed room and time for thanks as much as I needed the clarity or the energetic reset. One of my friends bought the most beautiful light purple roses to make our wishes on, and we watched them float away in the water as we breathed in hope and renewal. It was perfect for anytime, but the best Litha I think I've ever had.

So...what else was I up to this June? Uh...kind of a lot.

Tarot Stuffs!

• As mentioned in my last end-of-month post, I have not one, but THREE classes lined up for August and September at various venues! I can officially reveal that on August 17th, I will be revamping my Queering the Tarot class at The Future, a really quirky, unique, very Minneapolis witch store and event center. You can reserve your seat here. I'm pumped. The OTHER two classes will both be...Sex & Tarot! I'm so excited to take my joyfully slutty view of the tarot and teach others to read that way. I'm premiering this one at The Smitten Kitten on August 20th (and then moving it to the Future). It's FREE at the Kitten, so definitely save the date!!!

• I'm still at the Eye of Horus from 11:30-6 on Sundays and 3-9 on Wednesdays. I've been so happy (and busy) the past couple of months, so I'm strongly suggesting appointments if that's where you prefer to read for me.

• If you prefer coming through just my business, that's great too! I'm reading Thurs-Sunday 1-6 P.M. And Monday 1-6 P.M. Or, and the reason I'm writing this when it's clearly visible elsewhere on my site, is that I've been working hard to promote my e-mail reading service and I've been doing some really wonderful readings that way. E-mail snow.cassandra@gmail.com if you're interested.

Things I Wrote

• My review of the radical Urban Tarot by Robin Scott is up at Little Red Tarot. I got some great feedback from the deck creator herself and am so tickled with this deck. If you go back a little deeper on the site, you can also get some Queering the Tarot action.

• Over at Thecolu.mn I'm still covering Queer Arts Must Sees in Minneapolis, giving a needed spotlight to worthy artists, and advancing the Queering the Tarot series.

• Right here on my own blog I wrote another handy, easy tip for learning tarot and let my friend Abbie from Northern Lights Witch take over my Multi-Passion Diaries for the month.

Theatre Life

Photo courtesy of Jessi Hiemer/ @gluestickgeek on Instagram

Okay, so this is where most of my life got away from me this month. In fact, it doesn't even deserve separate bullet points because it was a wild ride where Gadfly was concerned and it's all connected. First, we DID very successfully open and close our annual one-act festival. My play was HILARIOUS, and I'm so proud of everyone's work. The tech week process though? Kinda rough tbh. Our air conditioner broke, we had an actor just straight up not show up for tech rehearsals, and we were tech-ing six shows, some of them fairly artsy, with only a week to do it. You know, with no A.C. And a missing actor. Yet the festival was marvelous, all actors were accounted for during performance, and we closed on a very full, happy audience. Then...as a company, we made a tough, sudden decision. We had applied for several major grants for placemaking, and when they all failed to come through, we decided to let the lease on our art gallery run out instead of battling with another rent increase while still having a non-accessible restroom. This decision also meant a very, very fast turnaround to get out, and basically I've spent the last week cleaning an art gallery. This has been a really emotional turn and change in my life. A very good friend used to run the space, and we took over her lease. It's been queer run for six years. It's been magic this whole time. I met my current closest group of friends there. I fell in and out of love incredibly hard each way in this gallery. I created some of the best work of my life. I made some of the most important, notable connections of my personal and professional life in this gallery. It was a heartbreaking decision that we didn't take lightly. I am hopeful for these next steps. We ended on an incredibly high note. The support as we close up the gallery has been almost overwhelming. My business partner and I are more platonically in love than ever before. We will find a new space--the right space, in the right time. In the meantime? Well, season announcements are coming soon and it's going to be a breathtaking season of queer, feminist art. It's going to be one of our most rad seasons to date, and I'm antsy to reveal info soon...not immediately, but soon.

Recommendations

• Radical Hope: Letters of Love and Dissent in Dangerous Times is the first book in a long time that took me a long time to finish because I wanted to ruminate and absorb it in a way that was as unique as the book is. I can not recommend it enough to activists who love good prose.

• J. Selby's in St. Paul has some of the best vegan food I have ever had in my life. I do eat mostly vegan, but this was truly special. Half comfort food, half gourmet, all delicious.

• Manny and I dealt with our moving day blues for the Gallery by heading to Daddy: A Queer Variety Show and Dance Night, expecting friends and fun. We got those things, but it was also one of the most affirming, queer, warm spaces we've been in in a long time. Normally one of us likes an event more than the other, but we both felt totally at home and totally enthralled. They're doing it again on Thursday, August 10th at the Icehouse. It's so good. Don't miss it if you're a Twin Cities queer!

Other Shenanigans

• My queerplatonic partner and I reached total queerplatonic partner peak this month as we spent our weekly date night on a beach eating pizza and laughing about all the bad sex we've each had with romantic and sexual partners. After a sad day of starting the gallery exit, it was the best thing we could've done for ourselves. Whoever you love or need the most right now, grab a pizza and a beach and hunker down for the night. You'll be transformed.

• Northern Spark, Stone Arch Festival, and in spite of my issues with it this year, Pride all provided what I needed at the time: bonding with friends I already love, some quality solo time, and connecting with people from my community I hadn't seen in awhile, in respective order.

• My darling friend Kate who runs the 318 Cafe did a really sweet gig for charity where she sang with her husband, and then several of our friends joined in for a few songs, and eventually her youngest child took the stage and blew us away with her voice and ukulele skills. It was music and love and giggles all around.

• Goose teenagers at the park. Goose. Teenagers. At. The. Park. I was in love. Until they all started heading towards me at once and then I was kind of scared. But still in love.

That's a wrap for me on a wild, somewhat unpredictable but ultimately beautiful month. This July I'm dog-sitting for a week, then my AMAZING sister is coming down for a week, and in the meantime I've got pieces to write, cards to read, and art to get set on dates and locations. I'm ending the month like I started it: bursting with love and gratitude.

Blessed be, y'all!

My Pride Plans, Litha Spell & Fave Links As Of Late

Happy Pride Month (& weekend for many of us,) y'all!

I started the week on a bit of a downer. My super queer, radical theatre company decided to let our lease go for the art gallery we've been running, primarily because of the disconnect between accessibility and pricing on the space. We've grown a lot in the space though, and having a place where people could find us made our business a million times better so this was a hard decision and is a very sad (although necessary) decision. It does feel empowering to know we could have kept going in the space. We were doing well with renters, and even if we increased rates a little we would have been fine--but there are key issues in the space itself and it just wasn't the best place to pour our resources into anymore. That decision and announcement felt like a rough start to Pride BUT we've got lots of great queer art planned for next season, and it is going to be a fabulous weekend regardless. One of my favorite theatres is running Queertopia 2017 Revolting Bodies * Beyond Flesh. It's always a mind-blowing experience that I'm hoping to catch. I always have very mixed feelings about the actual Pride festival in the park. I have trouble stomaching major corporations that just pulled out of funding major arts events to err on the side of conservatism tabling like they're so radical and queer friendly. This year though, Twin Cities Pride has scaled back on police presence in the wake of the heartbreaking Philando Castile verdict as much as they legally can. Tons of my friends are performing on various stages throughout the festival. I might even be jumping in for a quick improv set on Saturday. On top of that I've got two great shows to see outside of Pride: The Funny by Raw Sugar and Tease by Little Lifeboats. Not Pride related but featuring tons of LGBTQ+ artists and perspectives. I'll be ending the week then on notes that feel exciting and gay and radical as humanly possible, and I am grateful for that. 

I'm feeling even more excited and hopeful after my Litha ritual with my closest friends last night. We had a private spot in a wooded area, a secret beach, and a beautiful bouquet of roses to wish on & with. It was the witchiest I've felt in awhile, and I'm so full of love and thanks for the people in my life and the trajectory my life seems to be on. We created beautiful magick, both aesthetically and spiritually.

I've stayed off the internet more than usual over the past couple of weeks. Some of that was related to being so on-the-go busy as opposed to "I have a lot of clients coming in and deadlines coming up" busy that I couldn't physically stare at the internet a lot. Some of it was to save myself energy. I've been watching the news, reading personal Twitter accounts, and taking part in direct action and creations instead of reading endless thinkpiece about how screwed up everything is. I've been taking friends to lunch to celebrate grad school graduations and birthdays instead of voraciously reading their stuff online (though I do keep up). So we're a little quicker today for the monthly link round-up. I also just felt like the series was a little too lengthy the past couple of times, so I wanted it to be quicker for y'all too. I did read some really fabulous things though, so here are some of my favorite links from the end of May and June.

On Resistance and Transformation
Pollen Midwest has a wonderful piece on successfully confronting white supremacy in the workplace that originated on the Twin Cities Daily Planet. 

Teen Vogue continues to crush it with their take on lack of police accountability. 

Some bittersweet musings on Pride that I relate to a gajillion percent. 

One of the number one ways to create substantial change is to VOTE. AND in these next few elections, there's a couple of candidates worth your attention. Teen Vogue talks to four trans candidates running for office. (Two of them in my city and looking good to win!)

Alternatively, one of the reasons I'm losing even more faith in the system. Democrats don't care as much about pro-life legislation as they used to. Meanwhile I continue screaming into the abyss.

Tarot & Magick
There are a lot of scam "psychics" out there, and I do feel myself defending my field and my craft a lot. But what happens when you, as a tarot reader (or any small entrepreneur) get scammed?

HUGE SOLAR ECLIPSE IS COMING AND I'M BESIDE MYSELF. 

Struggling to learn to read tarot? Jess Carlson has some lovely tips for you.

Similarly, Jessi Huntenberg talks about How to Give Awesome Tarot Readings here.

Over at The Tarot Lady, tarot deck creators delve into their creative processes for us.

If you're having trouble at work, Llewellyn has a great list of protective crystals to utilize.

Another easy to follow list, this time from The Witch of Lupine Hollow, and on starting your first magickal toolkit!

Getting Your Life Together
Zen Habits is a great beginner's guide to simplifying your life and incorporating Eastern philosophy in. This guide to "How to Love Your Dark Side" touched on a lot of recent conversations I've been having lately. 

Sarah Von Bargen has a frank post about the choices you make (and how they create the life you lead) here. 

I love quick quote round-ups and I love business advice from people who. have. been. there. This list of launch lessons from When I Grow Up Coach is both, and features some really high profile bloggers and solopreneurs.

Another great Tarot Lady post, this time on her writing process. This one is pretty juicy and full of tidbits for your own writing process. 

Seth Godin on why you're missing out if you're only hitting greatest hits lists.

Queer Lifestyle (IE Not Politics)
My beloved Wonder Woman's queer history. (Seriously how are constant references to Sappho even considered coded?!)

The Mary Sue pays homage to five great bisexual TV characters from nerd-dom here.

David Sedaris has a new book I haven't bought yet, primarily because I need paperback for big, heavy books. Thanks, arthritis. But here's a lovely Q&A with him leading up to that.

Theatre & Art
If Black Lives Matter, why aren't you disrupting the narrative of white supremacy better? A scathing, important piece from Bitter Gertrude.

I loved this article from Howlround on your basic job as a director: getting out of the way. 

Of Misc. Interest
I adore Halsey not only for her music, but because of her brazen conversations about bipolar disorder, being bisexual, and living an openly feminist life. Here's a great convo between her and complete and utter idol Debbie Harry. 

A thing I relate too way too much from Jenny Lawson: "I'm less sick than before, but I'm also less than I was before."

One of the best things on veganism I've read in awhile. (I identify as "mostly vegan".)

Posters & art for the upcoming Black Panther movie are awe-striking. But some of y'all had the absolute most wrong response to them.

An in-depth history of advice columns and our obsession with them. I loved this!

AND the absolute only piece I read this month that it is fitting or appropriate to end my post today with: Mermaids are Cruel Bloodthirsty Succubbi...and Why That's A Good Thing.

That's it for me y'all! Have a good one! 

Blessed be.

Tarot Learning Tip: Which Way Do Your Faces Face?

Hello loves!

I'm back with another quick tip for learning and bonding with your tarot deck. Admittedly, today's trick is one that only works if some of your cards have faces—but any faces will apply (human, animal, robot).

As I teach and write about tarot, I always emphasize the importance of paying close attention and looking for details in the images in the cards. One such detail: in your cards that have figures who have faces, look for two things. 1) Which way is the face facing? & 2) Which way are the figure's eyes facing?

There's two facets to this. One is in finding the deepest, most detailed information about your tarot cards while you're still learning them. Spread your cards out in order. Most tarot decks that feature faces will have a ton of them in the Major Arcana, so that's our best best for a starting point and the one I'll use as an example, but I do recommend going through by suit and doing the same thing. So, now that they're laid out—which way are the faces and then eyes facing? What does this tell you personally about the cards and their intentions?

For example, in this take on The Fool from Barbara Moore's Book of Shadows As Above, The Summerlands shows someones looking away from the entire rest of the deck. What could that mean? Use your knowledge of The Fool (new ventures, new chapter, stepping into something different but also maybe a little naïve or, ahem, foolish). Is this figure stepping into the Summerlands, the afterlife, the next major karmic chapter in their life turning their back on the deck to keep the surprise alive? To avoid facing the realities coming their way? Or just to truly live and bask in that new vibe and energy? It's probably all three, but look at the eyes too—facing up towards the sky. This card looks up, not down, faces the magic they're creating but not the other stuff about to set in.

Another example is our very next card—the High Priestess is usually looking straight ahead, not towards or away from any of the other cards. This means this card is completely focused on the querent who pulls Her. She's trying to peer into your soul and dig at that deep access. She's completely unconcerned with what's going on around her, she just wants to see YOU, and as such this card is a firm reminder that you have the answers and have what you need, and that maybe you just need to dig deeper to find it. In the picture, we see a slightly different take on her too—the Sorceress from D.J. Conway's Shapeshifter Tarot. She's actually looking slightly to the majority of the rest of the cards. A sorceress is a take on, but is not a direct synonym for a High Priestess. So is this Sorceress casting a spell to make the rest of the Fool's Journey unfold? It sure seems that way.

A final example before we move on comes from later in the Major Arcana. The Star or Stars is a card of renewal and of hope and of faith--but I've also long looked at it as a card of knowing you have enough resources and are contributing resources back to the Universe too. It's a card of reciprocity and universal love and trust. So in the examples below, where are the women in the Star card looking? They're looking right at the water, the symbol of healing, the resource in question. Or perhaps the one from the Book of Shadows So Below is looking at her family and the fun scene they've created together. In short, she's looking at the world and life she's created but that she gets so much back from. Her eyes then too don't leave the scene. In Egypt Urnash's Tarot of the Silicon Dawn we don't see her eyes, per se. But they too are focused on what she's giving and pouring out.

Once you have a handle on how face & eye placement affects your cards overall, it's time to start mixing them into readings. I've moved on to using all of the cards, and let's take a look at the very strong statement made the face and eye placement in the Six and Eight of Wands when pulled together from Siolo Thompson's Linestrider Tarot. The Man or Statue depending on your interpretation in the Six of Wands is looking right at the slightly nervous deer in the Eight of Wands who is trying to look back without being noticed. This deer is trying to move straight along their path but is looking back to a safer or more easily victorious time. Looking further, if the Six of Wands is a card of victory and triumph and the Eight is a card of very excitable but fast, often intimidating energy then it stands to reason that we are seeking triumph and control over our schedules. We might not be comfortable with the fast pace we are moving in, or it could be an assurance that we are in control and the things we're wanting to be triumphant about are happening—just maybe a little quicker than we are comfortable with. In that case the advice might be to look back to another time when you were moving quickly, seemingly too quickly, but ending up conquering something you'd been working towards for a long time.

From the Prisma Visions Tarot pictured above, we have the Tower—a card of disaster, of everything we hold dear being torn down, of things being taken away from us. We also see the Seven of Wands, which can indicate a need to stand up for ourself and, from the image at hand, move forward no matter how rashly and confusingly we must do it. Yet sitting in the middle is the Four of Chalices. This is a card of discontentment and dissatisfaction, of excessive emotions or woolgathering. Yet in this spread, there's no surprise as to the “why!” This little child's face is pointed right at The Tower and all of the things they've lost. Their eyes look right at the building about to topple and refuse to acknowledge that maybe life goes on after, or maybe they should stand up for themselves, or maybe, just maybe, it'll feel more liberating to move about with fewer resources. What a powerful statement and reading, and look how much of it came just because of how the kid's face and eyes are pointed!

There are oodles (a very scientific number) of ways to maximize your time learning your tarot deck—this is just one, but can lead you to others. Thinking about face placement can lead you to think about body language. Thinking about body language can get you to look closer. Looking closer can tell all kinds of new stories with any tarot deck. So go forth, let they “eyes” have it (SORRY FOR THIS PUN. I AM THE WORST), and dig deeper with your tarot deck every chance you get.

Blessed be, y'all!

Multi-Passion Diaries: A Witch Infiltrates the Public Policy Field

Hello all! Welcome back to my ongoing Multi-Passion Diaries where I explore what it's like to be a theatre making, tarot card-slinging, freelance writing entrepreneur and general adventurous but introverted human in today's world. I also host guest blogs, which is what today is! E-mail snow.cassandra@gmail.com if you're interested in contributing.

I'm so, so excited about our guest blogger today. Abbie from Northern Lights Witch is a close friend of mine (she even crashed in my spare bedroom for awhile when her job life got weird) who runs a really great witch business while managing a career in Public Policy.  Read all about how she juggles the two and what she's learning along the way. 

I have always, always been a multipassionate. When I was a child, I wanted to be both a journalist, and an artist, and also I wanted to be a biologist. All at the same time. In high school, I spent my early mornings with the jazz band, worked hard to keep my grades up and my writing top-notch, and spent the evenings in rehearsal as an actress. I almost went to school to become a jazz musician, but decided during my senior year that I would rather be a writer. By the end of my senior year, I had decided that the best way I could make a difference in the world was to become a human rights lawyer.

Spoiler alert: I am none of those things now.

I don’t play in a band, I don’t work for a newspaper, and I don’t have a law degree.

What I DO have is a Master’s in Public Policy, with a part-time job working on water policy and mining in Northern Minnesota, and a tarot business.

I miss the arts. I miss playing music – when I listen to music, I yearn to play, and when I try to play I’m frustrated that it’s not as easy as it once was. I miss performing. But I am able to write in all of my careers. Writing is the constant that holds together all the pieces of me.

Recently, I wrote on my own blog (link to my multipassionate post) about the cycles that you go through as a multipassionate professional. It’s important to recognize that sometimes, when you’re balancing two (or more!) careers, you need to put more energy into one of them than the other. That doesn’t mean that you don’t still have those multiple careers – it just means that the balance has shifted somewhere different for a while.

For the last ten years, I have put almost all of my energy into my career in public policy. To an extent, it’s important to be creative in the field of public policy. It takes a deep level of analysis to take in all the information that you need, and to find new solutions to difficult social and environmental problems. But there isn’t that sense of freedom I crave.

Me with a dear friend at graduation

I started Northern Lights Witch while I was still seeking my Master’s degree, in large part because tarot was (is?) having a Moment and it’s been a part of my personal spiritual practice for over 12 years. But really: I needed an outlet where it was ok to talk about my understanding of the world in terms of intuition, rather than logic. I needed a space where I could deeply explore my identity as a witch, as well as write creatively about witchcraft and the Unseen parts of the world.

It was a rebellion against the strict career positioning necessary in a graduate program.

But as I’ve moved through both careers, I find that they really do inform one another in interesting ways. They are very different, and use different parts of my brain, but there are lessons to be learned that carry through both places.

1. Trust your goddamn intuition. As much as public policy is about logic, it is also about intuition. This is especially critical when communicating with decision makers and those who hold power. It’s more important to read between the lines, to read the body language rather than the words. Now, I am not a mind-reader and it’s important to give people the benefit of the doubt, but it is possible to pick up a lot from nonverbal communication. Those gut instincts? Critical.

2. Do. The. Work. When you’re working on legislative campaigns and issues, things move quickly. Sometimes, you’ll be asked to produce a policy memo in two days that needs to be researched in depth. I once wrote a policy brief that was 10 pages with 160+ individual citations in a week. I need to do a better job of translating this work ethic to my own tarot business, but I know that I have a capacity to produce top-notch work on a short timeline and with few resources.

3. Know when something is outside of your control. Reading tarot has made me keenly aware of forces that are greater than myself. The election of Donald Trump to the presidency, and the subsequent radical alt-right takeover at many other levels of governance, has taught me important lessons about playing defense. And a lot of the time, things are outside of my control – and so I need to know when to use my power and how to use my power to the greatest advantage. Witchcraft and tarot are both ways of exploring the unknown, ways of exploring your own power. It is far easier to influence policy for the better when you know what is and isn’t within your sphere of influence. It’s important to concentrate your energy where you will actually have power, instead of needlessly running into walls. Tarot helps me accept that which is not within my control, and can remind me when I’m not focusing well.

Going deep on a tarot reading

Tarot and public policy hone crossover skills – writing, intuition, communication, analysis – but they also hold particular tensions.

When I accepted my current job, I decided to have my birth chart read for the first time. I knew that I would be moving to a more rural community, and I had concerns about being “out” as a witch. She advised me that it’s important to first establish credibility as a kickass environmentalist, and then to mention that I’m “tarot-interested.” I still haven’t told my boss that I do tarot readings. I’m terrified that I will lose his respect – or fail to gain it.

And so I need to be careful about how open I am. My last name isn’t listed anywhere on my website, nor is my address. This has made it hard for me to fully throw my energy behind marketing, getting myself out there, and pitching podcasts and blogs. Not all positions within the field of public policy come with these politics – but navigating the field as a young person means I need to think critically about this. I need to establish credibility above anything right now.

Soon, I hope to have a position that will allow me to bring my full self to all aspects of my work. Until then, I must keep my witchcraft in shadow. But the lessons I learn from the tarot resonate through all aspects of my life, and make me a stronger advocate. No matter how open I am about them.

More About Abbie here, including bio and tarot info.

Cat Pee, Car Trouble & Looking Ahead

                                One of my many beautiful walks along the river from May

Last week my roommate came home and I was sobbing uncontrollably, absolutely distraught. I felt totally helpless and like all of the work I put into my career, my home, my relationships was completely worthless. Why?

Because I came home and my cat had clearly peed in the front hallway, making my whole large-but-still-an-apartment-sized-apartment reek of cat pee. In truth, that was obviously not the real reason. I woke up in a bad mood because of PTSD-fueled nightmares all night. I was exhausted and stressed out. Money was hemorrhaging due to car trouble much quicker than it was coming in and it'd been a whole day of dealing with said car trouble instead of being productive. And...the cat pee caused my already poverty-trauma laden brain to flash back to growing up with a million animals with no one disciplined enough to properly care for them around, and certainly no one with enough means to care for them coming by. I have spent my entire life scratching and crawling my way away from that life, and to have a day where money was leaking everywhere coupled with that familiar smell, I lost it, completely. Then I lost two more days because of PTSD--some related to my upbringing, some related to the sexual assault reminders coming in while I was trying to sleep. 

My Virgo roommate (who also did not have a lot of pets growing up) handled my hysterical breakdown as well as anyone could have, and came up with solutions like strategically placing cat food, toys, and treats where they like to pee so they won't anymore. Knock on wood, it's worked for almost a whole week! So I went into writing this post feeling like May was a wash--but really I've accomplished a lot, had a lot of shenanigans, and am very happy about all of the great things coming up this June. The biggest takeaway from this experience though is how everyone in my life treated me. My Eye of Horus fam totally left me alone in between clients because what I needed was rest and quiet. My roommate/queerplatonic partner came up with solutions and was totally understanding about the reasons for the breakdown. My best friend talked me off a cliff about my professional concerns. It was a reminder of what I'm building outside of my professional life: a community, a home, a nest of love & safety. The things that make life worth living when the sun goes down are all here even when I'm freaking out over cat pee. And that feels pretty damn good.

My end of May wrap-up then, actually looks pretty good and gives me (and you!) even more to get excited about! So let's jump in:

Tarot Stuffs!

• I have not one, but THREE classes lined up for August and September at various venues. Info is incoming about those but if you like sex & love queers you're going to be elated to find out what I have up my sleeve.
• I received a review copy of this beautiful deck. Review still pending but this deck is beautiful. I am so attached to it already. 
• I am actually on in-person tarot reading hiatus except for Eye of Horus shifts and e-mail readings until June 12th because of overload, spoons, and practicality. But you can sign up for the latter half of the month now, snag an e-mail reading or visit me at the store anytime.

Things I Wrote

• Queering the Tarot updates are here and here. I love how much this series has taken off and become such a core function of both my tarot business and my writing. I want to write it forever, but, of course, I will run out of cards eventually. In the meantime, book mark one of the two sites to see updates!
• I started a pretty happening queer arts calendar at The Column, so if you live in or near the Twin Cities, I'm so happy to report that there's this easy go-to for you to find radical entertainment.
• I'm back on Siobhan's Mirror slinging Tarot 'Scopes this month!
• My friend Sarah McPeck put together a wonderful storytelling show to benefit Clare Housing and I told my always raucous story of getting a really aggressive period at a really fancy dinner party. That story might be told at a much bigger outlet pretty soon, so I am very excited for that.

Theatre Life

• Eek! Opening THIS weekend are some plays I wrote. I, unfortunately, can not make it to the shows because I'm scheduled for reader shifts and I need them, but I am very happy with my pieces and so sad to be missing the show for the first time in quite awhile.
• Gadfly has this queer, feminist, geeky one-act fest opening NEXT WEEK. Ahhh! I'm so pumped--my show has a talking penguin and a non-binary knight and the beautiful princess gets to eat the whole time. The whole festival is something I'm really proud of though. Our shows, casts, directors are absolutely stunning. 

                   My really great cast for Sky's The Limit as part of our one-act festival.

• The Big Queer Garage Sale was a hit! It was a little slow on all days, but we made some decent money anyway AND got rid of a bunch of super space-consuming stuff. Plus some of my favorite people walked away with fairy wings and mysterious capes!

Recommendations

• I can not recommend Hasan Minhaj's comedy special on Netflix enough. It is, as many have said, storytelling at it's finest. I also laughed harder than I have in a long, long time. As a bonus, here's Minhaj talking more about politics, married life, and other stuff.
• I read A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman and cried inconsolably for like an hour and a half. I also loved Animals Strike Curious Poses, a book of essays by Elena Passarello about animals we (humans) have immortalized.

Other Shenanigans

• I got to help Northern Lights Witch set up for her business birthday rompus and ended up winning two BEAUTIFUL and DELICIOUS teas from Asali Earthwork. 

• My homegirl took me out for diner food after my storytelling gig, and me, her, and my QPP ended up just sitting in her car and laughing over nothing for a couple of hours. That simple night really helped me get back on my feet after a rough week. A true sign of solid friendships is that while we still kill it as drag show and burlesque audiences and get a little too wild on the dance floor, a Saturday night at a diner and an hour of laughs in a car are every bit as restorative as "losing control."
• Are you aware of Lotus candles? They do not work, but they are fun. Actually let me rephrase: they work fine. They do not stop working until your queerplatonic partner peels off every petal, rips off the top and crushes the music box that has been running an instrumental "Happy Birthday" for literal hours. 
• Finally, the Bisexual Organizing Project put together a show called Bi-lesque: Gender Anarchy earlier this month and it was the queerest, sexiest, most fun show I have seen in ages. I'm not sure if there's anything like it coming down the hatch, but you can follow BOP on Twitter to find out. 

I'm going to end this entry on two PSAs today:
1) I went to an ENT specialist last week, and it turns out the ENT will make you snort numbing spray and then shove a camera up your nose and down your throat. It is not fun, and I was completely unaware of this procedure until I got there. I just want to save you the same shock and, also, complain a little. 
2) Sometimes your bank gets shut down from the FDIC super suddenly so you have to take a day to visit 10 different banks and drink all the complimentary coffee, and anyway, if you have a decent credit score, credit unions are the way to go for free coffee and better banking. Technically there is still a bank where my money from my old bank sits (for now). It is forty minutes away in a suburb with no public transit there, so...

Anyway, that's it for me! Coming up in June:

• Northern Lights Witch is going to take over my Multi-Passion Diary for the month, 
• You'll hear more about my upcoming tarot classes, and...
• There will be even more Queering the Tarot's in the world!
• Plus, you know, this totally small, not at all time-consuming one-act festival I'm producing.

Blessed be y'all! 

It's May 20th! So Here's A Round Up Of Great Internet Links!

My "Queering the King of Wands" piece is up at TheColu.mn & Littleredtarot.com right now!

May has somehow simultaneously crawled and flown by. I'm directing a one-act which is substantially less time-consuming than directing a full-length show. Steady gigs have been moving alone but slowly. It's like I'm going half-speed at every facet of my life right now, even though I'm working on plugging away on my end at the hoped for speed. I know one thing making me feel weird is that I'm dying and itching to get out of town for a couple of days but NO ONE has the same schedule as me. My queerplatonic partner works doubles at their day job on the days I'd be able too. Another close friend has some time on one of the days but her other free time is a steady gig day. Other friends could go during the week, but only on days I have rehearsal. It's maddening but I'm sure I'll find a way to break away soon.

In the meantime, here's some internet I really loved as I read scores of internet in hopes of becoming a better writer/tarot reader/theatre person/queer person/resister/human:

On Activism and Allyship

• If you work in the service industry, Barista Magazine has a great piece here about degendering language in the workplace.
• On appropriation and fighting back: a true ongoing story about Mayan women and their fight to have their work protected.
• A modern look at Act Up, where we should be looking up to them, and how we could do better now.
• Janet Mock on Glam as a Survival Tactic. So lovely.
• Somehow the free speech brigade has been pretty quiet about this actual attempt at censoring Linda Sarsour.
• On Gentrification, Displacement, and Resistance.
• Are we witnessing a slow-motion coup? This was written before the past week's complete and utter chaos, but it's important nonetheless.
• Queeros from every state! (That's a mash-up of "Queer Hero" by the way. You're welcome.)
• I. Love. The. Lesbian. Avengers.
• From A Cup of Jo: 5 Ways to Teach Kids About Consent.
• This is a few weeks old now but I was riveted and disgusted to learn about the 745 oil spills North Dakota has already dealt with before the DPL even starts.
• A landmark, overdue study on chest binding is happening now!

Art and Theatre Nerd Stuff

• Harmonia Rosales re-created the "Creation of Adam" with black women and it is beautiful.
• Re-claiming Miss Julie hits on some ideas I've been mulling over for awhile. I love classic work but HOW DO with my current artistic sensibilities?
• Nonprofit AF has a really important post up about how donor centrism perpetuates inequity and it kind of shook me as a producer.
• This thought-provoking piece on creativity and what makes it work made me so happy.
• I'm still not over Moonlight, and neither are a bunch of other people!

Witch Life

• A Lavender Moon's piece on why she's studying druidry is a great personal piece on spirituality AND a great primer on druidry.
• Some stuff you probably didn't know about Dionysus.
• We just had a Nodal Axis Shift--here's what that means for you.
• Worts and Cunning's blog about herbal powders literally changed my life. I'm not even kidding. Herbal powders for SMOOTHIES? Why didn't I think of this before.
• Beth writes about all four tarot queens and what they offer as a mentor here. It's great.
• Speaking of Beth, here's a Little Red Tarot community roundtable on grounding. (What is it? How do we do it?)

Business & Writing

• " Everyone has feelings and opinions, but the future ignores them. "--
• Some miscellaneous career advice from Mighty Girl that spoke to me. It's also a really great writing prompt and motivator. 
• Esme Wang's writing is always great, but this piece on chronic illness and feeling lazy really hit home for me.
• Related: I don't even have words for how moved I was by this piece on writing, dreamscapes, and so, so much more.
• All of The Tarot Lady's stuff is A+ plus I especially loved this piece from her Soul Propietor series on knowing the difference between stepping out of your comfort and stepping ON your integrity.
• I had some issues with some things on this list of how to support writers without buying their books, but there's also some great ideas. Please don't mess up a store's inventory though. Someone isn't paid enough to come through and fix that.
• One of my favorite pieces I've read all month from Yes and Yes. "Stop Making it So Hard."

Miscellaneous (IE: the Most Fun Collection of Links)

• I occasionally check in on Alicia Silverstone (an early childhood crush) and her vegan advice and recommendations. Her list of film-ready vegan make up products includes some surprisingly affordable options, and few key splurges.
• Stevie Nicks kicking butt in this vintage self-defense book was really fun + it made my heart go pitter-patter, because Stevie Nicks.
• A whole Tumblr of really funny adventures making AI do things like create and illustrate stories.
• A standalone webcomic about fat sexuality. It's really cute but also really helpful.
• Also on being fat and rad: this in-depth part review, part article about Gabourey Sidibe's new book is amazing.
• In case you haven't laughed out loud yet today.
• I have no idea if anyone here loves Jenny Lawson as much as I do--and if you don't know either, check out her personal creepy doll challenge to see if she's for you.
• This piece has made the rounds but in case you missed it: "My Father Spent 30 Years in Prison. Now He's Out."
• On disability, dating, and finally coming around to self-love. I maybe choked up a few times as this piece resonated with me. Maybe.
• Block People and Pretend They Died is much less self-love and much more candid snark than I ever could have anticipated. I laughed so hard when they started listing the reasons they've blocked people.

Happy reading, happy weekend, and blessed be!

Cassandra Snow

Learning Tarot: The Art Matters More + Some Games!

Me, the Tarot of the Silicon Dawn, and Jessa Crispin's "The Creative Tarot" getting some learning done.

Hello all!

The collective unconscious trips me up sometimes; I meant to write a post last week on this topic, and then Biddy Tarot posted an alarmingly similar one here. I strongly encourage you to go read that post first, as I didn't want to replicate information on this one.

Learning Tarot can and should be a simple, fun, personalized process where your own reactions and experiences matter more than an any prescribed notions, so the easiest way to learn it may to be throw your Little White Book to the side for now and try a different approach. From Biddy Tarot's blog:

“Describe the picture. What story is it telling? Think about:

Are there people in the card?
What are they doing?
What objects are in the card?
Why do you think those objects are there?
Why is the person there?
What’s in the background?
What’s in the foreground?
How do all of these different elements come together?”

— BiddyTarot.com

To that incredibly comprehensive list, I would also add that I'm a huge fan of color theory in art and tarot as well. What does green mean to you and how does that apply when almost a whole card is green? This is less helpful in a black and white deck, obviously, but the shading and line work can still give you clues to the artist's intended meaning. Paying attention to specific symbols like animals, astrological symbols, seasons, and callbacks to other cards in your deck are also wildly helpful in learning your tarot deck inside and out. Most tarot readers, myself included, will tell you to journal on these discoveries, even if you're not a journaler. The payoff when you look at old entries two years later is completely worth it. Learning your cards this way first will also allow you to pick up another deck easily when you're ready.

AS PROMISED, I've also got some games to share with you to help you learn this way. Some of these I've learned at meet-ups or talking to other readers, and some I've developed on my own. You need:

• A tarot deck you don't know super well
• A friend who loves tarot and has a deck

That's it! Do whatever you would do to prepare to read for someone (shuffle each other's decks, or your own, etc.) and then take your respective decks that you're learning back. You'll both want to think for a few moments to come up with a deluge of questions to ask each other.

• Then taking turns, ask questions and have your game partner answer based only on what is happening in the picture.
• Or based on the animal in the card.
• Or based solely on intuition.
• Or based on what the person in the card is doing.
• Or based on a symbol that jumps out at you and nothing else.
• Or based on how the colors in the picture work together.
• Etc, etc.

There are a couple of other rules in these games. They should be rapid fire. The questions you each ask should be ones you are curious about but not life or death. You have to trust your gut. If the symbol that jumps out at you is an apple but the biggest one is different, no sweat. Trust the apple. You should not apply any knowledge of the cards beyond whichever version of the game you are playing allows for, period. Finally, as a side note, if you're playing "What does the animal on the card tell us," for example, and you pull a card that doesn't have an animal, as Nancy Antenucci taught me, the answer to that question is "You already know the answer." (Nancy also taught me a few rad versions of this game too.)

That's it! While learning tarot has a lot of grooves and nuances, these methods and games will make you feel super solid on individual cards and what they're trying to tell you. If you're interested in really hunkering down to study, my Coaching package is available here or you can come in for a one of session to clarify some things.

Blessed be y'all!

Peace Out, April!

Easter cookies received as a gift to help usher in a new season and era!

A month is not inherently bad, nor does it cause pain on it's own or without provocation. In fact, April has brought me a number of highlights and joys we'll break into in a minute. But it also brought me these things:

• A phone so broken it wouldn't even turn on and a phone company insisting on a pretty high payout to do anything about it or turn a new one on.
• My queerplatonic partner getting extorted for money without any evidence or proof over something that happened over a year ago and getting verbally abused in the process.
• A tax bill I wasn't quite ready for. (This one is, admittedly, on me. Lesson learned.)
• AND A mystery illness that is forcing me to get a neck/throat ultrasound this week and sending me to specialists. I can barely eat. It's....awful.

I spent the entire month near breakdown point in spite of friends and family helping out every time they could and things otherwise going swimmingly. Things thawed out towards the end, but I had to catch up putting together a community garage sale & one act festival, running a tarot business, and writing deadlines. It's been...a lot. Even so, I'm very proud of what I've accomplished in my career and the adventures I did squeeze in. Such as:

• Tarot Hits: I acquired a Mystical Spiral from Lo Scarebo that is not my normal hyperqueer, feminist fare but is so delightfully absurd that I adore it. In actual tarot business life I'm working on TWO tarot e-books at the moment. It is my fondest, greatest wish to get a quick, popcorn take on Queering the Tarot out this April. I've got a bigger project that's more of a workbook on learning tarot the storytelling & art theory way that I'm slowly chipping away at. In the meantime, I LOVE the Sunday shifts I've picked up at Eye of Horus, the clients I've seen at my studio, and seeing my student pool grow so much this month. I'll have a couple of classes to announce soon which is VERY exciting. I also had the very distinct honor of being featured on one of my utmost tarot hero's blog as well.
• Stuff I Wrote: I had a wonderful time at my steady writing gig, including this review that breaks down why casting cisgender people in transgender roles is stupid and goes into ways NOT write a trans character in the first place. I've officially queered all the wands of the tarot too. Right now the King is only available at The Column, but will be dropping into Little Red this coming month.
• Theatre Kid Chronicles: Not a ton to report, but I'll be blogging about June one act festival a lot over the next couple of months, I'm sure. My company is running a huge community garage sale tomorrow from 8-2, so if you're in the Twin Cities, come on down to the Fox Egg Gallery!

Rocking this theatre kid life with my biz & queerplatonic partner.

• Reading & Watching Recommendations: I think this was technically May, but there's a recent episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine that seriously addresses the intersection of being black and a cop. It is so so good. I read much more than I zoned out to the TV for this month. I devoured the most recent Saga graphic novel. I also maybe cried or something over it. I dunno. I read Unholy Night, a semi-horror retelling of the three wise men tale, and it was really silly but weirdly gripping.
• Other Adventures: MAYBE my best friend's oldest kid hid a bunch of bananas around her house and I went to help her find them, only to have my queerplatonic partner turn around and re-hide them all. Maybe. I also went to a bunch of really great live shows: a comedy show at Lush run by my friend Sarah, a flash theatre project at Patrick's Cabaret, and a modern retelling of Prometheus Bound were all super exceptional.  My favorite was a night featuring Venus DeMars and a slew of A-List Minneapolis performers raise money for The Aliveness Project called Last Call. It was beautiful from start to finish. I ended the month with my best adventure for it--checking out the new Lotus restaurant in Uptown and ending up walking around a Thai New Year's Festival where I got blessed by monks (the bracelet they gave me went right on my altar) and got to hear some great Thai music.

Lanterns for luck at the Thai New Year Festival I ran into.

That's pretty much it for my April. I had some beautiful moments, but am not sorry to be into May which has already been amazing so far. Wishing you and yours a month of laughter and brightness.

Blessed be y'all!

My Favorite Internet This Month! (Plus a Tarot Learnin' Tip!)

One of my favorite cards from my favorite deck.

My darling friend J Ryan from Queer Street Tarot gifted me a "Mystical Tarot" last week; this is a deck that is mass produced through Lo Scarebo/Llewellyn but it really stuck out to me in spite of not being overtly queer or feminist as a deck. The deck LOOKS like a classical art deck, but a more careful peek shows a lot of quirk and absurdity and I fell in love, so I was so grateful for the gift. That night, before I'd practice with my roommate, I did something I always do before I spread out my cards and play. "What are you doing?" Manny asked.

"Finding the most important card" I responded with the subtext of "Duh." They were understandably confused, so I thought I'd elaborate here since this is not as common a practice as I thought. Little Red Tarot and all of us who write over there, as well as countless other, usually do a deck interview when we have time to sit down with the deck to truly get to know it. However, I do something WAY before that stage when I am either trying out a new deck to see I want to own it or figuring out how a gift and I fit together. I simply shuffle the cards, ask the deck what the "most important" card in this deck is, and pull. To me this is the card that tells me what this deck's highest function is--what it wants to be used for, how it communicated, and how I as a reader can work with it best. The Slow Holler (pictured above) told me it was a deck best used to help me communicate my visions for all of the things I am so fired up and passionate about. The Slow Holler is indeed a deck of healing, but it's also one of inspiration and fire starting. Creating change in all I do, this is my favorite deck because it helps me plot that so perfectly. In the case of the Mystical Tarot I drew The Star--a card of rest, renewal, but yes, deep faith in myself and my Divine and the world around me so chock full of resources and life. This is a deck that will both deepen my relationship with myself and the Divine, but will also help me find practical resources when need be whether I'm planning an art project, a business venture, or a revolution. Try it with your favorite deck, and see what you come up with. I usually will pull fresh every few months for the decks I use most often, and when I pick up one I've been neglecting I pull one to start too. In the meantime, here's a whole lot of links!

Tarot and Witchcraft

• A lovely glamour based on who you are from the Witch of Lupine Hollow.
• Alexis has some great observations on mistakes every tarot reader makes.
• Siobhan (of Siobhan's Mirror) and Asali (of Asali Earthwork) have a great conversation that I've even re-read a couple of times here.
• I love the Tarot in Art series and was excited to learn about a work and painter I hadn't yet. Catch up on the whole thing by following links through if you haven't.
• Mary K. Greer has a very fun murder mystery based on the tarot happening over at her blog!
• Do you follow local (Minneapolis) Astrology Whiz Heather Roan Robbins yet? You definitely should; she's a rock star at what she does, and her Starcode series is beyond helpful.
• Haiti, Vodou and the Racism inherent when we talk about either.
• A shrine to slutty queerness over on Little Red!!! I'm so happy about this whole thing.
• I don't even want to tell you anything about this Hood Witch post about Becoming the Earth because you need to just go experience it for yourself.

Queerness, Feminism, and Anti-Racism

• A really important, beautifully written essay on being a WOC who's also adventurous and outdoorsy. I can't do it justice--read here.
• Think you can be body positive without being feminist? NOPE.
• Autostraddle covers a really lovely, sweet photo project of queers at home that also goes pretty deep into what home even means for us.
• Also from Autostraddle: 5 Tips for a Great Activist Meeting.
• Stuff Only Women Writers Hear (with input from fab black women writers too).
• I am mad at United Airlines. But I'm mostly mad at America.
• Ojibwe History from Colonization to Present. A headier read, but definitely necessary and incredibly well-done.
• Oof, I relate to this piece so hard. Family, don't read this one. I'm serious. (Title: "How My Dad's Dirty Magazines Shaped My Queer Sexuality")
• From Cosmopolitan actually, this piece on how yes, even in 2017 it is still terrifying to do basic things like hold a partner's hand is so, so important. Related, Unicorn Booty unveils the reality of how many are uncomfortable with LGBTQ+ Americans, and TBH now I'm permanently uncomfortable.
• The Joy of Being Unlikeable is something I not only wish to every radical fighting the fight that I know, but a really smart, properly emotional blog post!
• So it turns out that women are better leaders than men. I'm so...so...shocked....

For Artists and Theatre Kids

• Something I struggle with regularly--making a life in the arts manageable financially. This piece does NOT sugar coat or mince words.
• STOP. COMPLAINING. ABOUT. OVERHEAD. IF. YOU. WANT. TO. SUPPORT. THE. ARTS. (or any non-profit).
• A really good roundup of things we just shouldn't do in the arts anymore.
• A Transgender Theatre Revolution in Chicago!

On Writing

• If you love Dear Prudence, you will REALLY love this interview with Mallory Ortberg.
• Jia Tolentino vents about the gig economy and honestly I applauded when I finished.
• Life Advice from Adrienne Rich makes me swoony. So does anything Adrienne Rich.
• Sara Benincasa's Letter to a Worried Writer resurfaced recently and it's SO good.
• Kai Cheng Thom's book is a complete delight, and so is this interview over at Bitch

Just Because

• Some great tips for Impact Play in your boudoir (or wherever you like to do such things).
• The U.S. used to send prominent jazz musicians like Louis Armstrong overseas...to fight communism!
• Wanna give your friend (or yourself) a hilarious yet artsy yet affordable gift? These Badly Drawn Authors are truly outstanding.
• WHY DO I LIKE THESE BDSM DOLLHOUSES SO MUCH? Jk, I know why.
• So, the Tyranosaurus Rex was apparently a very kind lover. Who knew?
• ICYMI: Every Story About Trump Supporters from the Washington Post made the rounds a while back but is legit laugh-out-loud funny and spot on.
• True crime story about the kidnapping case Lolita was based.
• Decision-making fatigue is very real, especially where food decisions are concerned. A PCOS website I follow has more info here.
• Another "oldie but goodie": an Aidy Bryant interview where she just keeps stealing my heart.
• Well, it's come to this: a how-to for realistic Doomsday Prep.
• I just really love Christy Carlson Romano y'all and here she's all...talking queer and stuff, and my heart---aaahhh.

AND I watched all of Supergirl during a two day arthritis flare-up that left me barely able to make it to the bathroom from my couch. AND I followed that up by binging (for no good reason) Wynonna Earp while I was at it. Regardless of your taste for gun slinging badasses with cute, hella smart, femme sisters (I mean, I don't know why you're not into that if you aren't but you do you) but this song is wonderful. I've been listening non-stop ever since.

Syfy's Wynonna Earp Theme Song "Tell That Devil" performed by Jill Andrews Purchase: http://amzn.to/1UYOyCM

My Water Altar! (Plus How to Build Your Own!)

Creating an Elemental Altar

I work very well with altars. I have one to Hecate and my ancestors. I have an ongoing prosperity spell that has become it's own altar. My living room windowsill collects more and more things to and from Hestia. Then the other night, I was re-reading the blog I penned shortly after my birthday and checking in with myself about how I was feeling on the whole “leaning into my emotions” thing when it hit me: I need a Water altar. I am a Pisces babe through and through, even when I suppress it. Which means that in times when I'm trying to heal and push myself to allow my own watery tendencies to heal me, I needed an altar to work with to push me on my way. I decided to build my Water Altar for two reasons:
 

1. To have a daily visual, spiritual reminder to honor my truest, most watery self every day.

2. To have an altar paying respect to the spiritual entities that come from or frequently work with water.

I'm so happy with how my altar is looking already that I thought I'd share how to curate appropriate objects and build your own elemental altar. Whether you need to build an altar to your own sign's element, to an element who's energy you're lacking, or if you need a specific element's help for a specific spell or ritual, this should help. Here's what I put on mine:

1. A tarot card! Obviously the first thing I rifled through to serve as the base of my water altar was the tarot deck I use for spellwork. I pulled out the Ace of Cups. The Ace of the corresponding suit is ideal; a Court card or any you strongly connect with would also work.

2. Objects organically and responsibly given from that element. Examples would be feathers or leaves for Air. Stones and twigs work great for Earth. Matches or charcoal would work splendidly for Fire. In the case of Water, I used Lake Superior Agate that I pulled in real life, nautilus shells friends have given me over the years, a starfish I received as part of a gift basket once, and some seashells I picked up on an L.A. Beach. I do have two hard and fast rules for this part of building any altar, but especially one to an element. Number One: I don't take from anywhere with a sign posted saying I can't. Number Two: I have to ask a Spiritual Entity for permission (and receive that permission), even if it feels like something is screaming for me to take it. Gifted objects also work great for this part though, so if you are someone who doesn't take from nature at all, that's a perfectly reasonable way to add such objects.

3. A touch of whimsy! I have a glass whale I've had forever that looks so cute sitting at the head of the water altar. I have a sea turtle that I'm sussing out if it belongs there are not. Relevant charms from a charm casting set or charm jewelry set also work. Toys, poems, song lyrics you wrote down—anything that adds a touch of whimsy and lightness will make those elemental energies very happy and eager to collaborate with you.

4. Anything else that speaks to you. My black moonstone was screaming to go on the altar, and my quartz pendulum seemed pretty happy too. This altar wants NO fire as of now, so I left off candles. This is a purely intuitive side of the work, and a crucial one because of that.

5. The actual element! A candle that you light daily for Fire, stones or a literal cup of dirt for Earth, incense or an ethically harvested bird skeleton for Air are great examples of this. I literally just made Moon Water in a mason jar and stuck it on my altar.

That's it! No need to overcomplicate it. Besides, I'm a firm believer in living altars, which means I'll still use that pendulum on the go sometimes and it goes with me that day. Other stones may wanted added, or the Black Moonstone may end up getting used a different way. Tokens and emblems I find at a beach or receive as a gift could end up getting added, or not. I let my altars grow or shrink and use what's there when I work with it. I'd love to see pictures of your own elemental altars—hit me up on social media to show off!

Blessed Be y'all!

On Lizzo, River Walks, and Gearing Up for April

The river is rushing, wildflowers are starting to bud, and my eyes won't stop watering. It must actually be full-on not-a-joke-this-time Spring! Normally autumn is MY season. Fall is when I come alive, when I feel my dieties working with me, and when I get excited about the year's transformations in my life. That's still very true—nothing like an October chill to reinvigorate me—but this Spring feels really fresh and exciting to me too. As we jump into warmer weather, here's how I spent my March when I wasn't here:

A beautiful Spring day driving past a beautiful spot in Minneapolis.

• Tarot Stuff: As some of you reading have already discovered, I have picked up Sunday day time shifts at my beloved steady gig, The Eye of Horus! I'll be there from 11:30-6 on Sundays in addition to evenings on Wednesdays. In more mundane news, I've started using my Modern Spellcaster's deck in readings, and I've gotten into a lovely e-mail reading groove with a few of you too! You can find out more about my e-mail readings here.

• Writing Round-Up! I did a major big kid writer thing this month—I applied to not one but TWO emerging writer's grants to finish a manuscript for a memoir about finding laughter in traumatic circumstances. There's also some Queering the Tarot action here and here, and a profile I got to capture on a poet I just adore here. I'm also working on a second e-book for y'all. This one is a little more substantial but I hope to finish up this month. You can grab my first, a mini e-book about using tarot for healing here.

• Theatre (and beyond): Oh, you know, just performed improv and front of people for the first time, thus finishing my improv class with a bang. Plus a Drunk Queer History my company organized, a mainstage show I directed, and I dunno, something about us getting a grant for our summer one-act festival. Keep up to date by signing up for Gadfly's mailing list!

• Life Outside of Work! (That's a thing, sort of?): I managed to have a really spectacular month in spite of having three careers, two of which required grants due and one which I produced multiple major events. Most notably, I ended the month at a Lizzo concert with three of my very best friends, brought to tears at a hip-hop show for (I think) the first time. The show has me mulling over self-love and what loving your body truly means. I adore my mind, and I'm a genuinely kind, sweet person and love that deeply about myself. I'm also incredibly fun. Yet for all of my body and fat positiviy and attraction to women and genderqueer people of ALL sizes actually loving my body the way Lizzo raps about is so hard for me. She has completely re-inspired me to take on self- love exercises to help me get there though

  • Favorite things I read: I started the month by breezing through Neil Gaiman's accessible, fun take on Norse Mythology. I got super sucked in to Murakami's weird world again with The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. I devoured Fisher's Princess Diarist and Mara Wilson's Where Am I Now in approximately a day and a half each. That's a lot, I know but it was a really good book month!

  • Favorite Things I Watched: I went to see King Lear at the Guthrie, not for research or review but just to go. This was the first time I'd gotten to do something like that in a very, very long time and the show was wonderful. The eye gouging piece of the play was SO well executed, and the rest of the show was pretty great too. Alternatively, Manny and I also binged Season 1 of Supergirl in about a week. I am completely obsessed and dying to get my hands on Season 2 even though it's still happening. I saw Get Out in the movie theater and OH. MY. GOD. Even with all the rave reviews I was surprised by how good it was, because it's that good. I don't even like scary movies but I'm raving about this one still. As just a guilty pleasure thing, I've also been watching Trial and Error on NBC. I love John Lithgow and this one is really silly and fun.

  • Other Things I Loved: Manny and I have spent several afternoons or evenings walking along the Mississippi River just chatting about ourselves, art, and the river itself. I'm so overjoyed that we're back in “hanging out near water” season and these escapes have helped my mental health so, so much. Now that it's warming up, if you're physically capable and live near a large body of water—go! What are you doing reading the internet right now?!

One more view of the river before we head out for today!

That's it for me and my theatreific, booktastic, Supergirl-swamped March! Please tweet or Facebook me about your own adventures!

Blessed Be, y'all!

Theatre + Internet = My Entire March So Far!

Hello all!

I've been on a bit of an accidental blogging hiatus lately--tech week last week really took it out of me, and the only breaks I had were spent tiredly staring at my computer catching up on Autostraddle and other faves (and watching Penny Dreadful. I'm so in love with Eva Green.)

The good news is twofold! One) And Then They Fell by Tira Palmquist is up, running, and wonderful so far. You can grab your tickets here! Two) THIS IS THE MOTHER OF ALL LINK ROUND-UPS. SO much internet the past few weeks, y'all. Get ready.

Just Because: My friend Anne says smart things about women, theatres, and museums here. ~I love reading about Diane Arbus, and this article goes pretty deep. ~8 Female Surrealists Who Aren't Frida Kahlo ~ Sometimes I forget PostSecret exists, and remembering is always the best present to myself. ~ Nerdy fan theories about Steven Universe ~ A really in-depth piece about the soundtrack to My So-Called Life. It's worth the length, I promise. ~ A very cute, informative comic about puppy play (NSFW!) ~ I fell pretty deep into this article about Kudzu. ~ Women who changed science forever ~ Some stuff about Pluto as a planet (or not) ~ Daria turned 20 Y'all. ~ Sex ed falls short sometimes ~

How to Life Better: Something every chronically ill, anxious, or exhausted person needs: an At the Very Least List ~ Being Relatable Online ~ Some solid sales advice ~ I love Seth Godin. A lot. ~ Making a perfect speech ~ Please don't cancel ~Some deeper self-care options ~ Wasting money on your business? Whoops. ~ Someone in your life toxic? The solution might be waaay different than you think. ~ I love this!

Notes for the Intersectional Queer Feminist Revolution: Sex Workers and Activism <3 ~The Trash Heap Has Spoken is one of my favorite things I've read in probably a couple of years. ~ A photo essay of femmes and genderqueer POC. It's SO good. ~ Africa's First Female President! ~ On Britain and queer immigrants ~ Decolonize Your Science Reading List (so much added to my "to read" list!) ~ An interesting read on being gay in Colonial America ~ Raising a trans child in Texas ~ Unprecedented change requires unprecendeted self-love. ~ Teen Vogue, Moonlight, and Queer Black Men ~ ~ A tech boost if you need help with an eating disorder ~ Making peace with food (even when you hate your body) ~ Eight Native Women That Are Badass (a paraphrased title) ~ Jeanna Kadlec's Must-Read on Allyship ~ Sexism and Sickness ~ Keep having those hard convos in small towns, y'all. It's working. ~

Tarot, Witchcraft, Etc.: When Spirituality Sucks ~ The Tarot Lady gets so beautifully personal here ~ I LOVE this series at Briana Saussy's site and this one really made me dig deeper into The Emperor. ~ Anarchy, Feminism, and Goddess Energy with the writer of one of my very favorite books ~ So, um, Venus is in retrograde for a bit yet. ~ More on Venus moving backwards here ~ You should be following this short, easy but rad tarot series ~

Theatre Nerdery: Gender Parity in Theatre (An Overview) ~ Don't Write Checks You Can't Cash ~ Moonlight got it's start on the stage, and this piece about that is wonderful. ~Eleven Tropes I (and Bitter Gertrude) Could Not Be More Over

That's all, y'all! Blessed be!

Multi-Passion Diaries: What a Life in Theatre Has Taught Me About Running a Tarot Business

Welcome to what will hopefully be an ongoing series here at the blog! I think effective blogging has to come from a place of sincerity and vulnerability, and in the spirit of that, this series honestly came to me one night when I was having a rough go of trying to figure out where (if anywhere) I fit in and what communities I felt rooted in. That's the true challenge, in my opinion, of being someone with multiple careers or even one career and really significant passions or hobbies outside of that. Time management for things like deadlines and getting things done has always come easily to me. I run on pure passion for the things I love to do. I can't imagine not running Gadfly. I can't imagine not occasionally performing, directing, or otherwise working on productions outside of Gadfly. I have no idea what my life would look like without tarot and I don't want to know. Then there's my writing—while I'm often able to tie that side of my life into my work in art or with the metaphysical, I have so much more as a writer to offer and my dream life looks like hilarious yet PTSD fueled memoirs and novels as well as tarot series and books and regular art reviews and syndicated columns. By all accounts, I'm making the build to that all work and finding spurts of success along the way.

As this series moves forward though, I'll send those who want to write for a guest spot some questions to write around. One of those questions is: “What is the biggest challenge that comes from running your metaphysical business while also creating something else huge in your life?” For me that answer is that this multi-passion life is actually a little bit lonely. I have my hands in several different fields, so I never feel fully connected in any. Furthermore, because of ongoing self-esteem issues I deal with as well as social anxiety, I perceive a lot of pushback when I try to dig into the social side of any of the communities at hand because I'm only there half the time. I'm not theatre enough, or witch enough, and often I don't feel queer enough even for that community which is ridiculous because I'm gay and non-binary and who knows what else. I am probably imagining this pushback, but that is the challenge for me: the networking and figuring out the social side while also being so deeply in love with the work itself. I want most of my work time to be focused on work--and as a result, I end up feeling a little isolated or not present where I should.

*Deck featured is the Night Vale Tarot

Life with your hands in multiple pots certainly has it's benefits though, and that's the meat of this series. Here's a brief list of what a life and training in theatre has taught me about running my tarot business:

How to compartmentalize. My theatre motto is and has always been “keep the drama on the stage.” If you want the show to be good, nothing else matters in rehearsal expect rehearsing, and certainly nothing else matters during a performance. While I haven't found the metaphysical community to be overly drama-laden, that core idea of compartmentalizing has allowed me to give overwhelmingly deep, emotional readings to close friends, theatre colleagues, and neighbors without a hint of concern about what happens when they leave my studio. Just like I am ONLY a director when I'm in a rehearsal room, I'm ONLY your tarot reader or spiritual guide when you come in for a reading. The second we leave, you're my friend, my friend's partner, my co-worker, and it's like the hour of intimacy between us never happened. On your end, practice makes perfect here. Take on even one client at a time that you know or are close with, and really push yourself to keep the confidentiality you promise, be open in your session with them, and then just forget the whole thing when you're done. Energy cleanses are good practice too for this.

Trust your gut. This seems like something a professional tarot reader wouldn't need to learn from a different format, but trust me, when I started Tarot by Cassandra nearly a decade ago, I would see deep, earth-shattering epiphanies in the cards, and if I wasn't sure how the person would react I didn't read them. Not only does this not make sense as a professional psychic, but it strikes a deep contrast to my theatre training which tells me to make a choice and stick to it. Over time as my dual passions each took their own shape, I had to take bigger chances and leaps of faith with Gadfly—reaching out to scary donors, pulling in playwrights I idolize to work with us, and aiming for that dream cast every time. This definitively leaked over to my tarot life, and now I read what I see, no matter how poorly I'm worried it may be received. And you know what? I can count on one hand the number of times someone has gotten upset with me or been combative in response to my frankness. Always trust your gut—even if you had to learn to in a totally different way.

How to memorize quickly! While now I'm primarily a producer and director, for years I wanted to be the next Broadway actress. Reality kind of penned me down my senior year of college, but nonetheless, years of getting off book by the assigned date has given me a special skill when it comes to learning new decks or spreads quickly. Unfortunately there's no “real life” tie-in here—just a humble brag about my memorization skills and a shout out to a plucky, eager baby me who was always off book before the due date.

Social Media Savvy is key for both my tarot business and my theatre life, but I started Gadfly first. I've always been the default marketing whiz on our team, so I was the one researching Facebook algorithms in my free time and who developed our online campaigns. When it came time to start my own business then, figuring out which social media I was using and how was a breeze. I still get the bulk of my product buys from Twitter, social networking on Instagram, and in-person readings from Facebook, and I wouldn't know what fit best where without my start in Gadfly. The real life takeaway here? Learn your social media if you're using it to market. It will save your business' life. (Not into the internet at all? Check this out for other options.)

The show must go on. I read a lot of articles about reading no matter what you've been through—break-ups, family emergencies, health stuff within reason, but it's mostly a curiosity. I can't even list a cute or fun story about when I learned that come time to perform/read tarot/get an article done, you just do it. In theatre, opening night is no joke, and it doesn't matter if someone dropped out a week ago. You fill it in, and you go. In tarot, that means even when my chronic illness is a hot mess or my PTSD is acting up, it's weirdly easy for me to get in the zone. The best way to give that serenity to other is often with a mantra right before—it takes you out of the heartache/anger/anxiety clouding your vision and preps you for the session.

Overall, life in theatre has left me with one key life lesson that comes in handy when it comes to running my tarot business, my writing career, and my personal life all in one: breathe. While it was tarot that taught me to give up on the cult of busy (more on that at a later date), it was still theatre that taught me that if literal set pieces are falling down around you, you take a step out of the way and take a breath. If your scene partner doesn't show up on time, you take a breath. That breath is solace and comfort, and it refreshes your brain so you know how to improvise and forge ahead. A show has never been ruined because someone DIDN'T take a moment to release some pent up air and clear their head. A director has never fired an entire cast because they remembered to breathe. That lesson, learned early on, has stayed with me in all areas. If a client is arguing with me or my cards are legitimately cloudy, I take a breath and then see how I feel. If an editor accepts my proposal but has issues with my actual writing piece, I take a breath and then carry on a conversation about edits. I rarely will continue a fight with someone in my personal life without deep breathes and a clear mind. So no matter what passions in your life you're balancing or thinking on remember: breathe.

Blessed be, y'all!

International Women's Day, A Strike, and a Reason to Celebrate!

Today is International Women's Day, a day from their own site for "celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity." That's rad! And while there is a little bit of controversy around the day--everything from white washing to getting a capitalist slant that are all completely valid perspectives, I still choose to celebrate women today. For me this means celebrating and uplifting the voices of:

• Queer women
• Women of color
• Sex workers
• Women who have to work in spite of a national call for striking
• Poor women
• Women who start businesses
• Women who run businesses
• Women who stay home and take care of kids
• Women who work tirelessly to make ends meet
• Women who tell stories
• Women who listen to stories
• Women who don't believe in the need for today
• Self-made millionaire women
• Women who run parts of the world
• ...and myself

You see, I didn't always believe in existence as a form of resistance. I just happened to show up on this Earth, and activism was my duty and my role to make it better. I've fought tirelessly--endless conversations with now allies (and a few ex-friends), marches, campaigns, art. It never felt like enough though. I never felt like enough. I still, to be honest, do not feel like enough some days.

But I'm learning to live in my reality, to stand up and declare that I'm here and let that be enough for some days. Because I'm sick. And I'm tired. I have been sexually assaulted multiple times. I have been literally stalked. I had a ROUGH upbringing and an even rougher start to adulthood. Yet I'm here. I have stood at the gates of hell and insisted on coming through, sure there was more at the other end. And I was right. And that, is reason enough to celebrate today.

We have all stood at the gates of hell and insisted on coming through, sure there was more at the other end. And we were right. Remember that today as we plow through facing a world that wants us to be quiet and in our place, a world that wants to attack us, blame us, and forget us, a world that wants eat us alive. We have pushed through and we have gotten somewhere beautiful. So strike if you can, work if you can't, and spend some time laughing, learning, and celebrating with the strong, badass women in your life.

Happy International Women's Day, to all of you.

Blessed be.

Spring is Here--Sort of? Maybe? But March Definitely is!

While February is hands down my favorite month, I am elated every time March hits as well. My oldest younger sister was born in March, the mainstage work I do for Gadfly Theatre is usually in March, and while I like winter, the seasons changing in general tends to help me hit a reset button. Granted, this year the latter hasn't been quite the steady rise I had hoped, but everything else stands!

February was wonderful, busy and hectic, but wonderful. I'm still in the middle of putting together a mainstage show about queer homeless youth and victims of sexual abuse. It was my birthday month which took me out for Mexican food and my favorite drag show with so many of my favorite people. That Pisces energy is hitting me pretty hard though, especially in light of the New Moon and eclipse and everything else. My PTSD is having some issues, but I'm also working through some emotions positively too. I'm a lot more in touch with my sensitive Pisces soul than I have been in a long time. I don't feel the need to play tough anymore, and I'm ready for real again--real feelings, real relationships, real, deep love of all types. I find myself welling up out of joy and gratitude AND fear and sadness at least a few times a day, but I'm letting myself have and experience that even though I've been trying to shove it down for the past couple of years.

Other things I've been up too:

• Tarot Stuff: I've got this really short but powerful mini e-book for sale. It hasn't quite gotten the attention I'd hoped for, but everyone who has snagged one has loved it--so maybe you want to be one of those people? I'm still down at Eye of Horus on Wednesdays, and come April I'll be picking up Sundays too! After letting a good friend crash with us for a few months because of some work hubbub, I have my at home tarot studio back! I also got to read for some of the absolute cutest, sweetest people this month, saw a small boom in my e-mail business, and am talking to a few potential students for my newly revamped coaching package. See my services page to grab your own slot in any of that! I also had new headshots taken! Wheee!
• Writing Round-Up! I really love some of what I did on the blog this month--plus the aforementioned e-book. My favorites beyond that are here and here. Additionally, some Queering the Tarot goodness--the Ten of Wands and Knight of Wands on different sites showed up, as usual. I also got to highlight one of my very favorite artists and get more insight from what drives her. I also got to research, write, and explore the beginning and growth of ball culture in the U.S. for Gadfly's latest Drunk Queer History. Even though a drunk storyteller doesn't quite get word perfect, I was really pleased with how it came out.
• Theatre (and beyond): In addition to the hinted at work above with Gadfly (see our site for more), I'm in a WTF improv class at Huge Theater right now. I was absolutely terrified and super caught up in "OH MY GODS WHAT AM I DOING?" But I wanted a foundation to improve my storytelling, the quick one-minute play style of theater I love doing so much, and even just to learn some new tricks as an instructor and director. All of that happened and is happening, but I, um, think I've been bitten by this improv bug I was warned about...
• Life Outside of Work! (That's a thing, sort of?): Because this has been a pretty emotional month, I'm a little all over the place in terms of goals like "reading a book a week" and doing things like squad hangs, but I had a few fun adventures. My birthday party at Lush was one of the most fun nights I've had in months, and I'm so grateful for the people in my life and that Lush like, exists and does such wonderful LGBTQ+ nightlife.
  • Favorite things I read: Tell My Horse: Voodoo and Life in Haiti and Jamaica by Zora Neale Hurston has lots of rich myth and culture about the oft misaligned voodoo. It reads as easily as any of her other work too. I also devoured Octavia's Brood, a speculative fiction collection inspired by Octavia Butler, mostly writers from marginalized communities. 
  • Favorite Things I Watched: Moonlight winning the Oscar for Best Picture was SO SO important to me. And that's the part I choose to focus on. Swiss Army Man was even weirder than I anticipated. I loved it.
  • Other Things I Loved: My hair went even bolder in it's purple, blue, and teal glory this time and I loooove it. Two of my best friends are obsessed with these tiny hands and overly large hands and any time they get broken out to play it's a good time. I finally tried Glam Doll NE thanks to some birthday fun, and they have some unique to that branch flavors and this ridiculous couch (pictured below) that I'm in love with. My brother sent me this deck for my birthday. It's stunning. I also worked some pretty hardcore magick this month (hence the first photo).

I have big goals for March: one event is down, but I have And Then They Fell opening. I want to get a second e-book, this one a little more substantial up. I have a couple of new regular series that will hit. And I'm determined to make it to a few shows I'm not directly involved with, in spite of the time crunch. And I can't wait to officially add a few decks to my repertoire, mostly this week or next: the Fairy Lights, Modern Spellcaster's, and eventually the Slow Holler (right now I feel really personally connected to the deck and using it elsewhere feels weird, but I do know it well enough by now), to be specific. I'm also pretty interested in a web overhaul but not promising that within the month.

Until then, blessed be! Feel free to share your own adventures. Love y'all.