My Pride Wish For Your Brave Heart
"Learning to read tarot cards was a transformative experience that fell into my lap when I was struggling with my sexual identity, recovering from sexual assault, and living with a roommate whose manipulations I hadn’t even begun to comprehend. Tarot provided an outside eye, fresh insight, and a look into the future I was headed towards."
This is what I wrote for The Column on September 2nd of 2014 as I lept, like the tarot's Fool into my Queering the Tarot journey. On March 31st, 2015, Little Red Tarot picked up this ongoing series. From there my humble little posts about reading tarot for queer seekers blossomed into things I never imagined. It has been an outlet, an escape, a processing tool, an education, and a way to connect with world wide community.
It has also been picked up by Weiser/Red Wheel to be published as a book next year. That fact is a miracle that is as much a testament to manifesting and prayer as it is to anything else. Very quickly into the Queering the Tarot article series I remembered how important writing used to be to me, and in spite of the fact that I have a theatre company & tarot career I'm never giving up on I became determined to succeed as a writer too. I started doing some arts journalism at The Column. I started this blog. I started storytelling. In so many ways, I came alive again. Most notably, I got a short, shocking e-mail from my now-editor at Weiser. "Do you have any interest into turning your Queer tarot series into a book?" she asked simply.
I cried that night, and I wasn't sure why. I shook with fear that this was fake, some kind of set up by a scammer. Once I was sure this was real, I was sure that they would get my manuscript and drop the project. I was so worried something would happen. Hell, we still have half a year to go and I'm still worried something bad will happen. But then I remember that sitting on the shore of Lake Superior during one of our seasonal getaways, I looked at my queerplatonic partner one night in late 2015 and said "I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy. I really feel like this queer tarot series is going to change my life though." They vehemently agreed. Empowered by their faith in me, I made a wish under the Duluth stars for my secret book dreams to come true.
I am telling you this story on the Monday of Pride week, because I fully believe that my dream is coming true because I sat on a lake and wished upon stars for it. (I also worked my ass off, making sure each post was better than the last and promoting the pieces like hell. Dreams alone get us nowhere, but that's a different post for a different day.) It's easy to lose hope in an ugly, ugly world like ours. It's easy to hate and to become callous and hard. So my wish this Pride week for you and your loved ones is that you take a moment to be in a place you love, with a person you love, and make a wish.
Then, I hope like hell you can wish it into being over time. If you let me know your wish, I'll light a candle and make that wish too, to honor my queerplatonic partner who sat beside me and helped me wish my dream into being.
MY wish for YOU this Pride is the ability and the gift of wishing itself. You deserve that much, at least. Especially now.